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December 20, 2010

FMWL's 12 Midnights of Christmas: 6 Blobs A-Blobbing

I'm pretty sure The Mike's love of Blobs is the worst kept secret in FMWL's history.  Heck, I've got at least 16 posts that involve AWESOME BLOBNESS.  And now it's 17, because there's no way the 12 Midnights of Christmas are ending without a bit of blobtasticness. 

So, here's a look at 6 blobs I love, the films they appeared in, and their best blobby moments.  If you can't love a good blob, check your pulse!  (And, even if you can't, you should at least read on to see how many suffixes I can give the word blob!)

FMWL's 12 Midnights of Christmas presents: 6 Blobs A-Blobbing
By The Mike

The Blob from The Blob (1958)

OK, so it's a easy place to start, but that's exactly what it was for me...a place to start.  Alongside more "serious" classic fare, this was little The Mike's intro to B-Movie style Drive-In horror.  It was exactly what I needed, and I still love it entirely.

Of course, my Blob memories have to start with the film's first victim, the poor old farmer who poked a meteor with a stick and didn't think that the gelatin substance would be able to climb a stick.  This is also one of my favorite shots of our deadly Blob in its infancy, because it looks so bloody yet maintains its viscosity.  This is where it began for the creature from that molten meteor.

The Blob from Beware! The Blob (1972)

The Larry Hagman directed sequel to my beloved classic is an unfortunately silly film, which is probably why I barely even heard of it until I was an adult.  When I finally did get a look at it in the past couple of years, I'll admit to having fun with it, but mostly in a "Oh, wow, I can't believe they made this kind of way."  It's especially interesting considering the amount of Hollywood talent involved - usually briefly - in the film (Including cameos from Hagman and Burgess Meredith!).

After a sad intital scene between a unfrozen blob and a cute little kitten, the scene that most interests me occurs when the blob takes on the fisherman who recovered a canister of blob...who is actually watching The Blob.  I have never quite been able to wrap my head around what this means, but I like to think it's some kind of time-bending Terminator-esque turn that means The Blob happened for real, but the movie happened for real too, and now The Blob is back, but the movie exists, but wait....I'm just totally confused now.  Anyway, dude bites it watching McQueen try to convince old folks that blobs exist.  Weird.

That Oil Slick Lookin' Blobby Thing from Creepshow 2 (1987)

Creepshow 2 is also an unfortunate sequel, but the middle segement, The Raft, has stuck with me as a blobby classic for years.  In reality, this one's horribly acted and kind of silly (it definitely makes the original Blob look that much more legit), but it's still one of the more fun tales of a killing blob I can recall.  (And it's even better in short story form, thanks to our diabolical friend Stephen King.)

I thought about mentioning the first Creepshow's blobby segment, The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill, which stars King himself in a comedic tale that has more than passing similarities to The Blob, but give the edge to The Raft on its pure amorphosity and a cool final showdown between survivor and That Oil Slick Lookin' Blobby Thing.  Plus there's the weird sex scene, which makes sense in the story but seems kind of horrific in the filmed version.  I don't know why, but it makes me love this silly segment even more.

The Blob from The Blob (1988)

I know, I know, y'alllll love the remake.  I do too.  It's about as gory, interesting, and realistic as a blob tale can be.  I still miss my cheesy Blob when I watch it, and I personally feel the film loses a lot of the original's charm as it becomes an '80s horror filled with hair, leather, and well-drawn supporting characters.  But I can see its charm for fans of this era, because I'm one of them too.  It's one of those "different strokes for different folks" kind of horror flicks.

One of the scenes that sticks out to me from this version is the untimely demise of the restauranter played by Candy Clark.  A minor genre star from films like The Man Who Fell To Earth, Q: The Winged Serpent, and (former Midnight Movie of the Week) Cat's Eye, I always assume Clark is going to play a bigger part in the film's battle against blobness when I start watching it.  Plus, Jeff De Munn's Sheriff is into her, and we all love De Munn and want him to be happy, right?  Alas, it was not to be...and Clark's fate is a perfect example of the harder edge that this Blob brings to the screen.

The "Mood Slime" from Ghostbusters II (1989)

If you're like me (and God, I hope you're not) your top memory of Ghostbusters II is Peter MacNicol screaming "HEEEE IIISSS VVVVVVVVIIIIIIIGGGGOOOOO!!" every 24.6 seconds.  Seriously, dude needs to take some Prozac, or whatnot.  But once you get past that (which might not actually happen every 24.6 seconds, I haven't watched the movie in full in near 20 years) there's the river of slime living beneath NYC that seems to be feeding off the emotions of those around it.  As any good giant mass of slime should, this stuff occasionally takes on a blobish form.

There are several blobby moments, like the dancing toaster bit that would make the real blob shake whatever the blob equivalent of a head is in disbelief, but the best might come when Sigourney Weaver's Dana, while preparing a bath for her and baby Oscar, comes face to blob with it in the bathtub.  I gotta say, the rubber buckling of what I'd assume to be a plastic bathtub always kind of confused me (as does the sight of Weaver in a bra), but it definitely establishes the Mood Slime as a forceful bit of blob.  (Even if it looks like a giant condom in that screencap.)

The T-1000 from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

OK, so it mostly takes on the form of Robert Patrick, and sometimes Jeanette Goldstein, and others too.  But the T-1000, under its human shaped exterior, is totally the most famous blob in modern cinema.  I mean, just look at it, there's no way you can call that not a blob. Is there?

Though it does some totally unblobby things, like becoming people or sharp objects - which suggests that this blob can take on a solid form - it's always capable of being amorphous.  And that's what the blob is too, right?  I say yes.  Terminator 2 is a blob film.  So it is written, so it shall be.

Got your own favorite blobs that I didn't list?  Go ahead and bring 'em up below!  And get ready for the last FIVE Midnights of Christmas!  Until we meet again, Midnight Warriors....stay blobby!

(P.S. - GO AWAY ROB ZOMBIE!  LEAVE MY BLOBS ALONE!)  

9 comments:

Malice said...

YES! Slimy goodness.

I was wondering if you'd mention the Ghostbusters 2 mood slime. It's what would happen if the blob from The Blob ever decided to round his IMDB out with a romantic comedy.

Jinx said...

Yes Ghostbusters II! Knew there'd be some blob related goodness in the 12 Midnights.

Lee Russell said...

The remake Blob is my favourite. A very quick, vicious, and deadly hunting organism, rather than just a dumb jello that sort of ate whatever it happened to roll over. Glad you listed the Creepshow 2 one, however. It's attack on the cute redhead was the best pure moment of horror in that film.

Morgan said...

I still believe that Kevin Dillon's mullet was the actual blob in the '88 remake.

No need to worry, The Mike. Rob is no longer working in the remake.

Emily said...

Love it! Blobbiness is an underrated villain, to be sure. Love me some Blob remake and while I also know Creepshow 2 isn't actually good, something about it always brings me back to being far too young yet taken to the theaters to see it with my family. Ahhhh, nostalgia.

The Mike said...

Thanks all! Seeing others love Blobs warms my heart.

And Morgan, good call on the mullet! It's tres blobiriffic!

Liam Underwood said...

That segment of Creepshow 2 is just too damn good, very nice to see it included alongside Ghostbusters II! As for the other blobs... I guess I gots me some watching to do

R.D. Penning said...

OH THE BLOBINESS!!! Now you have me thinking. There are probably more blobs out there I haven't even thought about. Like even in book form- R.L. Stine's Monster Blood I II & III, and The Blob that Ate Everyone!!! Damn you Mike for getting the gears a turnin!

Fred [The Wolf] said...

The only one I haven't seen is the BLOB sequel. I will be reviewing both THE BLOB original and remake for my Original vs. Remake portion of my blog probably in January.

Great calls on the CREEPSHOW II and GHOSTBUSTERS 2 ones. No list would be complete without them.

Great post!