How The Mike Met Horror, Volume 3 - The Movies

How The Mike Met Horror, Volume 1 - The Books

How The Mike Met Horror, Volume 2 - The Television

While the first two parts of this series may have been familiar to most horror folks of my generation, the movies that sent me to where I am as a horror fan will be more familiar to the kind folks that read this here blog.  Most of the movies I'm about to talk about have been covered here numerous times, so coming up with something relevant and useful to say in what follows has been a strong challenge for me.  But as I look at this list of horror movies that inspired me in my path toward horror, I am taken aback by how totally random these movies seem to be. 

I've covered some of the movies that inspired me in my currently running Top 50 Horror Movies Countdown - and I've chosen not to repeat my position on many of the films on that list.  I'd be completely wrong to negate the impact films like The Shining, Fright Night, Happy Birthday to Me, and others had on me, but there's something about each of the movies I'm about to mention that just feels incredibly special to me.  I know I'm not the only person that likes them, but it's kind of like these movies just happened to be in the right place at the right time for me.  And that time and place was, for lack of a more intellectual word, awesome.

(If you missed the explanation behind this series, you should know that all credit for this idea belongs to the wonderful Mrs. Christine Hadden over at Fascination With Fear, who does lists better than anyone in the Western Hemisphere. For that, I salute her.)

The Mike's Horror Trinity

In January of 2009, From Midnight, With Love was born. And when I started putting this little blog together, dreaming that someday someone might read the ramblings I had to offer and maybe even consider an opinion of mine as a reason to check out a genre film, I put together a simple bio for the sidebar of the site that explained what I stood for as a genre fan.  That same bio still sits in the right hand column of this site - and you can still see these three films listed there as the movies that awakened the monster that I now am.

I can't remember all the details, but I'm pretty sure Phantom of the Opera came to me first.  I remember being told about silent movies and realizing that this was kind of like reading a book with pictures, and I don't know if I had the attention span to finish the whole movie, but I do remember getting to the part where the unmasking happens and I remember being really freakin' excited.  Whenever people ask me about my first horror movie, I mention this one.

Creature from the Black Lagoon came next, I think.  I remember being in awe of the green dude on the cover when I first had the VHS tape brought to me, and I remember taking it to a friend's house when I was in second grade to watch during a sleepover. It didn't go as well as I wanted it to - I'm pretty sure I watched the whole thing alone - but at least I was in love with it.  Was this the first time I tried to push someone I know to watch a horror movie against their will? It may very well have been.

Considering that it's the one of these three that I mention the most, it's slightly funny to me that I don't have any vivid memories of my childhood encounter with The Blob outside of the question mark that pops on screen at the ending.  I didn't fall as in love with The Blob as I am now until a little later in my life - but I do remember thinking it was a ton of fun and talking about The Blob all the time whenever I had a reason to make a reference to it. (And sometimes when I didn't.)

As I look at these three VHS tapes now - and that's them, in their original glory, as they look tonight - I am completely in awe of how much what these three movies meant to me before I was even 10 years old. Maybe it was a brilliant design by my parents, or maybe it was just dumb luck - but whatever the reason, I can't help feeling that they gave me the three perfect films to push me to the love of horror I have today.

The Monster Squad

Remember that time in part one of this series when I talked about "those orange back monster books from the library?  (If not, you should go read it and stuff.) Well, The Monster Squad was the film adaptation of those books - and the library had it too.  Again, this was one of those things that kind of got lost in my memory except for parts - "Wolfman's got gnards!" is part of my philosophy on life, obviously - but it was my gateway to the monsters that I hadn't really seen outside of those books.  Fred Dekker got me in the door with his monsters-for-kids film, which is probably exactly what he wanted to do - and I applaud him for that.

Pumpkinhead

There's a very simple and not very exciting reason that Pumpkinhead is on this list.  When I was 8 or 9, I was ready for all the "scary" movies I could get.  I'd seen the trinity, I'd seen the Monster Squad, I'd seen Dracula, and I wanted more. And I thought a monster with a pumpkin for a head sounded like a creepy idea, for reasons that I will elaborate on next week.  Well.....

It was NOT a good idea for little me.  I have a vivid memory of about 12 seconds of Pumpkinhead carnage when I was a kid.  And I remember being instantly shocked and terrified and completely uninterested in seeing any more of that. Did I act cool? Yeah, I was a cool little pimp. But I was terrified. I went away from the screen and I did not come back.  I wasn't completely ready to go where I wanted to go, but I learned from the experience.

Clownhouse

There it sits, alongside the plastic protector from Freedom Video Superstore in Marshalltown, Iowa that protected it (poorly, as you can see) for over 10 years in store and over 10 years in my hands.  On sentimental value alone, this would be the absolute first thing that I would grab and run to safety if my lair was on fire. 

I've long ago written a detailed rant about how much Clownhouse meant to my sister and I as we became old enough to watch horror movies.  But I couldn't talk about movies that contributed to my horror love without Clownhouse. I must have watched it 50 times between the ages of 10 and 15, and I always knew it wasn't a good movie.  But I loved it.  And it led to every bad horror movie I've loved, and every horror movie I've watched and shouted at with friends, and every stupid grin I've ever given during a stupid movie.  All of that can be traced back to how much fun I my family had with Clownhouse.

When that Freedom Video store went out of business, my mother rushed to town and ran through the store to grab it before anyone else even had a chance.  You know how that watch was Bruce Willis' birthright in Pulp Fiction? Clownhouse is like that to my sister and I.

Dr. Giggles

Speaking of stupid and bad, there's Dr. Giggles.  I have to list Dr. Giggles here, for similar reasons to Clownhouse.  We didn't watch this movie religiously, nor did we necessarily like the movie, but Dr. Giggles became a cult figure in our house very quickly when we first encountered him.

And so it came to pass that my father would torture my sister by cackling like Dr. Giggles. And it's still funny.  Heck, I'm pretty sure he somehow mentioned Dr. Giggles while she was in the hospital after giving birth a couple of weeks ago.  Dr. Giggles was our home's Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees or Cropsey, and that still makes me smile. 

Night of the Living Dead

The VHS Tape shown above demands your attention.  First of all, anyone who's worth their weight in horror immediately realizes that the image that has been chosen - completely spoils the final moments of the movie.  Then they might notice that they even spelled Duane Jones' name wrong on the cover.  I'm laughing about that little yellow spot that denotes the guarantee on the 1986 VHS release of Romero's film, and the back of the box promises a "lifetime commitment" that you can call 1-800-VHS-Tape for details of.  Oh, and the blurb on the back of the box reads EXACTLY as follows:

"Possibly the greatest low-budget film of all time filled with non-stop action. From the opening sequence, in which Judith O'Dea is terrorized by the first living corpse in the twilight cemetery, to the last slow dissolves and pans of still pictures, depicting the hero's death, the film is filled with ghoulish undertow that pauses only now and then on the thread-line to reality."

I'm sorry you guys, but I just got really distracted by that blurb. It's....so bad.  Does that make sense to anyone else?

OK, back on topic.  This VHS tape.  This VHS tape may have been in my parents' VHS cabinet as long as the rest of the trinity.  Yet I was strictly told that I COULD NOT watch it. So I didn't. I told you guys I was a good kid. Now do you believe me?  I'd like to say that I didn't watch it because I was that respectful of my parents - never mind the fact that I snuck several viewings of my dad's copy of Brian De Palma's Body Double as soon as I realized what boobs were - but honestly I was kind of terrified of this movie. If they were that adamant that I couldn't watch it - it must be the scariest thing ever, right?

I'm pretty sure I saw the remake on Monstervision before I finally got the guts to put this VHS tape in the player. The spoiler on the video cover wasn't a big deal, because my dad had already explained the differences in the endings when we watched the remake with Joe Bob Briggs.  Heck, when I finally did put in the VHS, I'm pretty sure I was like 16 and my parents came home with groceries with like 6 minutes left in the movie and started yelling for help and I had to pause right when it was about to blow up.  Night of the Living Dead and I were just not meant to have a perfect meeting.

Did I love the movie anyway? Of course I did! It's bloody brilliant, and the hype and the distractions and the stupid VHS package only make me love it more.  The anticipation was worth everything that followed, and watching Night of the Living Dead for the first time was a key moment in my life as a horror fan no matter how it happened.

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Did I got long winded there? Man, I got long winded there.  Apologies to those who don't like rambling incoherence, but these are the memories of horror that give me goosebumps.  It wasn't the introduction to horror films that most had, and it wasn't always the best way to meet horror.  In fact, those last three experiences would almost push most people to avoid horror movies.  But these movies got to me at the right moment and it all just came together perfectly for me.

And now it's your turn - what movies got you in to horror?  How did you learn to love cheesy goodness or overwhelming zombies or big green gill-men?  Hit up the comments below, and then comeback next week for a the How The Mike Met Horror finale, in which i will present a "grab bag" selection of the other stuff that helped me fall in love with horror films.  

Until then, keep watching horror movies and having an awesome October!

The Mike's Top 50 Horror Movies Countdown: #44 - Creature from the Black Lagoon

Previously on the Countdown: Number 50 - Happy Birthday to Me  Number 49 - Prince of Darkness Number 48 - House on Haunted Hill  Number 47 - The Monster Squad  Number 46 - Hellraiser Number 45 - The Fog

Creature from the Black Lagoon

(1954, Dir. by Jack Arnold.)

Why It's Here:

Though Universal likes to lump it in with movies that are 15-25 years older, Creature from the Black Lagoon is not really the same kind of film as Dracula, Frankenstein, or The Invisible Man.  What it is, however, is a prime example of the monster horror that filled the 1950s.  Pretty much everything in the movie takes a backseat to the title creature, a good old fashioned man-in-suit that still manages to send chills up my spine.

The Moment That Changes Everything:

Late in the film, the creature advances toward the camera, eyes wide open.  Though it's easy to see now that this was just a gimmick for the film (which was shot in 3-D back when 3-D was cool), that one shot etched itself into my mind at a young age.

It Makes a Great Double Feature With:

Director Jack Arnold is one of the heroes of '50s genre cinema - The Incredible Shrinking Man is pretty much one of the best movies ever - and it only seems fair to pair Creature with another of his monster flicks.  I think the giant spider epic Tarantula sounds like a good pick here.

What It Means To Me:

One third of what I like to call my "Horror Birth Trilogy" (actually I just made that term up to explain the first three horror movies I was exposed to as a kid), Creature from the Black Lagoon and I went through a dry spell when I was in my teenage years.  But when I went back to the film as a young adult, I couldn't help finding myself right back in that state of wonder that kept me glued to the screen as a kid.  Sure, it's easy to point out the flaws in the film, but there's something truly iconic about this monster flick that keeps it near and dear to my heart at all times.

FMWL Indie Spotlight - El Monstro Del Mar

(2010, Dir. by Stuart Simpson.)

If you think a movie with a poster like the one on the left - utilizing phrases like "dangerous vixens" and "ancient evil" and "blood bath" and a picture of a smoking punk gal on the hood of a car and Grindhouse-esque cast photos - sounds like fun, you'll probably have fun with El Monstro Del Mar. 

Three ladies who enjoy tattoos, small outfits, and killing make their way to a relatively secluded spot on the Australian coast, where their attempts to relax and have fun are abruptly interrupted by a series of harsh warnings from an old man and, eventually, a terror from the sea.  These bad-to-the-bone women do not back away from a challenge, and - along with a prim and proper local teenager who they aim to corrupt - they end up fighting for survival against a tentacled monstro.

And that's really about it. I could try to dig into subplots about the characters' sexualities and the relationship between 17 year old Hannah and the three buxom bastardettes, but to do so would miss the point of the quick little film by director Stuart Simpson.  Yes, there's an obvious commentary about these three women, who spend the first two acts partying, drinking, and snorting after offing two men in the stylish opening scene. That opening is a really cool sequence that goes from black-and-white - surely meant to invoke memories of beach party films of the 1950s - to color as the violence begins.  The plot and dialogue similarities to classic horror/sci-fi end pretty quickly (I can't remember any swamp creature movies of that era in which characters were called homosexual slurs or had as many tattoos as a modern NBA team), but the tone of the film stays in tune with horror films of the past. 

The film continues to be slightly derivative in the scenes when the monster does show up, which are reminiscent of the gore you'd see in low budget films of the early '80s. The creature work is very raw but it's effective and makes for a pretty manic finale.  Fans of films like the ones Roger Corman produced at that time - Humanoids from the Deep is the easy comparison - will feel right at home with this creature, which mixes low-budget practical effects with what appears to be a touch of CGI.  The effects are probably the best the budget could manage, and there's at least one gory moment late in the film - you'll know it when you see it - that is a top notch horror film "money shot".

At just over 70 minutes, Simpson doesn't waste too much time building characters or adding subplots - but I'm not sure that's necessary at all here.  All of the main cast members do their jobs well, which is especially impressive when I learned that all four of the female leads - Nelli Scarlet, Karli Madden, Kate Watts and Kyrie Capri - have this film as their first professional credit.  Each of the girls seem at home in the film, and play well off of the more seasoned Norman Yemm, an old man who does a good job as the film's "Crazy Ralph".

I didn't really need to say anything I did in the last few paragraphs - I suppose it was nice of me to confirm the details of the film - because I summed El Monstro Del Mar up perfectly in the first sentence of this review.  It's a lot of fun.  It's not high art, it won't be mistaken for a Hollywood production, and it's barely long enough to even be called a movie - but it's exactly what the advertising says it is.  If you're looking for a deeply terrifying film or a horror movie that comments on life or society or anything else you probably aren't looking for El Monstro Del Mar.  If you want to sit back and grin at a silly bit of carnage for just over an hour, then you'll probably have just as much fun as I did - if not more - with El Monstro Del Mar.

El Monstro Del Mar will be released on DVD by Breaking Glass Pictures on February 28th, and the disc looks to be packed with extras (there are even a couple of short films, one of which has the eye-catching title ACID SPIDERS!).  For more info on the film before then, make sure to check out the official site or the Facebook page, and of course check out the trailer below.

Supremely Cheesy Cinema, Vol 4: Slithis

There are those who tell you not to judge a book by its cover, and who probably also would recommend that you don't judge a movie by its cover.  Those people obviously never glanced at the cover art for Spawn of the Slithis (or simply, as the poster and DVD case say, Slithis).  With its glorious combination of a) guy in monster suit; b) a William Castle-y warning about needing a Slithis Survival Kit (hopefully produced by Acme!) ; c) cheesy tagline; and (most importantly) d) a 1970s baseball jersey font - I conceded quickly that the cover established Slithis as the greatest film ever created.

In fact, the cover makes me want a pet Slithis and a shirt that looks like this for each of us.

But after watching Slithis, I'm relatively certain it's not the greatest film ever created.  There's still an ever so minuscule chance I'm wrong, but Slithis ended up being kind of not great.  Possibly even bad.

As you can guess, Slithis is the tale of a mutated monster who is born of nuclear waste.  Actually I think he's the product of a Frankensteinan doctor who was trying to create a living organic mud, or something, according to the film.  Somehow, a bland guy with a curly fro and his woman named Jeff become enlightened to Slithis' existence by a stoner friend after a bunch of killings make the news.  The great city of Venice - which is shot with a murky lens that makes it look more like Detroit or Pittsburgh - and its police officers believe the killings to be cult related, and start to interrogate "unconventional" groups around town during a brief montage of hippies being accosted.  But our bland hero Wayne, played by Alan Blanchard, is on the track of Slithis.

We don't meet the Slithis itself until about a half hour into the 85 minute flick, as the flick only gives us a few fish-vision sequences and scaly shadows during initial attacks.  Thankfully, the film gives us a lot of things to ponder as we wait for the green man-in-suit (played by someone named Win Condict) to show up.  My notes from the first act of the film included the following riveting developements.

• Oh, sure, they have to make the fat kid throw the frisbee too far.  That's such typical movie fat-cism.
• When it comes to snacks, hobos are to '70s movie monsters as Jell-O is to humans.  There's always room for 'em.
• Giant falafel sandwiches?!
• There's big hair and mustaches all over the place here.
• That Gabe Kaplan lookin' dude has a large framed headshot between two mood candles.  Classic.

Like I said, it's a pretty riveting film from the getgo.

OK, I lied.  It's kind of an excruciating film from the getgo.  All the actors are stiff and boring, the plot is completely spelled out in dialogue, and the film is patched together in a standard manner that provides few moments that are visually interesting.  And by few, it might actuall by none.  There's a fun moment when our emotionless hero has to fend off this wild-haired, stammering, mad scientist of a police detective with only his words, but this scene mostly works because the dude playing the detective clearly knows he's getting paid no matter how ridiculous he acts.

The missing hobo part of the story provides a little bit of intrigue and reminded me slightly of C.H.U.D. down the line, but these scenes are mostly used as failed comic relief and filler to give Wayne information that could lead him to Slithis.  The film takes a Jaws twist in the final act as Wayne and friends take to the sea to fight the evolved bit of toxic waste (on no less than a boat named CREATION!), but the action is pretty standard here and doesn't provide any scares or thrills.

The creature itself is slightly amusing, and is probably the best thing about the film.  The Slithis monster fits well into its spot between The Creature from the Black Lagoon and the Humanoids from the Deep, but both of those films had more going on than this one does.  Without inventive direction or cheesy comedy or characters that don't resemble cardboard cutouts, Slithis fails to entertain like the classy Creature or the sleazy Humanoids.  What we're left with is a b-monster movie that feels like it should have been made for TV.

I guess I should take this as a lesson learned about cover judging...but that cover is fantastic.  I regret nothing!