Today's Things: The "Manborgs, Vampires, and Twins" Edition

You guys, I'm tired of being boring. I feel like 2013 has been one big long boring year here at FMWL. And that sucks. I could make a bunch of excuses - work sucks, writing about horror movies four days a week exhausts a lot of topics, I'm just lazy - but none of them would actually matter. It's not why I don't do things that's important, it's that I do something about it.

Totally unrelated, yet important, checklist.

When thinking about my own writing and what the heck I'm doing, I came to a realization. I love writing reviews and being as serious as I can be (which isn't that serious, but that's beside the point), but the most fun I've ever had writing about movies - save a few of my favorite posts here at FMWL - was more than ten years ago when a friend asked me to write a DVD column on his site and I turned it into a random series of thoughts that I slapped together off the top of my head while doing what I call "winging it." It wasn't high art and it wasn't always important, but it was carefree and fun and it always put a smile on my face. And, as you might have guessed, that's what I'm doing right now.

That's not to say I plan on getting rid of reviews or the Midnight Movie of the Week or any of the other stuff I do when I'm feeling inspired. But there are so many times when I just want to put some thoughts out there and I get caught up in the how and the what and then I'm like HEY THE MIKE JUST FREAKING TYPE IT. So that will be what I do every once in a while in posts like this one, which will carry the simple title "Today's Things."

(Yes, I thought of that name all by myself. I'm a gosh darn Einstein.)

(Oh, and I might ramble on a bit here. Just roll with it. Or go read something else. Your move, creep.)

Thing I'm Loving on Blu-Ray

I'm not sure if I've said it enough over the last year, but Shout Factory's horror centric new wing, Scream Factory, is one of the best things to happen to horror fans in ages.  Case in point: This week's release of the R-rated Hammer Films offering The Vampire Lovers. Released in 1970, this Dracula-less film is a showcase for the voluptuous and talented Ingrid Pitt, a horror star who must be seen by all fans of romantic vampire tales.

While the film itself is not one of Hammer's best offerings, it stands up as a nice adaptation of the classic tale of Carmilla, which predated Bram Stoker's Dracula and pretty much invented the lesbian vampire stereotype that became a staple of European horror in this era. Pitt is the primary reason to check the film out, and its use of nudity and sexuality - while mild by modern standards - is out of character and risque for hammer. Advertising for the film that has been reproduced (twice on the blu-ray packaging and once as an on-disc disclaimer) boldly states "Not for the mentally immature!", which to me seems like a reminder that there's artful desires behind this surprising film.

(By the way, I always give a movie extra kudos if a villain uses a fake name that is an acronym of their infamous name. Here we get Carmilla pretending to be someone named Mircalla, and me smiling a lot due to this fact.)

As has been the case for most of their releases, Scream Factory put a lot of effort into this release.  The blu-ray package (unlike many of their releases, this is NOT a blu/DVD combo pack) offers plenty of extras - I'm stoked to see the commentary by director Roy Ward Baker, even though I'm pretty sure it's carried over from the old DVD release - and the price is even a bit lower than most of the other Scream Factory titles. Fans of Hammer or European vampire flicks of the '70s should definitely find this one.

Thing That's Not Horror That I'm Watching While Writing

Broken Arrow. Look, I know there's a good John Woo and a bad John Woo, and I know that this is bad John Woo. But I still find a lot of enjoyment in just how ridiculously macho this showdown between John Travolta and Christian Slater - neither of whom are often charged with being ridiculously macho - is. There was a place and a time in the '90s when this was comfort cinema to me, and it's still welcome now - it's just not welcome as often

Bonus points for Samantha Mathis. Redheads, man.

 (By the way, I dog on the '90s all the time - but I gotta admit they've grown on me. I even like a lot of '90s music now! And I even hated '90s music then. Today a teenager I know called Pearl Jam classic rock and it took every ounce of my being to stop me from shouting "WHOA YOU JUST BACK THE FRAK UP!" and going on a rant. Restraint - Thy name is Mike.)

So yeah, Bad John Woo still has its moments. Unless it's Mission Impossible II. Then it just makes me sad.

Thing I'm Not Sure About Yet, But Which Makes Me Chuckle

When a movie's called Manborg, I take notice. And production crew Astron-6 already had my attention thanks to Father's Day, one of the most obscene and ridiculous (and also fun) movies released in 2012.  But Father's Day was one of those movies that I never managed to write a review of, because it's just kind of difficult to piece together a legitimate commentary on such a random movie. You know how sometimes you see something bizarre and you're like "Well...that happened." and you know you had fun but all attempts to explain why you had fun don't make sense?  That's where I was at when I saw Father's Day.

That's kind of where I'm at after Manborg too, although it's a different kind of feeling this time. Manborg - the tale of a man who is reincarnated as a cyborg, naturally - is a more cartoonish and less vulgar animal than Astron-6's first film. It's still bloody and gory and inappropriate in its own ways, but it's more playful and maybe even more fun than Father's Day was. Maybe. I'm not really sure. Father's Day was more...ummmm....artistic? Maybe? Heck, I don't know. The point is that explanations of Astron-6 films are really pointless - if you like low-budget retro/grindhouse goofiness, these movies are for you. If you don't, you'll hate 'em. Regardless of your opinion, in ten years we'll be talking about Astron-6 the same way we talk about Troma films now.

Back to Manborg - I might review it soon, but I'm not sure that review will make much sense. I will say that Mina - the blue-haired anime-inspired heroine - and #1 Man - the poorly dubbed martial arts expert who's presumably from the far east - had me cackling all the time and made the 72 minute film worthwhile. That might be all I need to say for a review, actually. Let's move on...or you could watch the Manborg trailer and catch up with me in a minute.

Thing That's A Random Rant

Those of you who know me or follow me into the social media world probably know that I'm a pretty big sports fan at times. And I was randomly thinking about horror movies today and how lots of horror movies promote lots of stereotypes and I was surprised by how I never thought a lot about athletes in horror movies.

The catch, of course, is that horror movies don't often give us much to think about when a character is written as an athlete. For starters, "idiot male who womanizes often" is often synonymous with "football player" in horror scripts, a distinction that is occasionally deserved but a bit of an oversimplification. I mean, I was a teenage football player, but I still learned how to read and write and how to not treat women like objects and how to never have a girlfriend - all of which are completely the opposite of what we see from "athletes" in horror movies.  I am not the norm, and I'm proud of that, but I really don't think that the type of football guy shown in these movies is the norm either.

I always assumed this guy died because of his hairstyle.

But hey, let's leave football out of this right now. Why is that always the example? Where's the hockey players and the basketball players and the golfers? And where are all the female athletes? American schools have laws which require equal amounts of sports programs for males and females, but how often does a female character in a horror movie mention their sports experience? Now, there are naturally some outliers - would you believe that PIECES, which features a character who's a female tennis star, is one of the more progressive horror movies in this regard???? - but I'm struggling to pull them off the top of my head.  In fact, this topic might require more thought and its own post.

What say you, dear readers? Got any examples of athletes in horror that stick out to you? Have similar complaints about this stereotype or similar stereotypes in horror films? I know it's one of the least important ones out there - we should probably deal with how terrible women get treated in slasher films before we focus on football stars - but it's something that caught my attention and inspired me to ponder.  What do you think?

Thing That's A Random Shout Out

Belated happy birthday to Jen and Sylvia Soska, better known as the Twisted Twins, who celebrated a birthday on Monday. They were the team behind Dead Hooker in a Trunk, which was one of the first indie horror films I reviewed for this site and a goofy favorite that still makes me laugh.  Their follow-up, American Mary, will make its US debut on home video in June, and if you don't think I've got that pre-ordered than you don't think my name is The Mike. Can't wait to see what these talented ladies have up their sleeve next!

Thing At The End

Coming soon to FMWL - William Friedkin's new memoir, a yet-to-be-named Midnight Movie of the Week, and a review of the Guillermo Del Toro produced Mama on blu-ray. Plus I've got a stack of Pam Grier DVDs sitting next to me that are just begging for some one on one time.  So, until next time, here's a thing from YouTube. Be well, Midnight Warriors!

Midnight Movie of the Week #151 - Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell

If you're The Mike - and, in this case, I am - and you hear about a movie about a body snatcher from hell, you take notice.  And then, when you hear that that movie is a trippy Japanese production of the late '60s that was part of its studio's response to the box office success of Big G in Japan - you stand at attention.

Which brings us to Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell, which is a bizarre treat for lovers of original horror.  It's a film that blends plenty of horror staples into one unique package, and any comparisons to Godzilla (or other kaiju films) can be dismissed after the country of origin is discussed. Unlike many of the most popular sci-fi/horror films from Japan in this era, Goke focuses on a much smaller monster - but that doesn't make the scope of the film any smaller.

To simplify the film's plot is to do it an injustice, but I just have to say - yes, that is a blob.  This is a blob movie.  But not like The Blob.  It seems that Goke - short for Gokemidoro - is a parasitic entity who enjoys opening up folks' foreheads and oozing his way into their body, therein "snatching" control over them. As for the "Hell" thing, I think that's just said for effect. I don't believe Gokemidoro comes from the actual Hell, because I don't think you can get here from there in an orange spaceship. (If your religious beliefs disagree with my assessment, then I apologize for the offense. Please let me know what your Hell has to do with orange spaceships, I love learning!)

Anyway, Goke introduces us to a small group of people on an Air Japan flight - and if you think the flight looks eerily similar to something from Kill Bill you're not mistaken; Tarantino loves this flick - which flies into a red sky, sees some orange lights, and crash lands in an uninhabited valley.  The survivors survive (obviously), but that's just a convenient way to put this odd group of characters - including, but not limited to - a psychiatrist, a politician, and an American army wife - in Goke's path.

Strewn along Goke's path are scenes involving bickering and distrust, as well as some solid blobby mind-melding. The film finds several unique ways to tell us about Goke, and a lot of intrigue comes from the way this invader is portrayed.  There's a little bit of everything in this story, but none of Goke's trappings are just like something you've seen in another sci-fi film. We get a blob, we get body snatching, and we even get a bit of possession/assimilation. But they aren't the same things you know.  I kept trying and trying and trying to make the connection between the film and John Carpenter's The Thing stick in my head, but I couldn't do it. Goke is it's own animal.

I am, however, somewhat convinced that Mr. Carpenter had seen Goke, because my favorite moment in the film mimics one of my favorite moments in Carpenter's filmography.  The sequence in which the omnipresent voice of the Gokemidoro shares an ominous warning to the survivors by possessing a female survivor made me think fondly of Prince of Darkness, as the woman's hair billows in the wind and a voice - a voice that is clearly not her own - relays a message that is meant to signal the end for the people.  It's a moment that sent chills down my spine, and it really hammered home the meaning of these strange events.

Perhaps the best thing about Goke, The Body Snatcher is that it's one of the rare horror films that seems to keep escalating as it goes on.  There are a couple of minor lulls, but every time I thought I had Goke figured out it shook my pursuit and sped to a new height.  It's not going to scare anyone's socks off, but it's haunting enough to keep you interested and man, does it end with a bang.  Goke is a new favorite of mine, but I imagine I'll be going back to its odd world often, and I think y'all should experience Goke's world for yourself too.

(BTW, if you're reading this before 11/25/12, you can watch Goke, The Body Snatcher from Hell for FREE on Hulu. It's streaming for free right about HERE. So watch it!)

How The Mike Met Horror, Volume 3 - The Movies

How The Mike Met Horror, Volume 1 - The Books

How The Mike Met Horror, Volume 2 - The Television

While the first two parts of this series may have been familiar to most horror folks of my generation, the movies that sent me to where I am as a horror fan will be more familiar to the kind folks that read this here blog.  Most of the movies I'm about to talk about have been covered here numerous times, so coming up with something relevant and useful to say in what follows has been a strong challenge for me.  But as I look at this list of horror movies that inspired me in my path toward horror, I am taken aback by how totally random these movies seem to be. 

I've covered some of the movies that inspired me in my currently running Top 50 Horror Movies Countdown - and I've chosen not to repeat my position on many of the films on that list.  I'd be completely wrong to negate the impact films like The Shining, Fright Night, Happy Birthday to Me, and others had on me, but there's something about each of the movies I'm about to mention that just feels incredibly special to me.  I know I'm not the only person that likes them, but it's kind of like these movies just happened to be in the right place at the right time for me.  And that time and place was, for lack of a more intellectual word, awesome.

(If you missed the explanation behind this series, you should know that all credit for this idea belongs to the wonderful Mrs. Christine Hadden over at Fascination With Fear, who does lists better than anyone in the Western Hemisphere. For that, I salute her.)

The Mike's Horror Trinity

In January of 2009, From Midnight, With Love was born. And when I started putting this little blog together, dreaming that someday someone might read the ramblings I had to offer and maybe even consider an opinion of mine as a reason to check out a genre film, I put together a simple bio for the sidebar of the site that explained what I stood for as a genre fan.  That same bio still sits in the right hand column of this site - and you can still see these three films listed there as the movies that awakened the monster that I now am.

I can't remember all the details, but I'm pretty sure Phantom of the Opera came to me first.  I remember being told about silent movies and realizing that this was kind of like reading a book with pictures, and I don't know if I had the attention span to finish the whole movie, but I do remember getting to the part where the unmasking happens and I remember being really freakin' excited.  Whenever people ask me about my first horror movie, I mention this one.

Creature from the Black Lagoon came next, I think.  I remember being in awe of the green dude on the cover when I first had the VHS tape brought to me, and I remember taking it to a friend's house when I was in second grade to watch during a sleepover. It didn't go as well as I wanted it to - I'm pretty sure I watched the whole thing alone - but at least I was in love with it.  Was this the first time I tried to push someone I know to watch a horror movie against their will? It may very well have been.

Considering that it's the one of these three that I mention the most, it's slightly funny to me that I don't have any vivid memories of my childhood encounter with The Blob outside of the question mark that pops on screen at the ending.  I didn't fall as in love with The Blob as I am now until a little later in my life - but I do remember thinking it was a ton of fun and talking about The Blob all the time whenever I had a reason to make a reference to it. (And sometimes when I didn't.)

As I look at these three VHS tapes now - and that's them, in their original glory, as they look tonight - I am completely in awe of how much what these three movies meant to me before I was even 10 years old. Maybe it was a brilliant design by my parents, or maybe it was just dumb luck - but whatever the reason, I can't help feeling that they gave me the three perfect films to push me to the love of horror I have today.

The Monster Squad

Remember that time in part one of this series when I talked about "those orange back monster books from the library?  (If not, you should go read it and stuff.) Well, The Monster Squad was the film adaptation of those books - and the library had it too.  Again, this was one of those things that kind of got lost in my memory except for parts - "Wolfman's got gnards!" is part of my philosophy on life, obviously - but it was my gateway to the monsters that I hadn't really seen outside of those books.  Fred Dekker got me in the door with his monsters-for-kids film, which is probably exactly what he wanted to do - and I applaud him for that.

Pumpkinhead

There's a very simple and not very exciting reason that Pumpkinhead is on this list.  When I was 8 or 9, I was ready for all the "scary" movies I could get.  I'd seen the trinity, I'd seen the Monster Squad, I'd seen Dracula, and I wanted more. And I thought a monster with a pumpkin for a head sounded like a creepy idea, for reasons that I will elaborate on next week.  Well.....

It was NOT a good idea for little me.  I have a vivid memory of about 12 seconds of Pumpkinhead carnage when I was a kid.  And I remember being instantly shocked and terrified and completely uninterested in seeing any more of that. Did I act cool? Yeah, I was a cool little pimp. But I was terrified. I went away from the screen and I did not come back.  I wasn't completely ready to go where I wanted to go, but I learned from the experience.

Clownhouse

There it sits, alongside the plastic protector from Freedom Video Superstore in Marshalltown, Iowa that protected it (poorly, as you can see) for over 10 years in store and over 10 years in my hands.  On sentimental value alone, this would be the absolute first thing that I would grab and run to safety if my lair was on fire. 

I've long ago written a detailed rant about how much Clownhouse meant to my sister and I as we became old enough to watch horror movies.  But I couldn't talk about movies that contributed to my horror love without Clownhouse. I must have watched it 50 times between the ages of 10 and 15, and I always knew it wasn't a good movie.  But I loved it.  And it led to every bad horror movie I've loved, and every horror movie I've watched and shouted at with friends, and every stupid grin I've ever given during a stupid movie.  All of that can be traced back to how much fun I my family had with Clownhouse.

When that Freedom Video store went out of business, my mother rushed to town and ran through the store to grab it before anyone else even had a chance.  You know how that watch was Bruce Willis' birthright in Pulp Fiction? Clownhouse is like that to my sister and I.

Dr. Giggles

Speaking of stupid and bad, there's Dr. Giggles.  I have to list Dr. Giggles here, for similar reasons to Clownhouse.  We didn't watch this movie religiously, nor did we necessarily like the movie, but Dr. Giggles became a cult figure in our house very quickly when we first encountered him.

And so it came to pass that my father would torture my sister by cackling like Dr. Giggles. And it's still funny.  Heck, I'm pretty sure he somehow mentioned Dr. Giggles while she was in the hospital after giving birth a couple of weeks ago.  Dr. Giggles was our home's Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees or Cropsey, and that still makes me smile. 

Night of the Living Dead

The VHS Tape shown above demands your attention.  First of all, anyone who's worth their weight in horror immediately realizes that the image that has been chosen - completely spoils the final moments of the movie.  Then they might notice that they even spelled Duane Jones' name wrong on the cover.  I'm laughing about that little yellow spot that denotes the guarantee on the 1986 VHS release of Romero's film, and the back of the box promises a "lifetime commitment" that you can call 1-800-VHS-Tape for details of.  Oh, and the blurb on the back of the box reads EXACTLY as follows:

"Possibly the greatest low-budget film of all time filled with non-stop action. From the opening sequence, in which Judith O'Dea is terrorized by the first living corpse in the twilight cemetery, to the last slow dissolves and pans of still pictures, depicting the hero's death, the film is filled with ghoulish undertow that pauses only now and then on the thread-line to reality."

I'm sorry you guys, but I just got really distracted by that blurb. It's....so bad.  Does that make sense to anyone else?

OK, back on topic.  This VHS tape.  This VHS tape may have been in my parents' VHS cabinet as long as the rest of the trinity.  Yet I was strictly told that I COULD NOT watch it. So I didn't. I told you guys I was a good kid. Now do you believe me?  I'd like to say that I didn't watch it because I was that respectful of my parents - never mind the fact that I snuck several viewings of my dad's copy of Brian De Palma's Body Double as soon as I realized what boobs were - but honestly I was kind of terrified of this movie. If they were that adamant that I couldn't watch it - it must be the scariest thing ever, right?

I'm pretty sure I saw the remake on Monstervision before I finally got the guts to put this VHS tape in the player. The spoiler on the video cover wasn't a big deal, because my dad had already explained the differences in the endings when we watched the remake with Joe Bob Briggs.  Heck, when I finally did put in the VHS, I'm pretty sure I was like 16 and my parents came home with groceries with like 6 minutes left in the movie and started yelling for help and I had to pause right when it was about to blow up.  Night of the Living Dead and I were just not meant to have a perfect meeting.

Did I love the movie anyway? Of course I did! It's bloody brilliant, and the hype and the distractions and the stupid VHS package only make me love it more.  The anticipation was worth everything that followed, and watching Night of the Living Dead for the first time was a key moment in my life as a horror fan no matter how it happened.

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Did I got long winded there? Man, I got long winded there.  Apologies to those who don't like rambling incoherence, but these are the memories of horror that give me goosebumps.  It wasn't the introduction to horror films that most had, and it wasn't always the best way to meet horror.  In fact, those last three experiences would almost push most people to avoid horror movies.  But these movies got to me at the right moment and it all just came together perfectly for me.

And now it's your turn - what movies got you in to horror?  How did you learn to love cheesy goodness or overwhelming zombies or big green gill-men?  Hit up the comments below, and then comeback next week for a the How The Mike Met Horror finale, in which i will present a "grab bag" selection of the other stuff that helped me fall in love with horror films.  

Until then, keep watching horror movies and having an awesome October!

The Mike's Top 50 Horror Movies Countdown: #17 - The Blob

Previously on the Countdown: Number 50 - Happy Birthday to Me  Number 49 - Prince of Darkness  Number 48 - House on Haunted Hill  Number 47 - The Monster Squad  Number 46 - Hellraiser  Number 45 - The Fog  Number 44 - Creature From the Black Lagoon  Number 43 - Zombie  Number 42 - Tales from the Crypt  Number 41 - Bubba Ho-Tep  Number 40 - Phantom of the Paradise  Number 39 - Dog Soldiers Number 38 - Pontypool  Number 37 - Dark Water  Number 36 - Army of Darkness Number 35 - The Legend of Hell House  Number 34 - Poltergeist  Number 33 - The Abominable Dr. Phibes  Number 32 - The Phantom of the Opera  Number 31 - The House of the Devil   Number 30 - Evil Dead II  Number 29 - Dead of Night  Number 28 - Carnival of Souls  Number 27 - Nosferatu  Number 26 - Candyman  Number 25 - The Texas Chain Saw Massacre  Number 24 - Horror of Dracula  Number 23 - The Wicker Man  Number 22 - Suspiria  Number 21 - The Omen  Number 20 - Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told  Number 19 - Rosemary's Baby  Number 18 - The Devil Rides Out

The Blob

(1958, Dir. by Irvin S. Yeaworth, Jr.)

 Why It's Here:

It's kind of impossible for me to come up with a logical explanation for this. Heck, I just dropped this bad boy into the list ahead of the likes of Rosemary's Baby, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Poltergeist, and more.  I have spent plenty of words on The Blob in my day, often discussing how much I love the teenage rebellion aspect of the film and the amorphous villain who reeks of simplicity, but can I argue that The Blob is a more well made and or scarier film than any of those I listed above? No, not really. So why's The Blob up here? Ummm...let me get back to you on that one.

The Moment That Changes Everything:
I've often talked about how the small town family plot is my favorite thing about The Blob these days - the film has as much in common with Rebel Without a Cause as it does with Godzilla.  But the film's horror hook - which is topped by the grand scale (for its budget, that is) movie theater sequence - is must see stuff for me.

It Makes a Great Double Feature With:
Most of the time, when I mention how much I love The Blob, people are like "Oh yeah man, Shawnee Smith is hot!" Or sometimes they're like "Oh, Darabont co-wrote that and gave it a great edge!" Or sometimes they're like "What's up with Kevin Dillon's hair?" And I'm like "THAT'S THE REMAKE, YOU TWIT!"  Seriously, it's a severe horror bugaboo of mine. But hey...I'll admit that the remake is pretty good. Just stop dismissing the original in my presence.  Watch The Blob with 1988's The Blob. You'll thank me later.

What It Means To Me:
Well, it means enough for me to ignore its (numerous) shortcomings and rank it among my twenty favorite horror movies, doesn't it?  I know in my heart that The Blob isn't a great film. I've known it's not even necessarily good since I was 8.  But I smile like a mad man every time I think about The Blob. If we can have popcorn movies in comedy and action and other genres, I can have my beloved popcorn sci-fi/horror classic with Steve(n) McQueen as an old teenager and a plastic jelly monster, right? I'm saying right. The Blob might not be the biggest or best, but it's one of the most important horror movies ever to me and I still kind of feel bad that I'm ranking it this low. I megalove The Blob that much.

Midnight Top Five - The "Have a Little Faith in the Teenagers" Edition

If you've ever watched a horror movie, you've probably been told that teenagers are pretty much worthless at life.  It's true to an extent - if teenagehood was Mass Effect, you could say I took the paragon path all the way and I was still a stupid idiot 97% of the time - but people who are jump to conclusions often miss the good parts of what's going on in these mostly undeveloped human people.

But horror movies are more wrong than most people when it comes to teenagers.  They show the worst parts of teen behavior, and often punish the kids for it harshly.  Look, I get it. It was a message to change their ways and it lost its meaning and now it just happens, sort of like how people used to say the pledge of allegiance in school because they meant it and now they just do it because they're told to and they're trained to and they don't even think about the words they're saying.

But I'm feeling hopeful tonight.  I feel like taking the world by the ears and shaking at and shouting "Hey! There have to be good teenagers out there or there wouldn't be people who grew up to be good people!"  I'm not sure if my shouting would be entirely true, but I'm trying to have faith here.  Heck, I'm so faithful that I might even set this post to some soulful Joe Cocker.

Yeah, I went there.  Now lets take a look at five reminders that teenagers aren't always the downfall of society, and can in fact be really friggin' awesome beacons of hope for the future and stuff.

Charlotte "Charlie" Newton

Played by Teresa Wright in Shadow of a Doubt

(1943, Dir. by Alfred Hitchcock.)

Charlie wasn't always the picture of virtue - that whole romance with the like 40 year old cop was really weird! - but she's perhaps the earliest perfect example of a teenage character who is given power over her world in a dark world.  We're not talking Nancy Drew here, we're talking about a normal girl in a normal town with a normal family who worships her seemingly normal Uncle who just might be an abnormal killer of rich widows.

Teresa Wright did all kinds of great things with this character.  To start, there's an incredible streak of altruism that runs through the character, who really fits into the film's pre-World War II setting as an ambitious and driven young woman.  She seems to just believe so much in the world around her, including her suspicious uncle, and her hope for the world is pretty contagious.  But when things start to turn in the final scenes of the film and Charlie begins to take a stand - that's when the character really blossoms.  She shows an ability to grow and adapt, and sets the tone for hundreds of female teenage characters who would follow her in genre cinema.

Steven Andrews, Jane Martin, Mooch and the Boys

Played by Steve McQueen, Aneta Corsaut, James Bonnet, Robert Fields, Anthony Franke in The Blob

(1958, Dir. by Irvin S. Yeaworth, Jr.)

I've wasted so many words on The Blob - this one's my favorite collection of them - but I never get old of the ridiculously wonderful '50s teenagers of The Blob. And yes, I'll get it out of the way right now - they're not actually teenagers. The actors are older than that. I know.

As the teenagers mobilize in the name of what's right - and what might actually save humanity - I think my favorite thing about the group is the dopey Mooch.  With his creepy hair and his red sweater, James Bonnet's character is the personification of the wholesome values The Blob wants us to see in these characters.  Along for the ride and always willing to jump into the fight with a CO2 fire extinguisher, these kids represent their era perfectly and always make me smile.

Dennis Guilder

Played by John Stockwell in Christine

(1983, Dir. by John Carpenter.)

The most fascinating thing about John Carpenter's adaptation of Stephen King's killer car novel, to me, has always been the central relationship between the two lead teenage male characters.  On one hand, you have Arnie Cunningham, played by Keith Gordon, a bullied nerd who seems to have little going for him on the popularity side of things.  On the other hand, we have Dennis, a football star who seemingly could be really popular - yet he hangs out with Arnie and turns down the advances of a young Kelly Preston.

Let me repeat that - he turns down the advances of a YOUNG KELLY PRESTON.

Though I still question his willingness to not have a fling with a young Kelly Preston, I adore how Dennis' character moves through the story.  As Arnie's mind becomes corrupted by that red demon on wheels, Dennis becomes the voice of reason.  He's a shockingly grounded young man for a high school star athlete, but the realization that characters like that exist shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone.  Dennis represents the good side of the teenage jock scene, and he does so quite well.

Nancy Thompson

Played by Heather Langenkamp in A Nightmare on Elm Street

(1984, Dir. by Wes Craven.)

This one really doesn't need many words.  I'm notoriously hard on A Nightmare on Elm Street because I hate the ending so much, but I will never deny the possibility that Nancy Thompson is the prototype for teenage heroines in horror.  If there's one thing Wes Craven can do well on a consistent basis (and it literally might be the only thing he can do consistently!) - the man can make a heroine who is smart and who is strong and who won't back down when it's time to stand up for herself.  And it all pretty much began with Nancy Thompson. 

Kirby Reed

Played by Hayden Panettiere in Scream 4

(2011, Dir. by Wes Craven.)

Speaking of Craven, we come to the Scream series - where female characters have varied from one end of the spectrum to another like a squirrel who takes antidepressants every other week. (Don't think about that last analogy for too long, it will break your brain.)

But when we get to Scream 4, we meet the female character who pretty much made every horror fan in the world fistpump with pride.  She's Kirby Reed, and she's played with surprising panache by Heroes alumni Hayden Panettiere.  I'm pretty sure no one expected this from the young girl, but she makes female horror nerd look fun, playing off her straight laced friends and the nerdy male cinephiles equally well.  She's the smart, normal, socially adjusted image that a lot of horror fans wish people saw more often - which is a big part of why so many horror fans loved her.

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There are probably a lot more wonderful teenagers in horror I've left out here, but this isn't a Midnight Top A Lot list.  It's a Top Five.  So please, Midnight Warriors, hit up the comments! Tell me who I missed, tell me who you love, tell me you love me - whatever you want to tell me.  (Maybe not the love me thing. It might get weird.)

In the meantime, have faith.  Because someday, the good teenagers are gonna be the old people who think there aren't any good teenagers, while we all watch from our retirement castles on Mars and laugh.  It'll be awesome.  (Or, we'll all turn into Crazy Ralph.  Which isn't bad either.)

The Mike's Top 11 Alien Invasion Films of 1950-2000

When my good buddy Russ of Dead End Drive-In asked me to participate in his Alien Invasion Weekend, I didn't even have to think about my response.  Russ asked me to cover some of my favorite alien invasion flicks made before the year 2000 (because we all know Y2K ended civilization back then, of course), and I did what I do: I made a list.

I'm being kind of picky on semantics here, and a couple of my very favorite sci-fi films ever - The Day the Earth Stood Still and Close Encounters of the Third Kind - are getting the shaft due to this.  Look, Gort wasn't here to take us out, he was just forced to get a little angry.  And those Close Encounters things? Heck, they were just curious.  Yes, these might be two of my five favorite sci-fi films, but I'm looking for good old fashioned destructive invaders here.

Also, I cheated several times on this list.  There are a few cases once in a while - though most horror fans won't believe me - where both original films and their remakes were awesome.  And I've lumped them together here so I can cover more of my favorite invasion flicks.  You like more awesome, don't you?

Honorable Mentions? Yeah, we got some honorable mentions for you.

Honorable Mention: War of the Worlds (1953), Earth vs. The Flying Saucers (1956), Mars Needs Women (1967), Superman II (1980), Night of the Creeps (1986), Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988), Independence Day (1996), The Faculty (1998)

Some notes on those Honorable Mentions:

• A lot of people will probably balk at the exclusion of War of the Worlds, Earth vs. The Flying Saucers, and Independence Day, which have a lot of great publicity and a lot of great special effects for their eras.  While each film features a pretty widespread invasion, I got a few more cerebral picks ahead of them. (And a couple that are much dumber too.)
• Sure, any Superman film could technically be an Alien Invasion film, but General Zod and his awkward friends are pretty much the best kind of invaders.  I won't quite kneel, but I'll give him some props.
• YOU GUYS! The Faculty is seriously underrated. There, I said it.

Now, let's see that list!

Number 11 - Bloodsuckers from Outer Space (1984)

Bloodsuckers from Outer Space is certainly one of those movies that is so bad that it's....bad.  But at the same time it's kind of not.  Heck,  the IMDB voters - who are generally the cruelest and most genre unfriendly people on our planet - even have given it a 5.2 out of ten rating.  A 5.2 on IMDB for a movie with these production values is like a Nobel Peace Prize for someone with Hitler's racial beliefs.  Anyway, Bloodsuckers from Outer Space is terribly silly, but it's got that odd feeling like this whole small town was in on the joke and everyone chipped in and made this goofy flick a ton of fun. So it's kind of awesome.

Number 10 - Not of this Earth (1957, 1988)

Speaking of silly, you won't find two filmmakers who are more open to cheese than Roger Corman and Jim Wynorski.  And the story behind Not of this Earth, featuring a nurse who works for an odd character who turns out to be an emissary from a distant land (and I don't mean Kansas), lends itself to their kind of cheese.  The former film is a black and white drive-in classic led by Paul "Marlboro Man" Birch, the latter is full of comedic turns and led by former porn star Traci Lords.  Both films are charming enough to hit this list, in their own ways.

Number 9 - The Arrival (1996)

It's probably not a good idea to put a Charlie Sheen film this close to one starring a porn star, but I'm gonna risk it.  The Arrival arrived (oof, that stung) early in the Summer of 1996 - just before Independence Day was released to much hype - and kind of fell on deaf ears throughout the world.  But director David Twohy's film is a pretty smart sci-fi chiller, with Sheen's Zane Zaminski (major bonus points for cool character name!) uncovering a secret signal and then battling wits with a dastardly Ron Silver (and you all should know just how much The Mike loves Ron Silver - it's a lot).  The action and the effects that big budget sci-fi flicks are known for aren't here, but I'll take it over its much bigger 1996 counterpart any day of the week.

Number 8 - The Hidden (1987)

I've written about The Hidden before, but it bears repeating that this might be the '80s coolest sci-fi flick.  The action packed story follows a creature that inhabits human bodies and gets a little silly when the special effects come into play, but the brisk pace keeps the film going so fast that you barely notice anything amiss.  The Hidden also capitalizes on political concerns of the '80s and seems to throw a huge middle finger at the culture of the time, particularly in ritzy Los Angeles. I can dig it.

Number 7 - Men in Black (1997)

The legendary guardians against all kinds of alien invasiony nonsense take form in Barry Sonnenfeld's summer blockbuster, and face off with a one alien wrecking crew: "The Bug", portrayed in human form by Vincent D'Onofrio.  Sure, the invasion is a secondary part of the film to Will Smith's evolution from cool dude to wise and cool dude, but it's still one of the most charming sci-fi comedies out there.  And Tommy Lee Jones' straight man opposite utter chaos is always welcome.

Number 6 - Invaders from Mars (1953, 1986)

One of the first invasion films to make a connection to the Cold War and communism, the original Invaders from Mars comes to the viewer from the perspective of a young boy who witnesses an invasion. The invasion that follows has the required amount of military involvement and parent manipulation, which helps the film overcome some problems in acting and direction.  Tobe Hooper's 1986 remake uses more comedy and more special effects, and is a good time-passer.

Number 5 - The Blob (1958)

Did you really think I wasn't gonna mention The Blob?  Sure, his (Or is it a her? Do Blobs even have genders? Are there more than one Blob? We never really know!) invasion was stopped pretty quickly by really old teenagers, but he wins plenty of style points for being one of the few amorphous invaders in film history.  And I love The Blob, so it's on the list.  NEXT.

Number 4 - Predator (1987)

I'm sure he wasn't voted "Most Likely to Blow Himself Up on Another Planet Because of an Austrian Lunkhead" when he graduated his planet's equivalent of high school, which makes the ill-fated invasion by the Predator all the more sad.  But his movie is still pretty amazing, so I'm willing to give some credit to the Predator for being the baddest humanoid one-man invasion crew ever.  He couldn't have predicted that he was going to run into Schwarzenegger, Weathers, and the rest of the bad-asses, and we can't hold that against him.

Number 3 - The Thing From Another World/The Thing (1951, 1982)

I'm probably undervaluing The Thing here, mostly because it wins almost every time I make a list.  Both versions of this story vary greatly, and both represent different kinds of invaders.  Much like the last two films, the invaders are slowed by factors outside their control - in these cases, location.  The original Thing gets bonus points for basically birthing the "watch the skies" craze of the '50s, while the remake gets bonus points for just being really awesome.

Number 2 - They Live (1988)

What if the invasion is already here?  That's the question asked - and answered by a nameless blue-collar worker - in They Live, which has has long been one of my favorite movies to talk about.  Like The Hidden, we get a look at how greed can be involved in an '80s Los Angeles invasion, but this time it's human greed taking the lead instead of alien greed.  I've spent a lot of words on how important I think They Live is before, so I'm just gonna let it tell its own story this time around.

Number 1 - Invasion of Body Snatchers/Body Snatchers (1956, 1978, 1993)

First things first - I'm not as wild about the '78 remake as everyone else is.  Yes, Sutherland and Nimoy.  No, it's not as scary as people say and the ending's kind of dumb.  And it's way too long.  It's good. It's not great.

That said, the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers is the definitive sci-fi paranoia epic.  From Kevin McCarthy's howling lead performance to the cool pod people effects, there's plenty to love about the movie that's spawned three remakes.  My favorite of those, as evidenced above, is Abel Ferrara's 1993 Body Snatchers. With a script by horror maestros Stuart Gordon and Larry Cohen, an ominous army base setting, and wonderful performances by the Gabrielle Anwar, Meg Tilly, and Forest Whitaker.

Though the flying saucers and little green men get the most headlines, it's the invaders that we can't easily see that provide the most chills and thrills for viewers.  Siegel knew that, and the story he created lives on - in many different tellings (though it's best we just don't mention The Invasion, isn't it?) - as my favorite alien invasion.

Except for maybe this one....

Book Review - Monsters: A Field Guide to Blood-Thirsty Beasts

It's football season again in America, which means there's an extra spring in The Mike's step.  More annoyingly, it also means that The Mike's Lair - which lies just down the road from his alma mater's football stadium, needs to be cleaned a little more often.  As I started to sweep up the remnants of the offseason from my living quarters this weekend, I couldn't help noticing how many books on genre flicks I happened to have lying around as reference materials.  Normally I only bring books to FMWL when some kind soul offers me an interesting and free piece of literature, but it's not fair for me to keep all these sources of knowledge to myself now, is it?

Enter Monsters: A Field Guide to Blood-Thirsty Beasts, a glossy 200 page handbook which - according to an introduction written by Abraham Van Helsing in 1898 - "could save your life".  The publisher's information inside the book states that it was first published in 2004, so I'm slightly confused as to what occurred in the 106 years between the fictional character's foreword and the publication of the book.  I mean, there were generations of potential monster victims in that time span - I sure hope that they had something like this to help them out.

After the introductions and some brief instructions - including a tutorial on "Monster Behavior" and some information on the classification and location of these creatures - the book is broken up into several sections that segregate a horde of cinematic terrors into "classes" of sort.  I guess that authors Dave Elliott, C.J. Henderson, R. Allen Leider didn't want to get all the monsters mixed up, so they've broken things up in to categories like "Mutated Lizards, Fish and Dinosaurs", "Monster Men", "Manufactured Monsters", and even "Mutated Vegetables".  Each section offers a wide variety of creatures and villains that spans the history of film (and television, briefly), most of which receive a full page of the book that focuses on their traits and how us humans can deal with them.

With only part of a page available due to the large images, the authors keep their commentary on each creature brief, yet still cover a bit of information.  There's a "tale of the tape" on each page, which breaks down things like the monster's size, habitat, intelligence (via a 1-5 brain rating scale), and film of origin.  The location and size are also illustrated in diagrams on the page, which are summed up in other sections of the book.  The text includes a description of the monster and comments on four key traits - Behavior, Lethality, Weaknesses, and Powers.  Though the book is less thorough than many online bloggers (this is where I could shamelessly plug my own budding "So You Want To Be a Monster?" series), it provides a nice introduction that should help less experienced viewers to find some horror classics.

It should be noted that the book is not all horror either, as villains from many sci-fi classics and even a few comedies (including the really weird inclusion of 2000's The Little Vampire, which was released near the end of the Jonathan Lipnicki craze of the late '90s).  It's interesting to see these characters included next to some of the classic horror and sci-fi stars we're used to reading about, yet the book still seems to miss a few rather important fellas.  I'm not gonna name names, but let's just say that there's a certain amorphous pink killer from outer space who showed up in 1958 and terrorized Steve McQueen and who has become very near and dear to me who DOESN'T appear in the book.  Yeah.  I know.  Sadness.

This field guide definitely proves it's not the most in depth resource for potential opponents of monsters out there - I gotta believe there's a full Oxford Dictionary sized reference book out there somewhere that really gets down to the nitty gritty of things - but it's a fun little "pocket guide" of sorts.  Full-time horror fans might not learn much new from it, but the well-designed and visually appealing book is at least good for those who want to learn a little more about monster cinema.  I've had the book - which I found on one of those tables at Borders where they put the marked down books they don't want any more - for over a year, and it's still good for a couple of reminders of movies I love or movies I meant to see every once in a while.

This book may have been a life saver in Professor Van Helsing's day, but today's horror fan has a lot of other resources at their fingertips too.  I'm not sure I'd trust my life to the book, but it's still a fun little horror handbook that's well designed and provides some good lauhghs.  If I ever run into Godzilla or Dracula or The Grim Reaper (as played by Bill Sadler in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey), at least it won't take me long to read up on them.  If you want that comfort - or if you know someone who could use the help - it's a super cheap pickup on Amazon.  If the good professor is right, it's a solid investment in your future.

The 30 (Horror) Movies, 6 Words Each List

Ah, lists. One of my favorite Midnight Warriors, E from Shredded Cheddar, introduced me to a simple 30 movie meme that made me think quite a bit.  Of course, I made the thing a little more difficult than it needed to be...because I made the list (which was designed for all genres) all about horror movies.

Oh, and I only got to use six words on each movie. To a rambler like myself, that's kinda torturous.  

So, here's thirty movies in thirty categories. I tried to pick movies I haven't covered extensively here...most of the time.  Take a gander, and steal freely if you like!

 The 30 Movies, 6 Words Each List

#1 -- One of Your Favorite Movies

(But Not Your Favorite Favorite)

The Exorcist

Overrated? No. As good as advertised.

#2 -- A Movie You Hate

(Or Just Plain Really, Really Don't Like)

Halloween 2

Zombie's insulting vision makes me rage.

#3 -- A Movie You Watch With Friends

The Monster Squad

The ultimate in monster fan adventure.

#4 -- A Movie That Pleasantly Surprised You

Zombieland

Tired of zombies, but had fun.

#5 -- A Movie That Disappointed You Terribly

The Haunting

Was 18, not smart enough yet.

#6 -- A Movie from Your Childhood

The Phantom of the Opera

Learned of monsters, learned to read.

#7 -- A Movie from Your Childhood That You Hated

Pumpkinhead

Slow, bad acting. Better with age.

#8 -- A Movie You Watched on a Date

A Perfect Getaway

Well, I still dig the movie.

#9 -- A Party Movie

Feast

Unpredictable and silly, provides many laughs.

#10 -- An Action Movie

The Mummy

Better than Karloff? In a way.

#11 -- A Comedy

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini

Everything a drive-in party flick needs.

#12 -- A Romantic Comedy

Night of the Creeps

A girl with a flamethrower? Schwing!

#13 -- A Thriller

Copycat

Serial Killer 101 with great actresses.

#14 -- A Sci-Fi/Fantasy Movie

The Last Man on Earth

Less science than Matheson's masterful book.

#15 -- An Indie Film

Humanoids from the Deep

Corman produced trash. Slimy, vile, fun.

#16 -- A Documentary/Biopic

Halloween: 25 Years of Terror

Fine tribute to the real Myers.

#17 -- A Musical

Repo! The Genetic Opera

Coulda been my "surprised you" pick.

#18 -- An Adaptation of a Book, TV Series, Etc.

The Dead Zone

Walken in a telepathic wonder land.

#19 -- A Movie Made before 1967

Creature from the Black Lagoon

Gill man versus ladies swimwear? Sweet.

#20 -- A Worthy Sequel/Remake/Reboot

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

Dokken, Langenkamp, Fishburne, Dokken, Arquette, Dokken.

#21 -- A Sequel/Remake/Reboot That Wasn't Worth the Celluloid It Was Filmed On

Day of the Dead

Nothing worth praising. Nothing at all.

#22 -- A Movie That Made You Cry

The Mist

No tears, actually. But emotionally draining.

#23 -- A Movie You Walked Out Of

(Or Straight Up Stopped Watching)

Antichrist

I think I'm allergic to pretension.

#24 -- A Movie You Watch for Comfort Food

Horror of Dracula

Lee and Cushing, beauty and chills.

#25 -- A Well-Liked Movie That You Don't Care For

Insidious

Can't believe people fell for that.

#26 -- A Movie You Love That Many Do Not

The Devil Rides Out

Heroic Christopher Lee versus the occult.

#27 -- A Movie You Can Quote Extensively

Army of Darkness

Hail to the King, Midnight Warriors.

#28 -- A Movie with a Celebrity Crush

Dracula A.D. 1972

Caroline Munro, you complete The Mike.

#29 -- The Last Movie You Watched

Final Destination 3

Stupid, but William Castle would approve.

#30 -- Another Favorite That's Not Your Favorite Movie

The Blob

Like I wasn't gonna say that.