Midnight Movie of the Week #207 - Santa's Slay

"Why, I'm just trying to spread a little yuletide fear!"

 (2005)

Starring: Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie de Ravin, Robert Culp.

Directed by David Steiman.

Rated R for the interior of a nudey bar and all it's sights, some choice language, cartoonish violence that produces blood and a whole lot of grunting and sneering. Also, for Fran Drescher's voice.

Santa's Slay in Six Words:

Goldberg as Evil Santa? Silliness next.

Why You'll Love It:

Love is a strong word for Santa's Slay, which is best viewed as a comedy (that's not really that funny) first and a horror movie (that's not really that bloody) second. Cheese is on the menu as WCW and WWF superstar Bill Goldberg stars as Santa, who is actually a demon that lost a bet on a curling match with an angel (Robert Culp, a welcome face in the goofy film) and was thus forced to spend 1000 years spreading joy. As you might guess from the title, that time is up and now the massive Santa is bringing terror to the town of Hell, Michigan. It's as ridiculous as it sounds and the whole thing comes off like one big joke, but if you have friends who love bad movies too and you want to celebrate Christmas then this is a good treat to find in your stocking (and then probably re-gift at a bad movie exchange next year).

The Highlights:

• The opening dinner sequence, in which several cameos occur, should give you a good feel for how ridiculous this movie is going to be. If you can't have a little fun with it, you should probably stop the movie and save some time.
• The writer/director Steiman clearly must have graduated from The Arnold Schwarzenegger School of Excessive One-Liners (I swear to you guys that that school is out there somewhere; I believe it) and every kill the massive Goldberg makes happened is assisted by some kind of corny add-on. If you're in a punny mood you'll probably laugh a couple of times.
• The weird thunderbuffalo thing that pulls evil Santa's sleigh is pretty darn cool. Yeah, I'm stretching for highlights here. But it's Christmas and I assume you want to see Santa kill things.

Also Worth Noting:

•  Hollywood heavyweight Brett Ratner was one of the producers behind the film, and his touch is visible through some of the names who cameo in the film. The "stars" involved range from the great James Caan and comedy hero Dave Thomas to less welcome faces like those of Chris Kattan, Fran Drescher, and Rebecca Gayheart.
• Also randomly appearing is Tommy "Tiny" Lister, whose time as Zeus in the WWF (and the all-time classic/masterpiece of modern cinema No Holds Barred) makes him the second former professional wrestler in the film. Sadly, he and Goldberg never get to throw down.
• Totally random tangent - In the real world, people are often very sensitive about saying it's "the holiday season" and not just saying Christmas. It's clear to me that horror movies do not share this sentiment. That's probably because there's not money to be found in a Kwaanza based slasher film, or maybe it's because kids love Christmas presents and dreidels are stupid. My point is this - Thanks for remembering Christmas, exploitative filmmakers.

Santa's Slay is for fans of...
Analyzing the impact of the decline of WCW on what was once it's biggest star, people who love corny holiday puns mixed with blood, Lost completists who want to see how this is actually a prequel to that show, and people whose standards are a little lower because they're just trying to get through Christmas alive. Which is all of us, right?

If You Like This You Might Also Like...
Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)
Tales from the Crypt (1972) (Which is really, really good, and I feel bad for listing it here, but it has good killer Santa.)
No Holds Barred (1989) (The Citizen Kane of WWF stars in movies.)
See No Evil (2006)
Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

Midnight Movie of the Week #203 - Grabbers

"I need a photograph of it for National Geographic. And Facebook." 

(2012)

Starring: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, Russell Tovey, Lalor Roddy.

Directed by Jon Wright.

Not Rated. Includes tentacle overload, excessive alcohol consumption, excessive silly behavior due to excessive alcohol consumption, and angry Irish vocal tones with foul language.

Grabbers in Six Words:

Sea things attack! And also beer.

Why You'll Love It:

Good old fashioned monster comedy turns a small Irish island into the site of an infestation, as giant-squid like invaders plague a seaside town. Two mismatched police officers - one an uptight young female from the city, the other a homemade man with a taste for beer - have to figure out what's going on and how to keep the town safe, while the grabby creatures close in on the shrinking population.  Like Tremors did in 1990, Grabbers keeps a light-hearted tone while providing some entertaining monster action - complete with great special effects - and adds a nice comedic twist to the battle against the creatures before the final showdown.

The Highlights:

• I'm not usually the sappy guy, but the budding relationship between the two police officers - played charmingly by Richard Coyle and Ruth Bradley - is cute and effective. Their differences create some good banter back and forth, but they're perfectly compatible when the film needs them to be.
• That said, there's nothing cute about the monsters at hand. When the film gets to the full sized grabbers in the final act there are plenty of slimy and impressive visuals.
• Without being too tongue in cheek and/or losing it's originality, the film manages a couple of nice throwbacks to films like Shaun of the Dead and Aliens without seeming too desperate. 

Also Worth Knowing:

• Needing to make sure the actors knew how to act drunk for some crucial scenes, director Jon Wright took his leads out drinking before filming - and filmed their real world drunkenness. That's method acting at its finest!

Grabbers is for Fans of...
Less intense horror movies, deep sea creatures, Irish accents, Irish accents on women who look kind of like Anna Kendrick, beer, and those quaint looking pubs that are all over European movies.

If You Like This, You Might Also Like...
Piranha (1978)
Night of the Creeps (1986)
Lake Placid (1999)
Trollhunter (2010)
Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012)

Midnight Movie of the Week #199 - Cemetery Man

Most horror fans I know are quick to point out how lackluster the genre output of the 1990s was.  As with any time and any genre, there were several very good films released during that time span. (A few years back I listed these as my favorites.)  But, with fond memories of the 1980s in our minds and several impressive serious horror films hitting audiences in the new millennium, it's easy to see why the '90s are held in such contempt.

The horror subculture that might have taken the biggest hit in the 1990s was the Italian horror scene, which peaked with Argento, Fulci, and Bava through the '60s and early '80s but produced very few horror hits after the '80s ended. The biggest outlier to this train of thought is certainly Cemetery Man (originally titled Dellamorte Dellamore in its native tongue), which stands out to me as one of the most interesting horror films of its time and place due to its bizarre tone and chaotic plot.

British actor Rupert Everett, who would go on to much success starring romantic comedies like My Best Friend's Wedding and doing vocal work for Shrek movies, is at Cemetery Man's center as Francesco Dellamorte, the caretaker of an unholy cemetery where the dead often rise and walk seven days after their demise.  Many horror films would present a man in this position as an empowered hero, but Dellamorte just seems kind of annoyed by his predicament, sulking through much of the film and struggling to put much effort into sending the dead back to their graves. Cemetery Man uses his indifferent attitude as a platform to great things and Everett is a perfect fit for the moody and disinterested role.

There is one thing that inspires Dellamorte to feel passion, and that - of course - is a woman with huge breasts. She's played by Anna Falchi, who might be the most perfectly endowed woman in horror history, and her place in the caretaker's life drives the film toward the darkly comic tone that pushes it to surprising heights as a star-crossed romance and as an existential fantasy. Falchi first appears and captures the caretaker's heart as a widow who is turned on by the dead, and later shows up in two more roles to throw more salt on the wounds of Dellamorte's tortured love life.  The sexual encounters between the two leads are presented in ridiculously humorous ways - think of that awkwardly hilarious sex scene from Watchmen and you'll start to get the idea of what the director does here - but the caretaker's obsession with this woman through all of her different incarnations is always presented as a serious and somewhat deadly affliction for him.

While this sad sack is wondering what he has to do to hold on to the most beautiful pair of breasts woman he's ever seen, everything around him is increasingly bizarre and wild. His assistant and closest friend is a large bald man named Gnaghi who can only grunt and who also develops an obsessive love for the young daughter of the mayor after he vomits on her. Everyone around the cemetery seems rather uninterested in the fact that these "returners" continue to come back from the grave so Dellamorte can shoot them in the head, and the personification of Death even shows up to warn the caretaker that he should "stop killing the dead."

Everything in the film could be played for straight up laughs, and if that didn't work the story could also have been taken to gory extremes for the horror crowd. But director Michele Soavi seems to have an almost Shakespearean approach to the material, and the spirit that he gives Cemetery Man might be the biggest key to establishing the film as one of the most fascinating horror films of its era. A tonal comparison could be made to Peter Jackson's much loved Dead Alive, but the more human and less slapstick approach gives Cemetery Man a more tragic, thought-provoking edge over other splatter films like it.

Initial viewings of Cemetery Man may puzzle viewers - especially after the abstract ending - but returns to the film have really made me appreciate just how much this quirky horror film has to offer. It pushes the boundaries where many horror films stand pat, and never really suffers from its more abstract and existential choices. It's a movie that you don't want to look away from, and not just because you might see Falchi's God-given gifts at any moment. (Seriously, when she has a shirt on it looks like she's smuggling tetherballs.) The dark comedy, the ill-fated romance, and the zombie splatter all fit together perfectly here, establishing Cemetery man as a one-of-a-kind winner.

Bad Milo!

(2013, Dir. by Jacob Vaughan.)

Ken Marino has long been one of those comic actors who's always memorable as a supporting character - dating all the way back to Wet Hot American Summer and peaking (at least for me) with Veronica Mars - so when I saw that he was going to headline a horror comedy that got picked up by the good folks over at Magnet Releasing my interest was piqued.

When I learned that the movie was going to be about a devilish monster who breaks out of Marino's colon and goes on a murderous rampage - well, then I definitely had to see the movie.

That movie is Bad Milo!, and it's as successful as it is ridiculous. Marino plays a timid businessman who deals with his mother (Mary Kay Place) dating a young Indian man, his father (Stephen Root) abandoning him, and his boss (Patrick Warburton) bossing him around. The result of all his stressors is a polyp on his colon, which sends him to a therapist (Peter Stormare) and some medical procedures. But I've already tipped you off to the secret - that polyp becomes Milo.

And Milo, the bug eyed, pointy-teethed, square-headed terror that comes into the film is one of the goofiest and most enjoyable new monsters to hit the screen in some time. He looks and sounds like something left over from the 1980s - fans of Basket Case will probably enjoy the film's joke - and he's presented with the same kind of balance between cute and evil that we remember from Gremlins. Of course, Bad Milo! also has a lot more toilet humor than Gremlins, but it spends more time on the monster and his creator (Can we call Marino's character a "creator" the same way we call Dr. Frankenstein a creator? It's a stretch, but I just did.) than it does making jokes that could take the film down the drain.

Marino is excellent in the lead, playing the straight and scared man for most of the movie, while the supporting cast does a great job of bouncing gags off of him. Stormare is particularly fantastic as the therapist who helps him deal with Milo, playing a rare light-hearted character and creating a lot of laughs with his laid back approach to this rectal monster. Others like Place, Warburton, and Root have smaller pieces of the film but all of them help Marino and his buddy Milo make the wacky plot funny.

Bad Milo! is an obviously R-rated horror comedy, with lots of blood and a bit of excrement spilled all over the screen and a few kill scenes that are barely shown on screen before we see the over-the-top crime scene that is left behind. It's a nice touch that writer/director Jacob Vaughan manages to show the gory monster side of Milo without taking the film too far from its comedy roots, which means that the film will probably play better for the Comedy Central crowd than the gore-obsessed horror crowd. There's a lot to like in the film for both crowds, thankfully, and anyone who can appreciate a ridiculous monster and some zany horror comedy will certainly have a good time with this tongue-in-cheek film.

(Bad Milo! is in select theaters starting today and is also available On Demand and via ITunes. If you're like me, you'll dig it.)

Midnight Movie of the Week #172 - The 10th Victim

Long before The Hunger Games and even before most of what we call "reality" television, a 1965 Italian film predicted on-air murders thanks to a government sponsored killing game. The film is The 10th Victim, and the game is "The Big Hunt" - in which those who need an outlet for their aggression are legally entered into a battle as "Hunter" and "Victim."  The distinctions don't really make sense - both participants are well armed and basically it's an excuse for men and women to shoot at each other - but they do make for solid entertainment.

As far as I can see, the host of the show inside the movie never really expands upon why the participants in The Big Hunt are all male vs. female - but it's pretty obvious when you look at the casting of the movie.  Ursula Andress, riding a wave of popularity from her iconic role in Dr. No, and Italian superstar Marcello Mastroianni were two of the hottest names and faces in European cinema of the 1960s, and the chance to pit these really, really, ridiculously good-looking stars into a romantic game of death is a chance few producers would pass up at the time.

That said, it's a given that writer Tonino Guerra and director Elio Petri spend much of the film trying to make their stars the centerpiece of a fated romance that is set against some of the most beautiful Italian settings possible. The romance between the two characters - who are, naturally, the hunter and victim in one of the Hunt's contests - never really feels sincere on any level other than "we have to be close to each other anyway and we're both trying to seduce the other and we're also good looking", but the duo have an excellent chemistry throughout the proceedings as the yin and yang of this deadly game.

Andress' American character is the more driven of the two, because she has won nine previous matchups and is set to earn her retirement once she drops her tenth victim.  Mastroianni, on the other hand, gets to play the victim as a calmer, cooler character.  He's not giving up the game, but he seems to toy with his hunter as she gets close to him and instigates a relationship.  We never get the feeling that he knows the extent of the plan that her and the TV crews who are trying to rig the game have in store for him, but from the moment their relationship begins we can be certain that many plot twists are ahead.

The 10th Victim does not expect the viewer to take its plot too seriously, and the tone is tongue-in-cheek for much of the film. It's a relatively dry satire that doesn't go for many big laughs, but most of the scenes involving the lead characters and the workers behind the scenes of the hunt make it clear that the film is not too serious with us. One of the most enjoyable recurring tricks in the film involves the Ming Tea Company that is sponsoring Andress' character and hoping to turn her final kill into an ad campaign.  Advertising is a source of comedy in later films about deadly sports and/or reality TV domination, but few films have ever matched the flamboyant Ming Tea extravaganza that erupts in the final act of this film. (In case it sounds familiar, the Ming Tea name is just one of the things that was borrowed from this film and transported into the Austin Powers series.)

It's a shame that the satire and romance take up so much of the film, because part of me wants to see a film that claims "If we had The Big Hunt in 1940, Adolf Hitler would have surely been a member and there would have been no war!" and actually expands on how the game works as a release of aggressive desires. But the film is still visually incredible - the blu-ray presentation by Blue Underground is amazingly fresh and clear - and the two stars moving about this purely 1960s production is more than enough reason to admire Petri's playfully plotted film. It doesn't have the laughs of something like the spy spoof Fathom or the tension of other The Most Dangerous Game clones (even The Running Man probably has more drama than this one), but The 10th Victim is a success because it keeps us staring at the screen and never breaks from its trance-enducing style.

Midnight Movie of the Week #164 - TerrorVision

I just saw TerrorVision yesterday, after long hearing about it as one of the 1980s' most wacky horror entries, and I'm quickly becoming convinced that it might be the most eighties horror movie I've seen. That's not necessarily a good thing by all accounts - there were moments when I stared at the screen and thought 'Wait, people thought that was a good idea?" - but all of these oddities do firmly establish the film as one of the definitive horror curios of an era.

Preying on the cable TV boom of the 1980s, TerrorVision revolves around the installation of a satellite dish that accidentally invites a monster from outer space to planet Earth. If the idea sounds ridiculous, that's because it is; the film appears to have been designed primarily as a comedy and a throwback to monster movies of a bygone era. The main program featured on the TV screen within the movie screen is an Elvira-esque monster movie showcase hosted by a big-breasted Medusa (which makes the movies that features a screen within a screen within a screen!) which allows the film to show off classic monster battles via Harryhausen and not-so-classic monster battles such as Robot Monster.  There's a definite love for the cheesy side of horror at work here, which is where much of the film's charm comes from.

The dish in question is set up by the patriarch of a family that would seem like something out of a 1950s sitcom - if people in the '50s were swingers who had neon decor and lots of oversized electronics. The cast is led by Gerrit Graham and Mary Woronov, two veterans of bizarre cinema, as the parents in this neon household, along with their two kids (Amityville II's Diane Franklin and young Chad Allen) and "Grampa", played by veteran actor Bert Remsen.  It's easy to see that writer/director Ted Nicolaou is lampooning the family structure preached by TV shows of the past, he just does it in a way that includes bizarre clothes, hairstyles, and actions.

Alongside this wacky family, the film offers us a monster that is disgusting and one of its kind.  It's a mushy mess of pinkish/purplish gloop with more eyes and tentacles than you'd expect from anything on this planet. It's a goofy monster that won't inspire much terror, but the creature's voracious appetite leads to some decidedly gross moments as it picks off members of the family and their acquaintances (including Jon Gries, who would grow up to be Napoleon Dynamite's Uncle Rico, as a metalhead teen) in strange ways.  Nicolaou manages to pepper in some brief creepy moments, particularly a sequence involving the parents' love den and swimming pool, but the film's top priority in its monster scenes is clearly a gross and comedic tone.

Despite its sensational title, TerrorVision belongs next to films like The Monster Squad and Killer Klowns from Outer Space due to its tongue in cheek nature.  It might not have all the charm of some of its contemporaries, but it's notable because it seems to be more connected to its time and place than many of those films.  TerrorVision is a movie for everyone who remembers the wacky fashions and the obsession with television that plagued that era. Nicolaou would go on to a solid career working with producer Charles Band for Full Moon Features (including helming their best film, Subspecies) but, unlike most films from that studio, TerrorVision has a level of charisma that makes it a film worth coming back to if you're looking for a cheap bit of '80s fun that you don't need to take too seriously.

Extraterrestrial

(2012, Dir. by Nacho Vigalando.)

What if the aliens invaded and nothing really happened? That's the conundrum posed to four characters in Extraterrestrial, a unique sci-fi comedy from Spain. The movie quickly establishes that a saucer of great size and unnatural origin is floating above the city - which is obviously not an optimal circumstance for relationship building - and then lets us watch as they try to deal with the intergalactic situation while sorting out their romantic compatibilities.

The film opens with Julio and Julia - what a coincidence! - a man and woman who have just partaken in a mostly forgotten one night stand and who now notice the TV is out and the streets are quiet and, oh yeah, there's a mile wide ship floating over their heads.  Julia seems quite embarrassed by this man being in her apartment at what might be the end of the world, which we soon learn is because of her wanting neighbor, Angel, and her long-term boyfriend, Carlos.  Julio, on the other hand, wants to stick around because Julia is hot.  A different kind of love rectangle follows.

The ensuing action is a clash of personalities and a series of standoffs between the three men; standoffs whose lunacy is amplified by the characters' place in the abandoned world.  The actors who surround Julia, who is played charmingly by Michelle Jenner - each have their own strengths and flaws that fit a different need in the situation. Julio seems to be the most reasonable of the bunch, but he's also playfully devious and does his best to manipulate the situation to keep himself close to Julia.  This is a sharp contrast to her boyfriend Carlos, who pushes forth rules about how to act in the face of the invasion while missing the obvious connection between Julio and Julia and putting himself in plenty of difficult situations.  The other problem for all three characters is Angel - played humorously by Carlos Areces, who headlined another excellent Spanish film, The Last Circus - the jealous neighbor who lusts for Julia and goes to strange lengths to call out her affair with Julio.  Areces' performance is definitely the most comical in the film, and his work solidifies the film's bizarre reality.

The invaders are barely considered, outside of speculation by the frustrated characters, and writer/director Nacho Vigalondo focuses almost all of his attention on the budding relationship between Julio and Julia as it pertains to this world turned upside down. The plot could draw some comparisons to Shaun of the Dead, but it's important to note that Vigalondo is not playing his script for big laughs in most scenes.  This is not the kind of comedy that will attack you with slapstick antics - though there are a couple of scenes involving Angel that go full out goofy - and I instead found myself caught up in the scenario and laughing at the choices made by the characters and the props they deal with.  It's the little things about the movie - like a jar of peaches that shows up in several scenes - that become running gags and remind us how ridiculous these characters' lives have become.

Extraterrestrial worked for me - worked very well, actually - because it comes off as so unique and different for both the sci-fi genre and the independent film scene. The director and the actors manage to present the confusion of an alien invasion and add boatloads of sexual tension between the leads, and they do all of this without ever getting into the specifics of the invasion or getting too graphic with the relationship.  It's a deft little film that takes what could have been a simple romantic comedy and turns it into a grand scale dramatic comedy thanks to one big idea.  That idea is the hook that got me to check out the film, but the whole of the film ends up more fun than most alien invasion films that focus on special effects and laser battles.  Extraterrestrial isn't a by the number science fiction film, but it's probably going to go down as one of my favorite entries into the genre in some time.

FMWL Indie Spotlight - Dust Up

(2012, Dir. by Ward Roberts.)

Dust Up - which wants to be a grindhouse western comedy, I think - is a bizarre little movie that seems like a Troma film on half the budget and half the sleaze.  With an eye patch laden hero, a kinda TV star in the cast - Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Amber Benson - and an inordinate amount of random sexual deviance, Dust Up certainly makes an impression in its own way.

Set in the modern day southwestern United States, the film is plotted like most westerns of a time gone by.  A loner with a violent past (and, as mentioned, an eyepatch) lives alone and only interacts with his Native American friend (in this case, a guy who's pretending to be a Native American), until he becomes caught up in a battle between a down on her luck mother (Benson) and a ruthless criminal.  That criminal is the film's biggest departure from the norm for classic westerns, presented as a ruthless drug dealer with a henchman who pretends to be a lizard - and is thus called "Mr. Lizard".

You can tell that this is not going to be your grandfather's western from that explanation, but you really can't understand how true that is yet.  It isn't long into the film before things kind of degenerate into a mishmash of devious acts that cover all kinds of bases.  At the forefront of this cluster of cheesy sleaze is a strong dose of random sexual humor, as the film has more references to hand job techniques and more attempted male-on-male rapes than almost anything I've ever seen. (In fact, I kind of hope it's more than anything I've ever seen, for my own sanity.)  Everything is done with a tongue in cheek, I guess, and there's nothing overly malicious about the film's sexual quotient - nor does the film really ever reveal anything visually that's too inappropriate - it's just really bizarre for the sake of bizarreness.

When you get past some of the more uncomfortable humor that misses the mark - most of which centers on the drug dealer aspect of the story, there's a lot of fun to be had with the hero, sidekick, and mother characters who are fighting to survive here.  The awkward tone of their relationships reminds a little of quirky indie films like those of Wes Anderson or the like, and each of the actors seem to be having fun with the roles.  Aaron Gaffey's performance as the one-eyed veteran is probably the film's most rewarding, as he plays the role with a straight face and seems at home in Dust Up's madcap universe.  Benson gets star billing and - as she was on Buffy in many crucial moments - is certainly the heart of the picture. It's just that - as was the case on Buffy in other crucial moments - she's not necessarily given a lot to do at times.

When you put all the pieces together, Dust Up is kind of just there. It's not grindhouse enough for that crowd, nor is it accessible enough for mainstream crowds.  It's definitely unique and there are some really fun moments, but it seemed like there were just as many moments that came off as too forced or too brazen or - worst of all - too pointless.  I can't bring myself to call it a failure - it's too unique and too good-hearted at times to be a waste of time - but I also don't think you should go out of your way for this one. It probably would play best for fans of wacky westerns with a devious streak - I'm just not sure that crowd is really out there looking for this flick.

Midnight Movie of the Week #131 - Buffy The Vampire Slayer

I had a "last horror nerd to the party" moment lately, when I finally started watching season two of Joss Whedon's Buffy The Vampire Slayer television series.  I'm not gonna lie - I had a mad crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar back when that show kicked in and I was a 16 year old The Mike. I'm pretty sure I set a bunch of the backgrounds in the computer lab at my high school to pictures of her, but that's creepy and beside the point.  She was dreamy, yo.  And yet, I avoided the show completely (until I randomly watched Season 1 a couple of years ago and was kind of unimpressed), something that I can probably attribute to two factors. First, I was a teenage boy who thought he would be less awesome if he watched something that looked "girly".  Second, I had already loved the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie when I was 11.

You will note that I referred to only one of the two Buffy The Vampire Slayers as "Joss Whedon's" above.  If you're unaware of the man and or the brand name - It's safe to call Buffy a brand, right? - you should know that I'm not implying that the dude who went on to create Firefly and Serenity and to direct The Avengers didn't have a hand in the cinematic adventure that started Buffy on her path to television.  But Whedon seems to have worked hard to distance himself from the film, which he wrote with series executive producer Fran Rubel Kuzui directing, due to extensive studio interference in the script and some troubles with the actors on screen.  As someone who had seen the movie first - I still vividly remember the theater experience - I didn't really care about this stuff when I first read about it, especially after I watched the ho-hum first season of the show.

After powerhousing through the vastly improved season two (and now about half of season three) in recent weeks, I've certainly changed my position on television's Buffy.  I still struggle with some of the characters and it seems like there are more episodes where Buffy slays non-vampires than vampires, but it's got the same balance between goofy fun and serious drama (that refuses to be affected by an outlandish premise) that I've come to expect from the other things I've seen from Whedon. Sometimes I think that the way to tell if a TV show is great is to see whether or not you will continue to be addicted to the show when you wish the writers would change the characters' decisions or relationships.  For example, when you have to deal with Casey and Dana never working out on Sports Night or when Veronica Mars continues to choose the stupidest boyfriends ever (and manages to get roofied approximately 27 times) - but you stick with them anyway.  The Buffy Show passes that test with flying colors, because there are so many moments - particularly so far in season three - where I find myself thinking "Oh Buffy! What you doin' girl?!" or "Man, Xander just needs to never open his mouth again!". I think these things, but I'm still desperate to see where the show goes next and am already ready to forgive the characters as soon as they do something to totally redeem themselves. 

Wait...I'm here to talk about the movie, aren't I?

The point I'm trying to make, I think, by shouting out my opinion on TV Buffy's universe, is that I can see why Whedon is disappointed with the movie version now.  The guy loves to take his ridiculousness seriously, and the producers/studio folks behind the film adaptation - armed with a surprisingly perfect cast and a concept that would lend itself to comedy - decided to take it in a different direction.  Even after I'd seen season one of BuffyTV, I had the studio guys' back on this one. 

Kristy Swanson (who had a strong run of starring roles in films of little success over the next few years) headlines the film, and her Buffy shares more with the women in movies like Valley Girl or Clueless than any vampire story ever told.  Her portrayal of Buffy preys on the stereotypes of a southern California teen whose eyes are primarily on boys, cheerleading, and shopping - things that are mentioned, but barely utilized in the television series - while still giving the actress a chance to show off plenty of slaying skills. Donald Sutherland - who feuded with Whedon on set, which is part of what led to the writer allegedly walking off the project - takes on the role of her "watcher", while Rutger Hauer apes Vincent Price as the lead vampire who threatens Buffy's high school existence.  With serious actors surrounding the bubbly beauty we do get to see some of the discord between the watcher and slayer that became a key element of the latter series, but Sutherland's improvisation and Hauer's hammy performance don't really look like they'd belong in the world Whedon wanted.

One can argue the different tones between the film and series all day. Whedonites will certainly back the show primarily. They might note that Anthony Stewart Head's Giles is a far more interesting character than Sutherland's Merrick, and that Giles is a character who maintains some great comedy value despite his depth.  I'd agree with them.  On the other hand, I'm more inclined to take a cheesy villain who still seems like a physical threat, such as Hauer's character here, than several of the one-note villains that appear in the series.  For example, season one is all about the return of "The Master" - a deep voiced, monotonous character who seems like an undead version of the loathable bully that actor Mark Metcalf played in Animal House.  At least Hauer's fun to watch, right?

A young Seth Green, on the left, is the only actor to play a main character on the show and appear in the film.

I've turned this into a debate pitting the merits of the film vs. those of the show again, which was only partially my intent when I started writing this post. There's no winning on either side, nor do I think there needs to be.  The creator wants us to forget the finished product that is this film and watch his show and read his comics, which is his right.  But the creator is only one part of the process, and I know - since I was part of it - there was an audience for a more comedic and less cynical version of his story at the time.

Plus it has Pee Wee Herman and the best death scene ever.

The film's dated styles and the existence of the series have not been kind to Buffy the movie. But even as I become slightly addicted to Whedon's intended Buffyverse, I still find a very soft spot in my heart for this comedic film that seems to exist somewhere between Teen Wolf and Encino Man.  If I was just getting to the movie now and had already seen the series, this post probably wouldn't exist. I kind of feel lucky that I got in to Buffy when I did - "on the ground floor", you might say - because I can now debate the merits of each version while still respecting both of them. If you aren't biased by the show and are looking for an accessible vamp-com, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is worth your time, no matter what Joss Whedon says.

(Sorry, Joss. Serenity still rules!)

Midnight Movie of the Week #124 - The Ghost In The Invisible Bikini

Don't look at me....I can't explain it either.

I might have been supposed to say SPOILER ALERT right then, considering that quote I just typed is the final line of The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.  But anyone who's gonna be upset about spoilers for a movie called The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini isn't ready for The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.   Heck, anyone who's planning on looking at a movie and going "oh, I didn't like how they did that scene" or "I think the tone could have been different when Monstro ripped apart the bars of his cage" isn't ready for The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.  This is not one of them "thinking" movies.

I probably sound kind of silly, and I will continue to sound so for what is likely to be the rest of this article.  But there is something in my brain - something I, like the quote says, just can't explain - that tells me that The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is basically the greatest mindless movie ever made.  The part of me that's researched cinema of the '50s and '60s and knows that there were tons and tons of beach party/haunted house/haunted beach party movies that came long before this one - which arrived at the tale end of that cinematic "movement" in 1966 - should probably dismiss the movie too, considering it's derivative of a lot of movies that came before it.  But those parts of me just have to be content to shut the heck up right now. Because I've been in love with The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini for several years now, and they don't have the power to take that from me.

Just listen to this set up: A recently deceased rich old guy, Hiram Stokely (played by the late Boris Karloff) is woken from his coffin by his old lover Cecily, a trapeze artist/sex symbol who tragically lost her life in a circus accident.  She lets him in on the secret of his passing, but informs him that she's here to help him "get up there". To achieve that, he has to do one good deed within 24 hours - which he parlays into a gathering of his heirs at his old, allegedly haunted estate.  He can't leave the crypt - I guess that first day of being buried is kinda an incubation period? - but if Cecily can prevent his bad heir (a sinister guy named Reginald Ripper who's played by none less than Basil Rathbone) from getting the estate and help his good heirs gain the prize and his millions, then Hiram's headed to the pearly gates.

As the characters converge on the old haunted estate, a pool party - complete with band and musical numbers led by Nancy Freakin' Sinatra - breaks out.  A seance happens, a biker gang starts to scope the joint, and a couple of circus workers show up with a giant ape in the back of their truck.  Ripper's redheaded daughter, Sinistra, tries to use her assets to woo one of the young heirs, while the two less party-centric young heirs team up to try and find a positive solution to this night of terror.  As you would guess, a mild form of madness follows.

As the characters all race around the house, crashing into each other and their surroundings, Cecily's ghost from the title moves among them - invisible bikini and all - manipulating the surroundings and causing a lot of confusion for the less morally driven partygoers.  Primarily, this means we get to see a blue outline of Susan Hart - minus those areas that would have required a bikini - popping up on the screen and making some sort of silly thing happen.  Sounds childish? Yep. But it's so ridiculously fun.

And, knowing that no movie is truly complete without some man-in-gorilla-suit action, the carnival star known as Monstro starts to make his way through the house - all the way into the "Chamber of Horrors" where the film ends as the mayhem escalates throughout the last 20 minutes of the film.  I seriously want a guy in a gorilla suit in every movie ever, you guys.  I know that's ridiculous, but I dang sure want it...and you can't take that from me.  Guys in gorilla (or ape or orangutan or whatever they are) suits are ALWAYS welcome in my world.

If you can't have fun with The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, I'm just not sure I can talk to you right now.  It's basically like watching a live action version of Scooby Doo, except there's no stoner and dog and there's lots of girls in bikinis and there's goofy musical numbers and there's Boris Karloff getting hit on by a cute blonde who then becomes a ghost with no bikini.  And that's really all you need to know.  If you think that sounds like fun, you should probably check out The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.  I can't explain why...but I know I'm right.  And that will help me to sleep well tonight.

 The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini kind of completes me.

The Mike's Top 50 Horror Movies Countdown: #41 - Bubba Ho-Tep

Previously on the Countdown: Number 50 - Happy Birthday to Me  Number 49 - Prince of Darkness  Number 48 - House on Haunted Hill  Number 47 - The Monster Squad  Number 46 - Hellraiser  Number 45 - The Fog  Number 44 - Creature From the Black Lagoon  Number 43 - Zombie  Number 42 - Tales from the Crypt

Bubba Ho-Tep

(2002, Dir. by Don Coscarelli.)

Why It's Here:

I feel like this list is waaay heavy on lighter/more comedic horror filcks so far, but it's darn impossible to find many horror movies that are more rewarding than Bubba Ho-Tep.  Anchored by what is undeniably Bruce Campbell's best traditional acting performance, it's one of the most unique horror films thanks to its ability to balance drama, comedy, and scares in one well-drawn script.  I've argued since day one that Bubba - despite its sensational plot - is the rare horror movie that's rooted in real human drama, and I still think there's a lot of people out there who don't give Bubba Ho-Tep enough credit for what it does.

The Moment That Changes Everything:

The first showdown between The King and a "big bitch cockroach" is a terrifically fun sequence in the tradition of the Evil Dead films.  When Campbell utters a fine one liner at the end of the battle, the whole audience is alerted to the fact that it's about to get FUNKY.

It Makes a Great Double Feature With:

If there's one film that has captured a similar quirky balance of character and splatter since Bubba, it's the soon-to-be-worldwide indie hit Some Guy Who Kills People.  The stories couldn't be more different, but there's a willingness to share the lead's inner fears and embarrassing secrets that makes both films so accessible and even a little sweet.  If you're a fan of Bubba, you should definitely be keeping your eyes out for this one.

What It Means To Me:

When it was just a blip on the horror radar - if it seems like that was a decade ago, it's because it was(!) - Bubba Ho-Tep mostly meant the return to prominence for Mr. Bruce Campbell, who many of us nerds were dying to see back in a leading horror role that mattered.  To me, Bubba Ho-Tep passed those selfish expectations with ease and became something truly special.  There are few horror films out there that make me smile and feel at peace like this one does.  Those aren't horror's biggest goals most of the time, but in this case they are worth lauding.

Chop

(2011, Dir. by Trent Haaga.)

Dismemberment takes center stage in Chop, a horror comedy that riffs on Saw and films of its sort with a lot of success.  A cat-and-mouse game between a man who's out for revenge and a man who did him wrong is nothing new to horror fans, but the methods Chop uses to tell that story are more successful than I expected.

Will Keenan (credited here as Billy Bakshi) stars as Lance, an ex-drug addict who's married and seemingly happy, whose privacy is invaded after a mysterious stranger picks him up on the side of the road after his car breaks down.  The nameless man (played by Timothy Muskatell) quickly reveals to Lance that Lance's wife is having an explicit affair with his brother, and forces Lance to choose who he would rather kill.  The unhinged husband eventually chooses to spare his wife's life, putting an ax into his brother's skull.  The stranger tells him that he must go forward as nothing ever happened, particularly with his unfaithful wife, or he will provide the police with evidence that would condemn Lance for the murder.

The plot sounds ridiculous there, and it only becomes more ridiculous as the film moves on.  Lance doesn't hold up his end of the bargain very well, which means the stranger begins to take things from Lance.  This allows for two things: 1) Keenan freaking out in an over-the-top performance that would make Nicolas Cage proud, and 2) Lots of brutal violence that keeps the film firmly in horror movie territory and doesn't let the film devolve into something like one of those Epic/Disaster/Superhero/Scary Movie films.

Muskatell is wonderfully dry opposite Keenan's manic performance, which makes this the odd outlier in which the victim is less human than their antagonist.  The characters who come in and out of the film alongside them add varying amounts of comedy to the film, but these two men are front and center in almost every scene.  I called it a cat-and-mouse game earlier, but that's probably an unfair statement when I consider just how dopey Lance is compared to the stranger's calmly vicious mindset.

Chop is the directorial debut of veteran no-budget horror star Trent Haaga, who keeps the film looking polished while the actors have fun with Adam Minarovich's quirky script.  The turns the film takes through its second half keep things interesting, though I did find the change in setting that occurs about halfway through the film changed the tone a little too much.  The switch was necessary - the plot had kind of outgrown itself when the change occurs, but I think I wanted a little more of the stalker's game that the beginning of the film had to offer.

Quibbles aside, I really found myself having fun with Chop.  The actors sell the comedy well - Keenan's grandiose performance is the kind of humor I absolutely love - and the violence keeps us groaning and laughing the same way it did in films like Hobo With a Shotgun.  It's a fantastic little spoof of torture porn tricks and gimmicks (leading up to a final minute reveal that I'm still not sure I liked), but I think it stands alone as a horror comedy hit too.  This is a pleasant surprise that I'm betting I'll revisit sooner than later for a few gruesome laughs.

FMWL Indie Spotlight - Some Guy Who Kills People

(2011, Dir. by Jack Perez.)

It's time for us to talk about another one of those movies that will turn you and your expectations upside down and shake you like a Yahtzee tumbler.  The film? Some Guy Who Kills People.  That's a pretty simple title.  Sounds like your average horror movie, right? WRONG.

In fact, Some Guy Who Kills People has more in common with a film like Rushmore than it does with a film like Saw.  The film follows Ken Boyd, a 34 year old man who's just been released from a mental institution - or, as he calls it, a loony bin.  The film establishes quickly that there are many factors that led to Ken's institutionalization, but focuses primarily on one instance of bullying that evolved into torture, a scene that still haunts the rehabilitated ice cream vendor.

Ken is played by Kevin Corrigan, who's been bouncing around big budget and indie films since the early '90s, a recognizable face who has never quite been as personable as he is here.  Sure, he's playing a character who is deeply disturbed, but it's incredibly easy for the viewer to relate with the man, particularly in the current social climate which condemns bullying as a cardinal sin.  Most of us have dealt with bullies at some point in our life - aggressors who truly seem to be one-dimensional pains in our collective asses - so we can feel part of what Ken is going through as he tries to keep his life in order despite the troubles he deals with every day. 

When Ken's life isn't filled with the pain of his past it is filled with the awkwardness of his daily routine.  His estranged 11 year old daughter (Ariel Gade, of the American remake of Dark Water) walks into his life with desires to reconnect, while his mother (horror legend Karen Black) has a relationship with the Sheriff (Barry Bostwick) and he starts to see a woman himself (Shaun of the Dead's Lucy Davis).  This is the stuff of post-Y2K independent drama, except for the fact that some guy is killing people.

While the film offers plenty of character development and a few gruesome murders, everything hinges on Corrigan's marvelous performance in the lead.  The actor gives a simple performance as the everyman lead character, and makes it incredibly easy for viewers to relate to the lead character.  His uneasy performance offers a lot of laughs, and - most importantly - they're the good kind of laughs that come when the viewer recognizes that the jokes are focusing on some good old fashioned human truths.  No, there's not always a guy running around killing people in reality, but people who struggle with their lack of direction in life and their ability to be a father and all that stuff is incredibly real.  Corrigan and Wade do a fantastic job of creating two incredibly real characters, which gives a lot of power to the film.

In the meantime, the murderous side of the story features some more blatant comedy, mostly thanks to the bitter performance by Black as the mother/grandmother who has to deal with everything around her and Bostwick's hammy turn as the Sheriff.  Bostwick provides plenty of comic relief as the bumbling lawman, but late in the film he seems to hold the key to building power in the final act.  In fact, it was one of his revelations during an interrogation scene late in the film that had me clapping my hands and nodding my head, because it was then that I realized just how well Some Guy Who Kills People really understands what it's doing.

And that's what makes Some Guy Who Kills People one of the best movies I've seen in a long time.  The film - as scripted by Ryan Levin, who cut his teeth on Scrubs, and as directed by Jack Perez, whose last "big" movie was Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus - really gets it.  It gets what makes a victim of bullying so mad.  It gets what goes on inside the mind of someone who can't deal with the difficulties in their life, and who has to find a way to deal with these issues.

Of course, it might not "get it" in the way you expect it too, and the final act just might surprise you.  And that just adds to why I love the heck out of Some Guy Who Kills People.  It's a truly one of a kind indie horror film that doubles as a commentary on how we all deal with those who keep us down in our life.  It sounds like I'm condoning violence here, which is not my intention.  Unfortunately, I can't really explain just what happens to take Some Guy Who Kills - which was already an interesting character study and a wonderful dark comedy - to the next level in the final act.

But the point is that you need to find a way to see Some Guy Who Kills People. I'm running out of ways to say it, but it's been the only thing going through my head all day.  This movie...it really rules, people.  I absolutely can not wait to see where the film goes from here.

If you want to keep up with the film, make sure you head on over to the official site, which is full of links to Twitter and Facebook and a trailer and all that good stuff.  And if you don't want to keep up with the film at this point....well, then I obviously suck at my job here.  Because I'm really serious when I say this is an incredible piece of genre-bending cinematic awesomeness.  Just see it already.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

(2010, Dir. by Eli Craig.)

From the outside, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is one of those projects that is conceived in sink or swim territory.  I went into the film rather blind, avoiding trailers and reviews, so I went into the film knowing that a) it was one of those buddy horror comedies that have become so popular since Shaun of the Dead and b) it was pretty much loved by everyone who saw it.  Still, I found myself a little worried about Tucker and Dale the film.  Was there really any gas left in the horror comedy tank?

From the looks of things, it appears there is.  Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is packed to the brim with comedic charms and manic action, and the end result is a film that's about as fun as a movie can be.

As you can guess from the title, the film follows Tucker and Dale, two "hillbillies" who are heading into the woods to fix up a cabin that Tucker (the smarter of the duo, played by Alan Tudyk) has purchased as a vacation home.  Dale (Tyler Labine) is his good-hearted and somewhat juvenile companion on this adventure (and yes, the film comes complete with awkward homosexual implications); a large, bearded fellow who has a steel trap memory and an awkward relationship with the ladies.

Speaking of ladies, the opposite side of the film features a group of "college kids" who are heading to the same lake to party.  They encounter Tucker and Dale along the way, and do what most people who hold stereotypes about the mountainfolk of West Virginia would do: assume the worst.  And, in this case, the worst is assuming that the simpleton fisherman and cottage enthusiasts are psycho mass murderers who are out to get them.

The characters aren't much more than those hillbilly and college kid stereotypes, but the actors' work helps freshen the material considerably.  Tudyk is certainly going to be most recognizable to audiences after his work on Firefly/Serenity and his appearances in other mainstream films, and he does a good job playing the straight man to Labine's dale for most of the film. But Labine is the real star of the proceedings, with his childlike performance making him one of the most endearing horror heroes in a long time.  His interactions with both Tudyk and Katrina Bowden, the sexpot blonde who plays the innocent college girl that falls into Tucker and Dale's laps, do a fantastic job of building him up as a hero, which makes the final act even more rewarding when it rolls around.

The acting from the younger members of the cast is about par for this type of film, though Jesse Moss - a veteran of Ginger Snaps and Final Destination 3 - is a welcome aggressor as the frat boy who turns violent when he thinks the title characters are up to no good.  It's another simple, cliched character, but Moss provides a sinister smirk and is about as unlikable as Labine is likable.

The biggest surprise to me was the film's portrayal of its third title character: Evil. As a horror fan, I think I expected Tucker and Dale to face off against Kandarian Demons or mutant inbreds or something.  Thus, the conflict between the two friends and the group of kids who are prone to flights of fancy is a welcome change of pace, especially because director Craig and co-writer Morgan Jurgenson present it with their tongues firmly in cheek.  I was kind of surprised to see the plot play out the way it did, as the unlikely twists and turns definitely feel like a fresh addition to the horror comedy genre.

I've been beating this point into the ground, but there's simply no avoiding it: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is ridiculously fun.  The lead characters are fantastically realized, the college kids play their stereotype roles perfectly, and it all looks and sounds great.  I suppose I could nitpick about some bad CGI, but its effect on the film is negligible.  Tucker and Dale rock, their film rocks, and anyone who watches them come together is probably going to have a rocking good time.  That's just all there is to say about Eli Craig's film: It's enjoyable and funny and kinda sweet and just plain awesome.

FMWL Indie Spotlight - Jenny Ringo and The Monkey's Paw

(2011, Dir. by Chris Regan.)

The Monkey's Paw is one of those stories that just warms a horror lover's heart.  It's become more of an ideal than a story and - despite my vivid memories of reading/discussing the story in a 5th grade English class - I had to look up the fact that it was originally a short story by W.W. Jacobs.  The basic theme behind the story - which warns us that wishes can't always overpower fate - has been molded into plenty of horror tales throughout the years. The adaptation/homage that jumps to the forefront of my mind is a segment from Freddie Francis' 1972 Tales From the Crypt film - but the story has also been spoofed plenty of times by folks like The Simpsons and The Monkees.  To me the story has always been one of the great horror mysteries, because you can go almost anywhere from a "what if you had three wishes but couldn't control the results?" set-up.

So when Chris Regan, a blogger and reader of FMWL, contacted me regarding a comedy-horror short film that he'd just completed - Jenny Ringo and The Monkey's Paw - I noticed the words "The Monkey's Paw" in the title...and I got real curious real quick.  I didn't know who Jenny Ringo was at the time, but I'm darn glad I watched this short and met her.

Jenny Ringo and The Monkey's Paw - a blatantly British production, FYI - seems to have taken a bit of inspiration from the work of Edgar Wright on Shaun of the Dead and Spaced.  The story focuses on two best buds - Jenny and Gavin - who share a flat and try to coexist through Gavin's slothful attitude and Jenny's attempts to grow-up and pay the bills.  When Jenny tries to escape the apartment for a couple of weeks, Gavin is forced to leave the flat, which allows him to come across a magician who possesses a magical monkey's paw.

I think it's safe to say that Gavin is about as bad at coming up with three wishes as anyone in the history of Monkey's Paw tales, but he still manages to do sufficient damage to the lives of himself and his flatmate.  When Jenny returns and finds the results of his actions, she has to take action to make things right.

The first thing that anyone will probably take away from this film is Rosie Duncan's turn as the title character, because she instantly makes Jenny Ringo a heroine that we're ready to love.  She brings fantastic energy to the lead, from her initial pleas that what she's telling us might save our lives to her dominating direction to the lifeless Gavin when things rough.  The character could be taken over the top - and one segment of the film shows us what it would look like if Jenny was too happy-go-lucky - but Duncan manages to keep Jenny realistic and entertaining throughout. It was less than 10 minutes before I was ready for a whole slew of Jenny Ringo adventures.

The rest of the film is at a disadvantage when pitted against such a front-and-center character, but there's still a lot that goes right.  There are no obvious liabilities in the cast, and the film provides a lot of fun moments visually.  A sequence in which Jenny and Gavin search for the magician who gave him the paw - a hammy character who is also pretty endearing in his own way - really gave me the impression that the cast and crew were having a lot of fun making this comedic tale.  And a sequence with the magician and some characters that seem to have walked right out of a Herk Harvey film definitely had me smiling.

Regan's film isn't without flaws.  The film sets Jenny up as a narrator and in-film director - kind of like Wayne in Wayne's World - early on, but I didn't feel they did enough to make this a part of the film in all scenes.  And I was kind of left cold by the finale, partially because I was confused trying to put it back together with the opening of the film, and probably partially because I was selfishly wanting more Jenny Ringo adventures.  (According to Regan, a sequel just might be in the works. My fingers are crossed for it!)

Though its tonal changes gave me brief pause, I found Jenny Ringo and The Monkey's Paw to be a fun example of the comedy that can come from classic horror tales.  Regan has put together a neat little homage to the classic tale, and Duncan has created one heckuva memorable comic heroine.  The resulting 25-minute film is well worth seeing, and I think that anyone who enjoys a tongue-in-cheek comedy should get a kick out of Jenny's brush with fate.

If you want to know more about Jenny Ringo and The Monkey's Paw - and I think you do - be sure to head over to the official site and sign up for the mailing list, which will keep you up to date on all of the film's adventures.  You can also keep track of the film on Facebook, or follow Chris' blog - Writer by Night - to keep up with his views on film and notes on this film's future!

Who knows? God willing, we'll all meet again in Jenny Ringo 2 - The Search for More Monkey.