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Showing posts with label Giant Monsters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Giant Monsters. Show all posts

January 9, 2014

The Mike's Top 11 Horror Films of 2013

I said it last year and I'll say it again - going to 11 never gets old.
I realize things have been a little bit slow here of late, and even the Midnight Movie of the Week is on vacation. But I'm not gonna miss my chance for a good year-end wrap up. Moreover, there have been too many horror movies I didn't have the chance to cover in 2013, so this is my way of making up time for all y'all out there who might not know how good 2013 was in the horror 'verse.

Before we get to the top eleven, some honorable mentions are in order, and some ground rules must be set. The most important of these ground rules is that not all of these films are strictly 2013 releases. Like previous years (here's 2012, here's 2011, and here's 2010), I'm considering films that a) were widely released in 2013, b) were provided to me for review in 2013, or c) were never widely released until their home video release in 2013.  So, there will be a couple of outliers but I assure you they are damn fine horror films and if you're that broken up about them being here then you're clearly being silly. OK?

Honorable Mention: 
(listed in alphabetical order)
American Mary - This might be #12 on the list, and it was a hard cut. I dig the Soska sisters' bold approach to filmmaking, and Katherine Isabelle owns the lead role. It's haunting in a gross kind of way.

Byzantium - I feel like I might be undervaluing this one, which is probably the biggest and most romantic vampire story in ages. Vampires have been a tool for lesser filmmakers of late, but Neil Jordan and company seem like they respect what they're doing here. That made the film stick with me longer than I expected.

Cockneys vs. Zombies - I feel like I've been fed up with zombies for years, but there's always a movie each year that surprises me. This year that movie was Cockneys vs. Zombies, which sounds like the worst idea but is actually a really funny and really exciting action comedy. 

The Conjuring - I don't get the love many have for this one, but I sure did have fun in the theater watching it. That counts for something.

Dark Skies - For my money, this is the most underappreaciated horror film of the year. I went to see it just because I wanted to make fun of it (and because I had to see the school counselor when I thought I saw a UFO as a kid), but it ended up keeping me entertained. Well written and intense; it feels more genuine than most jump scare horror films we've seen lately.

Frankenstein's Army - This one's here mostly because it's just so cool looking. It feels like a low budget twist on a Guillermo Del Toro film, with a nice tie in to World War II and some jolting surprises. Director Richard Raaphorst is one to watch.

Jug Face - A unique backwoods horror with excellent work from Lauren Ashley Carter in the lead. Possibly the most original horror film I saw this year, and I think it might grow on me as time goes on.

Manborg - Not sure I saw anything this year that was more ridiculously fun than this.

V/H/S 2 - A huge step up from the first film - which I liked a lot, too - and the much loved third segment in this one is probably as good as most people say it is. The whole thing still feels a little rushed to me, but I love the concept and wouldn't mind more of this series.

World War Z - It's mostly here because it was so much more exciting than I thought it would be and wasn't a total train wreck. Brad Pitt will do that for your movie.

(In the interest of full disclosure, here's a few limited release 2013 flicks I really want to see but didn't have a chance to get to before writing this. Maybe you'll see them on the 2014 list.
Berberian Sound Studio, Big Bad Wolves, Contracted, A Field in England, Haunter, Magic Magic, Only Lovers Left Alive, Resolution, We Are What We Are, Willow Creek, Witching & Bitching, WNUF Halloween Special, Would You Rather.)

Now, list time!
Number 11 - The Lords of Salem
(Directed by Rob Zombie.)

I'm surprised that I'm listing this here too. Rob Zombie has never been my favorite cup of tea, but I've always respected something about his films, even when he was ruining everything I love about the first two Halloween movies. (Oh, did I bring that up again? My bad. Still bitter.)

The Lords of Salem has a lot of the same problems Zombie's other films have - it's 100% style-over-substance, for example - but it's also the first time that his wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, has been a capable actress - and she actually carries the whole darn film. There's a lot of beauty in this grimy film, and Zombie manages to create something that bizarre and memorable visually. The ending falls apart, but I still feel like the whole thing works. Well done, Mr. Zombie. You have my attention in a good way for once.

Number 10 - Grabbers
(Directed by Jon Wright.)

Lots and lots of tentacles combine with a great comedic energy in this Irish monster flick, where likeable actors and a smart script reign. Richard Coyle and Ruth Bradley really work well together as the mismatched cops on the monster's trail, and the film ends up feeling like Shaun of the Dead than Tremors - two movies that any horror comedy should strive to replicate.

(By the way, this would be a heckuva double feature with Cockneys vs. Zombies, which you just read about in the Honorable Mentions section. Why do those UK folks get horror comedy so well when us Americans are making Scary Movies and A Haunted Houses? Poor America.)

Number 9 - Here Comes The Devil
(Directed by Adrian Garcia Bogliano.)

A Mexican homage to films like Rosemary's Baby, Here Comes The Devil is one of the creepiest horror films I've seen in a long time. The plot balances between human and supernatural horror very well as we learn about the evil at work in this family's life, and great performances by the young co-stars only make the film that much more effective. At the center of everything is a fantastic performance by Laura Caro and one of the best reveals we've seen in a long time. This one left me thinking and feels like a script from the 1970s that's been updated perfectly to modern times.




Number 8 - John Dies At The End
(Directed by Don Coscarelli.)

It's about time that I start talking about Don Coscarelli as one of the greatest horror filmmakers, at least when it comes to being bizarre and unique. The man who created Phantasm and Bubba Ho-Tep did it again with the clinically insane John Dies At The End, a dimension-crossing, drug-induced fever dream with all sorts of entertaining stuff. Like meat monsters. And killer mustaches. See what I mean?

John Dies At the End (or, J-DATE, as I like to call it) doesn't work as well as Bubba Ho-Tep did in the pathos department - heck, very few horror movies are as emotionally involving as that one - but Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes are perfectly adaptable to the randomness of the film as the leads. J-DATE also features top notch special effects throughout, and it's the rare film that I can truly say never suffers a dull moment.

Number 7 - Kiss of the Damned
(Directed by Xan Cassevetes.)

Style definitely won out over substance in many horror films this year, and Xan Cassavetes - the daughter of legendary director/Rosemary's Baby co-star John Casssavetes - provided one more example of that with Kiss of the Damned. This is another throwback vampire whose sexually charged roots spread into both Hammer Films' heyday and Italian vampire films of the '70s like Daughters of Darkness.

Shoddy acting aside - there's some language barrier issues at work here, even with English speaking Milo Ventamiglia - Kiss of the Damned is a captivating modern addition to the vampire subgenre, and - alongside the previously mentioned Byzantium - a nice reminder that some filmmakers are still willing to take vampires seriously when Hollywood doesn't.

Number 6 - The Last Will And Testament Of Rosalind Leigh
(Directed by Rodrgio Gudino.)

This is one of the few films this year that made my skin crawl. A son inherits his late mother's home, and soon realizes the religious artifacts around the house are related to some cult stuff and suddenly everything gets creepy. It seems like a standard plot, but the approach to the film by director Rodrigo Gudino really plays up the relationship between mother and son that ended badly.

Many horror films deal with unfinished family business, but here we get terrifying work from the great Vanessa Redgrave, a whole lot of commentary on religion and Heaven and Hell, and in the end everything just feels so incredibly tense that it's impossible not to be affected by The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh.

Number 5 - Maniac
(Directed by Franck Khalfoun.)

This seemed like a bad remake of a film that didn't need to be remade when it was announced, and the casting of Elijah Wood in the lead didn't inspire much confidence in this horror fan - who is now pleased to admit he was totally wrong.  Director Franck Khalfoun nails the sleazy tone of the original film and presents one of the most interesting portrayals of a mentally disturbed serial killer that I've ever seen on screen.

Khalfoun does a De Palma-esque job by keeping the camera inside the killer's eyes for much of the film, which creates a voyeuristic feeling that had me hooked on this film. Aided by a beautiful cast of potential victims (SIDE NOTE: That redheaded actress Megan Duffy who appears early in the film is literally the cutest thing. I just have to say that.) and a shockingly sinister Frodo, Maniac works. And it works really darn well.

Number 4 - Sleep Tight
(Directed by Jaume Balaguero.)

It's been about 11 months since I watched Sleep Tight, and just the thought of it makes me smile a sinister smile. One half of the duo behind the first two [REC] films provides this marvelous thriller in which a demented doorman (Luis Tosar, giving what is probably my favorite performance in recent memory) pines for a beautiful woman and then begins to do nasty things in the name of love.

My favorite thing about Sleep Tight is Tosar's performance, as he makes Cesar the doorman into the most Norman Bates-ish horror villain since...well, Norman Bates, probably.  I struggled with wanting to root for this guy, even though he was doing awful terrible things to this woman, because Tosar does such a good job of seeming lost in his love. It's probably kind of the same way we dudes always root for John Cusack when he stalks women, and I'm sure some feminists might say I'm evil for admitting what I just said - but the point I'm trying to make is that Sleep Tight is too good at getting the viewer involved and being creepy on a human level. And that's great horror.

Number 3 - Stoker
(Directed by Park Chan-Wook.)

The English language debut of the South Korean director behind the rightfully Vengeance trilogy, Stoker - like Sleep Tight - draws on the influence of Hitchcock and manages to be incredibly unsettling while entering into the characters' home life.

Mia Wasikowska and Nicole Kidman both shine as the women of the film who are dealing with death, but it's the consistently undervalued Matthew Goode who steals the show as the bizarre uncle at the center of the script (which was written, oddly, by television star Wentworth Miller).  Goode is perfectly stilted (it's eerily reminscent of this his turn as Ozymandias is Watchmen, only he's in a rich country home instead of a skyscraper) and his posturing throughout the film makes the character uncomfortable to watch. Park Chan-Wook plays on the same tensions between sex and violence that filled films like Oldboy, and with help from his cast leaves us with the most engrossing horror story of the year.

Number 2 - You're Next
(Directed by Adam Wingard.)

I saw this thing three times while it was in the theater and if it was in the theater right now I would watch it again. (It's not, but it is out on blu-ray next Tuesday and I will be watching it then.)  You're Next is kind of the ultimate junction between exploitation horror and slasher horror and torture horror and home invasion horror, and I'm still kind of in awe of it living up to the hype that had built around it over the last few years.  Even more so than last year's The Cabin in the Woods - which ran away from the pack as my favorite horror movie of that year - this is a perfect party horror movie to enjoy with a group of blood-loving film fans.

But aside from just being a gory spectacle, You're Next has some of the more intriguing characters who have been brought to life in years, and several performances that pop off the screen. Sharni Vinson takes the "final girl" role to the next level, while AJ Bowen, Nicholas Tucci, and Joe Swanberg all shine as the competing brothers in this dysfunctional family of victims. And, to top everything off, one of my all-time favorites, Barbara Crampton, gets to scream in fear one more time. There are about 470 reasons this movie makes me smile (Larry Fessenden's in it too, you guys!), and I imagine it'll hold a place in the heart of horror fans for a long, long time.

Number 1 - Evil Dead
(Directed by Fede Alvarez.)

I don't understand why horror fans aren't all in love with this movie like I am. I mean, I do understand - it's called Evil Dead but it's not The Evil Dead and horror fans are more defensive of their territory than a pack of opossums - but most of the criticisms I've seen lobbed at this movie make absolutely no sense in my mind. (P.S. - Even though I think you're taking crazy pills - I still love you, horror fans.)

Instead of talking about what other people think, I should probably tell y'all why I love Evil Dead so much, shouldn't I?  For starters, I should also point out that I love all the other Evil Dead films as much as anyone, and I wouldn't say this one improves on those films in any way. The biggest treat for me as I look at the four films that now inhabit this franchise is that each one has a different tone and feeling for the viewer than any of the rest. While this Evil Dead mimics some of the details of its predecessors and offers more than a few winks and nods at the series, it also makes enough changes along the way to feel unique and different.

I also love the lead character created for the film. Mia, realized wonderfully by Jane Levy, is not Ash - and she also doesn't need to be Ash for the film to work. Alvarez and co-writer Rodo Sayagues made a brilliant choice by introducing drug addiction to the series and Mia's arc through the story provides for maximum drama as the film unfolds. Some have decreed that this is not a "strong" female character, but this portrayal of a young woman who is dealing with addiction - a portrayal that spotlights the trials of her addiction - allows her to grow while fighting herself and the forces at work in the woods. Maybe she's not Sigourney Weaver in Aliens, but I think this kind of strong female presence is more real and accessible than it would be if the film had just made Mia a regular old-fashioned butt-kicker.

Most importantly, the film crescendos perfectly to a final confrontation that I think is as good as anything horror has produced in a long time. It's a literal bloodbath that is perhaps the goriest thing that's ever been sent to multiplex screens. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. For my money it might be the most beautiful horror sequence since Suspiria, and I don't feel like I'm being too hyperbolic when I say that.

Evil Dead has provided to be a divisive entry to the horror canon, and I am trying to understand when people voice their complaints about it. (Although, I generally feel like any complaint people have about this one is also a complaint that could be made about the original The Evil Dead - but that's a different story for a different day.)  I think the new Evil Dead is a welcome companion to the original trilogy that I love so dearly. It's one of the most exciting, thrilling, disgusting, and memorable horror films of this generation.

Have your own favorites that I missed? Love these movies too? Think I'm being ridiculous and bat-shit crazy? The comment section below is open. Here's to another great year of horror in 2014, and I can't wait to make another list and have these conversations again next January.  To paraphrase my hero Joe Bob Briggs and his thoughts on the drive-in, 2013 is a great example of why horror will never die.


(Any excuse to add Joe Bob to a post is an excuse I LOVE.)

November 21, 2013

Midnight Movie of the Week #203 - Grabbers

"I need a photograph of it for National Geographic. And Facebook." 
(2012)
Starring: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, Russell Tovey, Lalor Roddy.
Directed by Jon Wright.
Not Rated. Includes tentacle overload, excessive alcohol consumption, excessive silly behavior due to excessive alcohol consumption, and angry Irish vocal tones with foul language.
Grabbers in Six Words:
Sea things attack! And also beer.
Why You'll Love It:
Good old fashioned monster comedy turns a small Irish island into the site of an infestation, as giant-squid like invaders plague a seaside town. Two mismatched police officers - one an uptight young female from the city, the other a homemade man with a taste for beer - have to figure out what's going on and how to keep the town safe, while the grabby creatures close in on the shrinking population.  Like Tremors did in 1990, Grabbers keeps a light-hearted tone while providing some entertaining monster action - complete with great special effects - and adds a nice comedic twist to the battle against the creatures before the final showdown.
The Highlights:
  • I'm not usually the sappy guy, but the budding relationship between the two police officers - played charmingly by Richard Coyle and Ruth Bradley - is cute and effective. Their differences create some good banter back and forth, but they're perfectly compatible when the film needs them to be.
  • That said, there's nothing cute about the monsters at hand. When the film gets to the full sized grabbers in the final act there are plenty of slimy and impressive visuals.
  • Without being too tongue in cheek and/or losing it's originality, the film manages a couple of nice throwbacks to films like Shaun of the Dead and Aliens without seeming too desperate. 
Also Worth Knowing:
  • Needing to make sure the actors knew how to act drunk for some crucial scenes, director Jon Wright took his leads out drinking before filming - and filmed their real world drunkenness. That's method acting at its finest!
Grabbers is for Fans of...
Less intense horror movies, deep sea creatures, Irish accents, Irish accents on women who look kind of like Anna Kendrick, beer, and those quaint looking pubs that are all over European movies.

If You Like This, You Might Also Like...
Piranha (1978)
Night of the Creeps (1986)
Lake Placid (1999)
Trollhunter (2010)
Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012)

July 18, 2013

The Mike's Top 10 Made for SyFy/Sci-Fi Channel Monster Movies

SO MANY OF YOU PEOPLE FREAKED OUT ABOUT SHARKNADO LAST WEEK!
Seriously, it blows my mind.  People who only watch Oscar nominated films or big budget blockbusters were coming to me and saying things like "WHOA! There's a movie called Sharknado! About a Sharknado!" And I was like "Yes...these things happen." And I was all calm and stuff.  I've been down this road a few times. It's kind of a busy street where I live in the nerdy genre fan kingdom. It's crowded with all kinds of ridiculous and wonderful and cheesy and poorly made stuff - and it's glorious.

I did watch Sharknado, and will say it had a few moments of brilliance - especially in the final act. But honestly, it kind of left me wanting something more fun. It was a one trick pony with a drab color pallette, an often misplaced sense of humor, and a repetitive nature. I felt cheated, because for such an inspired idea it was actually kind of dull - while also being bad. And I feel a little like some of the people who think Sharknado is the end-all-be-all of ridiculousness might want to watch a few more movies.
Which movies? Well I'm glad you asked!  Below are ten movies that (as far as I can tell) premiered on the SyFy network or its previous incarnation as the (grammatically correct) Sci-Fi Channel. Do I mean to tell you these are fine pieces of cinema? Well...not really. But they stick out in my mind as more inventive, more fun, and more ridiculous than most pieces of trash I've ever seen. And if you're gonna watch something bad, you should at least watch something that does bad right. The ten following movies just might fit that bill.
Bonus Honorable Mention: Atomic Twister
Original Air Date - June 9, 2002
Atomic Twister would have been one of the highest ranked films on this list - until I realized it premiered on TNT, not Sci-Fi. Alas, I will warn you that this one is about a Tornado hitting a town with a nuclear plant and stars Zack Morris and a cougar scientist who never buttons her shirt. Sadly, it's almost impossible to find now - so you're just going to imagine Zack Morris as a sheriff trying to stop a nuclear tornado.

10. Mega Piranha
Original Air Date - April 10, 2010
 You're not going to see a lot of movies by The Asylum - the company responsible for most movies like Sharknado or Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus or Battle OF Los Angeles - on this list. Their cheap knock-offs of big budget thrillers have occasional charms but can end up a little vapid.  But a) there aren't a ton of great movies to chose from here, and b) This one sticks out in my mind as more clever than most of their recent "battle between giant things" movies have been. (And I just love Tiffany. There, I said it.)

9. Mammoth
Original Air Date - April 2, 2006
A frozen wooly mammoth is revived and causes havoc in a small town while Firefly's Summer Glau and the excellent Tom Skerritt try to stop it. Why's it here? Because it's a freakin' mammoth! Those things are/were awesome!

8. Never Cry Werewolf
Original Air Date - May 11, 2008
This is basically a remake of Fright Night with werewolves replacing vampires, future Vampire Diaries star Nina Dobrev being attractive and replacing William Ragsdale, and Kevin Sorbo replacing Roddy McDowell. Before you run away to vomit, you should know that I'm a sucker for the Rear Window-with-monsters film, which is a big reason why I love Fright Night and why I can laugh at this thing.

7. Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys
Original Air Date - December 18, 2004
Not only do the title toys go to battle in this one, but they're joined by Corey Feldman and Vanessa Angel feuding over control of the miniature forces. This thing also partially comes from the writer of Dark City, The Dark Knight, and Man of Steel (David S. Goyer) and gets bonus points for ticking off the notoriously shady Charles Band, who doesn't recognize this as "canon."

6. Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep
Original Air Date - September 23, 2006
This one gets crazy bonus points for taking itself too seriously, even while it has an O'Connell in the cast. The real star of the show is one of my favorite underloved actresses, Victoria Pratt, who manages to play a very serious marine archaeologist while only wearing bikini tops. It also features recently deceased Glee star Cory Monteith as one of Pratt's assistants.

5. Wyvern
Original Air Date - January 31, 2009
The Academy Award for Best Lead Performance in a SyFy Original Film of All-Time simply has to belong to Nick Chinlund for his work on Wyvern. The co-star of films like Eraser and Con Air stars as a trucker who has to help a small Alaska town battle a snake dragon, and manages to get in a heavy personal monologue on his way to becoming a hero. Like the last flick, major bonus points for taking itself so seriously.

4. Sasquatch Mountain
Original Air Date - September 9, 2006
Lance Henriksen's wife gets killed by a 'squatch and then a bunch of crooks start pretending their life is Reservoir Dogs in the woods and then there's a bunch of Sasquatch going down and Henriksen is angry and out for blood. There are some obvious flaws, but it still is one of the better Sasquatch movies out there. Then again, there are about zero good Sasquatch movies out there - so I'm not saying much there.

3. Beyond Loch Ness (aka Loch Ness Terror)
Original Air Date - January 5, 2008
If there's one thing I love more than Sasquatch - it's Nessie. I couldn't stop freaking out when that stupid Nessie movie for little kids came out in theaters around the end of 2007. Thankfully, SyFy was there for me. They picked me up and said "Don't worry, The Mike. You want a killer Nessie movie? WE'VE GOT THAT!" And I think that was the moment I knew I was in love.

2. Terminal Invasion
Original Air Date - September 14, 2002
YOU GUYS! You guys! It's Bruce Campbell, you guys!

Campbell stars in what is essentially a feature length (and low-low-budget) adaptation of the classic Twilight Zone episode "Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?" that is directed by Friday the 13th's Sean S. Cunningham. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. Some bad special effects set the film back a bit, but it's one of the more well-plotted films made for the network and - OH YEAH - it has freaking Bruce Campbell!

1. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid
Original Air Date - January 25, 2011
OK, I know I said I'm not a big fan of The Asylum - but this is their The Dark Knight. Directed by Pet Sematary's Mary Lambert and reuniting '80s pop stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany - the former reprising her role from Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and the latter returning from Mega Piranha - this is the one time when the stars just seemed to magically align and everything ridiculous about these movies came together to make one perfectly entertaining work of art.  Plus, we finally get to see a catfight between Debbie and Tiffany that is bookended by quotes from their once popular songs. This is the new American treasure that Sharknado wishes it was.

YEAH I SAID IT.

September 1, 2012

Midnight Movie of the Week #139 - Godzilla vs. Megalon

When I look at Godzilla vs. Megalon as an adult, I start to think back to my childhood experience with Godzilla.  And when I think about my childhood experience with Godzilla, I realize why it's so difficult for me to take Godzilla seriously.
Don't get me wrong, I truly love The Big G. I have a whole shelf that's just Godzilla movies and other giant monstery productions from the far east. And yeah, the original Gojira - in its un-Americanized format - is a freakin' masterpiece of science fiction cinema.  But I got to know The King of the Monsters from his later films, particularly this one, that were more aimed toward children.  And apparently, some of the children who were inspired by the big guy were a little weird.  Like this kid...
Which brings us back to Godzilla vs. Megalon, which spends more than half its film following two men - who seem to live in the nerdiest part of scientistland known to man - and a young boy that (I think) is the son of one of them. These men and their annoying child - who, in the American Dub, sounds like the offspring of Pippi Longstockings and all three of the Chipmunks - are the target of European espionage due to their own personal robot - the amazing Jet Jaguar.
Nowadays I find it slightly odd that two dudes and a kid on a pocket bike had their own robot just hanging out in a Japanese flat, but when I was a kid it was pretty much the best thing ever.  My family and I howled at the absurdity of Jet Jaguar, but at the same time I kind of thought...well, no I didn't. I didn't think Jet Jaguar was cool, which is what I was about to type. But I felt like Jet Jaguar was...I don't know...the future, perhaps.  Like, maybe someday we could just have a Jet Jaguar around the house...and that would be cool.  Sure, I know now that Jet Jaguar was basically a test dummy for some TV show or toy or something that vanished after this film happened, but back then Jet Jaguar seemed like the future.  It's like Godzilla was Hulk Hogan and Jet Jaguar was the new Hulk Hogan, or like he was Rodimus Prime or whatnot. I know, it's silly. But you can't blame me, I was a child.
The parts of the first half of Godzilla vs. Megalon that aren't Jet Jaguar are bizarre and sometimes ridiculous, including an underwater cult that has something to do with the statues on Easter Island and plenty of "action" that wants to be James Bond-esque but includes things like a ridiculous car chase down a hill that ends with some kind of fail trombone sounding noise.  I think Godzilla vs. Megalon might have actually been my first time appreciating how good a "bad" movie could be as a kid, and this was well before the guys on Mystery Science Theater 3000 got their hands on this one.
Oh, there's monster battles in this film too, in case you were wondering.  The title introduces Megalon, a four-limbed beetle with a Christmas tree topper for an antennae, to face Godzilla - but it's more than 48 minutes into the 81 minute film before the big guy gets involved.  The normally human sized Jet Jaguar "programs himself to increase his own size" to try and take on the bug, but around the one hour mark in the film the directors must have realized that Megalon was stupid and decided to call for backup.  Enter Gigan, one of the most beloved Godzilla opponents, who had been introduced in the previous film - who makes the battle a kind of tag team match once Godzilla finally lumbers into the picture.  The battle is still surprisingly fun - particularly thanks to Gigan and the wonderful finale - but it's also clear that this is the Godzilla series at its kitschiest.
There are surely better ways to spend your time with Godzilla, but I'm still excited by the foolish fun that is Godzilla vs. Megalon.  It's been part of my life for a long time - I can't count the number of times my father, sister, and I have randomly mentioned Jet Jaguar - and it's great to revisit it and still see what I loved about it as a child.  Those who are unfamiliar with Godzilla sequels - and there are PLENTY of them - might get a kick out of this one ironically, like those MST3K guys did, and I can see their point too.  But there's an innocent part of me that thinks this thing is a blast, and I'm grateful that the film still brings it out.
Bonus picture of annoying kid on pocket bike!