Midnight Top Five - Horror Sequels/Remakes I Feel Like I Should Try Again

Every once in a while, I get the strange urge to be forgiving.  In fact, I find that one of the most difficult things about loving the horror game is that I try far too hard to love some movies that I know are total stinkers.  Sometimes I even actively hate a movie, yet randomly find myself thinking "Hey, maybe if I saw that now it wouldn't be the awfulest thing ever!".  I can not explain it, except by stating that I am certainly a horror addict.

For whatever reason, it seems that a lot of the horror remakes and sequels that hit the screens are the flicks I want to make amends with.  So, I thought it would be fair of me to take a trip down memory lane, and check out some of the heartbreaking horror follow-ups I want to make peace with.

Halloween II (2009) - I haven't been madder at a movie in YEARS than I was after I saw Rob Zombie's version of Halloween II.  I wasn't upset that it wasn't a straight remake of the middling sequel to John Carpenter's seminal slasher.  I was upset because it confirmed my suspicions from Zombie's first Halloween - that he had no interest in sticking to the supernatural tale of good vs. evil that is the heart of my favorite horror film.  He'd already tainted Michael, who was once The Boogeyman, and now he took aim at cutting down what I consider to be the ultimate survivor girl and the quintessential passionate doctor.

I mean, I was so mad at this movie that I defaced an in theater standee by writing "I'm with Stupid" on Michael's knife and drawing an arrow pointing to his stupid ripped up mask.  Like Zombie's first Halloween film - which I'll agree would have been a passable film under a different title - I simply could not look past my love for Carpenter's film and the characters within who are a special part of my horror life.

What's changed?  Well, I'm man enough to know that I was being kind of a punk toward the film.  I also read a fine post from the fellows over at Kindertrauma that defends Zombie's directors cut of the film.  Do I really think the editing room is what ruined this movie?  No, but I ain't too proud to try again.  Perhaps someday Halloween II and I will make peace.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007) - I honestly remember one scene from this movie.  It's the one with the "waving goodbye" moment.  That's it.  I think there may have been mutant sex, too.  If there was, it wasn't effective enough to stake claim to a corner of my memory.

But I do remember the fabulous in-your-face teaser trailer, and I remember loving it.  I don't have a good reason why, but the fact that I can barely remember the film, yet remember and love the teaser, makes me want to see it again. Damn you, advertising geniuses!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - This is probably where I'm gonna make you all gasp the most.  I can not pinpoint the reason why - it could be because it seems about 40 minutes too long, it could be that I find the ending kind of silly - but this has always been my least favorite Pre-Nicole Kidman version of the Body Snatcher tale.

Yes, I know it has Donald Sutherland, Jeff Goldblum, and Leonard Nimoy.  Yes, I know that I can overcome my fear of Veronica Cartwright and her insufferable sniffling; just like I did in Alien.  But I've never fully come to like Phil Kaufman's film.  Everyone tells me I should, and I'm sure I'll try seeing what they do again some day.

Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings - My memory of this film is really hazy - think of a flashback from the Corman/Poe/Price version of The Pit and the Pendulum, and that's how I remember this film - but I think that the film suggested that Pumpkinhead (who I was terrified of as a nine-year old) is in fact the spirit of a deformed kid in overalls who was bullied and thrown in a well.  Yeah.  THAT's why I want to see this one again - because it really can't be THAT silly, can it?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - If you take how much I hated Rob Zombie's Halloween II, and multiply it by the awesomeness of Boris Karloff, you'd have how much I hated Marcus Nispel's TCM remake when it came out.  The thing is, I'm a pretty chill dude.  I don't have that much hate in me.  Science seems to state that I can't hate that movie as much as I do.  And, like Pumpkinhead II and Hills Have Eyes 2, the fact that I barely remember it makes me want to be nicer to it.

Of course, I don't want to see that movie again.  Because I super hate it.  That's the conundrum.


What say you, Midnight Warriors?  Do any of these films deserve more of my time?  Am I ridiculous in the first place for dismissing them and/or hating them?  Can't we all just get along?  I just don't know anymore.  Guide me!