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April 13, 2010

Midnight Top Five - The "She Blinded Me With Science Fiction" Edition

First of all, yes. I did conceive this post solely based on my desire to write that title. Sorry. (And if you don't know the title's significance, listen to this stuff, because the '80s rule.)

So, the newest Midnight Top Five focuses on five fine women who've blinded me with their beauty in science fiction films and television. Did I intentionally avoid easy choices like Princess Leia, anything Milla Jovovich has done, and Barbarella? A little bit. But these five make my blood boil in any century of any alternate universe on any planet. Alta (played by Anne Francis) in Forbidden Planet - Sure, "Why don't you kiss me, like everyone else does?" might not be the best pick-up line, but Alta's naive purity just reeks of charm. It's slightly creepy that her father keeps her around in dresses that could double as t-shirts, too, but she's cute enough that even a straight-faced Leslie Nielsen gets flustered. Plus having her around might bring Robby the Robot, too. (Now that's what I call friends with benefits!)Calamity Jane (played by Mary Woronov) in Death Race 2000 - It's a close race (har har!) between her and Roberta Collins' Matilda the Hun in the battle for this film's crown of hotness, but I'll take a cowgirl over a Nazi any day. Woronov brings a unique beauty to the film, and she's got a mean streak to match it. Just don't try to score her navigator and get away with it!Edith "E." Johnson (played by Melanie Griffith) in Cherry 2000 - It turns out the year 2000 was full of vicious ladies, and here we get a redheaded bounty hunter who's collected on The Mike's heart. She's redheaded, she's good with a car or a weapon, and she doesn't get lost easily. And did I mention she's a redhead?Kaylee Frye (played by Jewel Staite) in Firefly/Serenity - I don't know what I can say about Kaylee. I mean, have you seen her? She's the cutest thing EVAAAAAAAARRRRR! She's a mechanic, which is hot, but she's also the sweetest thing of, like, ever. Seriously. She turns me into a droolbot, that's how cute she is.Princess Ardala (played by Pamela Hensley) in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century - I know, I know. I should pick Colonel Wilma Deering, who's virtuous, loyal, and dependable - all while looking like a grown-up Kristen Bell - but....dammit, Princess Ardala is the definition of temptress. If I picked her over Wilma, would I end up an emasculated brute servant whose only function is to please her when needed? Probably. But dammit...she's hot.

Got your own sci-fi loves you wanna share? Hit up the comments below. Until next time, here's a tribute to the everlasting battle between Wilma and Ardala that goes out to these five fine foxes. If any of y'all ever enter this reality, call me!

(BTW, Does it seem to anyone else that I'm saying I only like women who are invalids, or women who have fast cars and/or guns and/or who could destroy me? My bad.)


Jinx said...

Excellent choices. Those are some mighty fine ladies. Might I add the gorgeous Claudia Black as Vala Mal Doran in Stargate SG1?

I Like Horror Movies said...

Surely top ranking ladies, all. But no Phyllis Diller?