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June 7, 2010

A New Chapter in FMWL Awesomeness Begins!

(Note from The Mike: Y'all remember that scene in Armageddon, right? The one where that one dude says something that seems crazy and Billy Bob Thornton's like "He's the smartest dude in the world, I'd listen to him"? In reality, a fellow named Narcosleepy is to me as that dude (Jason Isaac, actually) was to Billy Bob - only I haven't even gotten to first base with Angelina. (Yet.) Narcosleepy is also a wicked cool dude who loves flicks like The Mist, Behind the Mask, and Triangle near as much as I do. He's my step brother from another mother, and he's gonna provide some posts at FMWL on occasion. Starting now. I'm proud to have him on board, and I'd listen to him if I were you.

Oh, and he likes to party.)

Close Encounters of the Horrific Kind

(A study in horror by Narcosleepy)

So…who am I? Well, I will tell you…I am some nerd who has been allowed the opportunity to give blogging a chance in your prestigious blogosphere. My goals are two-fold:: A) to party and B) to talk about, like, stuff. I add in this word “like” to add that special touch of informal class needed to maximize the main goal: A), to party.

But the big question is, why am I allowed to write about horror/sci-fi movies in the first place? This question has plagued most bloggers since the beginning of internet time. The only place to begin to answer this question is at the beginning of my story:

******A misty fog enters the room, and strange orchestral music floods the background. Somehow the lights dim.******

It all began when I was born in a village named Glenfinnan in the highlands of Scotland in 1518. Wait...that is Connor McLeod. I was born in a fairly liberal family, with an annoying sister and two chill parents. We grew up in one of those strange homes that had no cable or access to movies in general. In fact, the only movies I watched in the theater as a child were Honey I Shrunk the Kids and whatever Disney animated flick came out. Horror flicks were terribly foreign to my family. In fact, my parents quite possibly thought the word "horror" was a naughty word to describe a woman’s promiscuity.

Phase I - The Origin

One day when I was about 7 or 8, my cousins thought it would be hilarious to bust out Close Encounters of the Third Kind and take bets on whether I would crap my pants when confronted with the sheer magnitude of the horror ascribed to aliens coming to “get me.” This little nerd in the making lasted until the point when the little tyke gets abducted, whence maximum crappage occurred. Of course I am physically kidding, but I did have nightmares about it for weeks. My family banned all horror.

Phase II - Discovery of Awesomeness

Several years later, I had the great opportunity to watch Jaws. Yes, I realize I was like 10 when I finally saw it, I am indeed a noob-skillet. Spielberg’s movies are not considered horror films to most, but to me these movies heightened my senses to the possible, the uncontrollable, the intangible, and many other able’s/ible’s that invoke feelings of horror. After that, whenever I would swim in the water, I would fear a shark or shark-like fish coming up and nibbling on my toes. When I would ride in cars that had a moon roof, I would look up and fear a star suddenly moving toward me and snatching me up. These movies were horrific to me. But rather than bein' a little biatch about it, I decided to cowboy up... and eventually fell in love with the genre.

Phase III - Horror Pimpage

Here I am now, a nerd who is in love with the genres of horror and sci-fi and sci-fi horror and anything in between. I am fairly casual in the realm of watching flicks, unlike the awesome genius creator of this very blog who lives and breathes awesome movies. But with the help of great friends who've exposed me to fantastic horror movies, I have absolutely and whole heartedly fallen in love with horror.

I can’t point to a single reason as to why I suddenly like horror. In fact, everything about my personality would suggest that I would hate horror. My parents hated it, I often think too logically to accept the assumptions of horror movies, and I lack imagination - my background is deeply in numbers and research. So why in the balls do I like horror?

Horror gives me something no other genre can: a release from thinking. I watch a horror movie and I am engulfed by the world it creates; a world of differential physics, behaviors, and interactions. Everything I assume about reality is tested. What I ultimately fear in horror movies is the change in my perceptions of what I define as real. For example, take the classic: “oh balls, the villain is dead, all is cool…oh wait, he just sat up, run!” I make the assumptions the villain is indeed dead, and when he/she arises, I am both in a panic and pumped up. Horror taps into my "fight or flight" brain goodies, and how I normally think is put to bay.

At this point, everything I know no longer matters, and the only thing that does matter at that moment in time is that I am in a good chair/couch that can handle me sitting on the edge and have good friends whom I can high five when a zombie chews some dude or dudette's face off. Without good friends, I wouldn’t have been exposed to horror, and without great movies, I wouldn’t have liked horror.

Thankfully here I am, some nerd writing about how much I loves them horror movies.

****The misty fog clears and the sun sets. I have, like, a bloody hatchet or sword or something and I look like a fierce pimp.*******

End of Awesomeness. Narcosleepy out!


Emily said...

Welcome to the awesomely amazing world of blogging Narcosleepy :)

It's always so interesting how different people's love affair with horror begins!

I'm looking forward to your future guest posts!

Jinx said...

Greetings, Narcosleepy!
Nice introduction. Look forward to hearing more from you.

Unknown said...

Honey I Shrunk the Kids, huh? Wouldn't we all have preferred to see it when it was called The Teenie Weenies and was directed by Stuart Gordon. No? Me Neither.