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May 24, 2010

Random Horror Throwdown: Creepshow vs. Night of the Creeps - Creepy, huh?

Yeah, this matchup seems about as random as Oprah Winfrey eating canned ham, but it surely did happen to me. Flickchart is my witness. So, in my second installment of the Random Horror Throwdown, things are gonna get creepy....but if you just let it roll over you, it'll be alright.

(Speaking of creeps, do you know what horror classic that's amazing and pretty much fantastic and OMG AMAZING carried the working title "The Night of the Creeping Dead"? Check out the tags at the end of this post, and you should be able to figure out the answer. Now let's battle.)


The Movies:

Creepshow (1982, Dir. by George A. Romero.)
Starring: Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, Leslie Nielsen, Ted Danson, Stephen King, E.G. Marshall, Ed Freakin' Harris!
IMDB Synopsis: Five tales of terror are presented. The first deals with a demented old man returning from the grave to get the Father's Day cake his murdering daughter never gave him. The second is about a not-too-bright farmer discovering a meteor that turns everything into plant-life. The third is about a vengeful husband burying his wife and her lover up to their necks on the beach. The fourth is about a creature that resides in a crate under the steps of a college. The final story is about an ultra-rich businessman who gets his comeuppance from cockroaches. (Note from The Mike: This reads like a kindergartner (who somehow learned "comeuppance") relaying his day to a parent! I love it, but I soooo wish it ended with "And then Robert Loggia came by!" Like that orange juice commercial.)

Night of the Creeps (1986, Dir. by Fred Dekker.)
Starring: Jason Lively, Steve Marshall, Jill Whitlow, Tom Atkins
IMDB Synopsis: Alien brain parasites, entering humans through the mouth, turn their host into a killing zombie. Some teenagers start to fight against them. (Note from The Mike: This kinda makes sense. But needs more Loggia.)

The Directors:
I'll get this one out of the way quickly. I mean, I love The Monster Squad dearly, and RoboCop 3 has some moments that aren't terrible. Fred Dekker, I imagine you're a cool dude. But...he's George Romero.

You know, he's the guy from George Romero. One point Creepshow. (1-0, Creepshow leads.)

The Monsters:
Night of the Creeps has aliens, zombies, and slugs, sometimes features a zed-dog, and even shows off a zomified David Paymer. Creepshow, on the other hand, has a hairy crate beast, assimilating plants, zombies, Leslie Nielsen and/or Ted Danson (depending on where you stand on the adultery/true love continuum), and Adrienne Barbeau. Oh, and a cartoon version of death. And bugs.

It looks like Creepshow has the edge, but you can never underestimate slugs. I'll call this one a draw, no point awarded. (1-0, Creepshow leads.)

My Experience With the Films:
This point will be entirely decided by the crappy people who held up distribution of Night of the Creeps on DVD. Maybe if things had been a little better for Night of the Creeps, I'd have spent as much time with it as Creepshow. Curses!

On the other hand, Creepshow has a special place to me. During my college years a roommate and I attended a midnight showing of John Carpenter's Christine at which a horror trivia challenge was held and, naturally, we won (we being me knowing the answers and giving them to he, of course). Anyway, he got a DVD of Creepshow out of the deal (I already had it) and I got a DVD of Dark City - which is also awesome. I know what you're thinking: You were with a dude who won a copy and that constitutes a "special place?" You're a doofus, The Mike!

To which I say: Good point. But it's still my blog, so the point goes to Creepshow. (2-0, Creepshow leads.)Which film would benefit more from the addition of Sybil Danning's breasts?
I initially had this question written as "Which film would benefit from the addition of Sybil Danning's breasts?" - but we all know the answer to that is ALL FILMS. Heck, if Citizen Kane had replaced every shot of windows with her merry mounds, it'd be widely considered the greatestest film of all-time instead of just the greatest film of all-time. If someone came up to me tomorrow and said "Dude, they're replacing Mount Rushmore with Sybil Danning's breasts!", I'd be like "Whoa, South Dakota's not big enough for the both of 'em!"

But I digress. Creepshow has a comic feel and really is centered around a little kid...and we all know it's OK to show kids violence and monsters; but it's NOT OK to show kids boobs, especially Sybil Danning's (Presumably because they might shatter the child's dreams of ever amounting to anything worthy of seeing Sybil Danning's boobs).

On the other hand, Night of the Creeps has that dream sequence with Tom Atkins on the beach. Add some Danning cannons there, and you've sent the scene to 11. The point goes to Night of the Creeps! (2-1, Creepshow leads.)

The Casts:
I love Tom Atkins. I want to give Night of the Creeps this point based solely on Tom Atkins. But then I remember...Creepshow ALSO had Tom Atkins, if only briefly.

And then I consider that it had Holbrook (a personal fave of mine); plus Barbeau, Nielsen, King, Harris, Marshall, a Tom Savini cameo....and it's got to be Creepshow. I just can't go against that cast. (3-1, Creepshow leads.)

(And really, can you imagine what could have happened if Romero ALWAYS had casts like this???? It would have shattered the horror universe as we know it! It'd be nearly as great as Sybil Danning's breasts!)
This Choice is Like:
That scene in Animal House when the dude realizes Karen Allen left him for Donald Sutherland. I mean, the dude was great, but it's Donald Sutherland, whose loins produced Jack Bauer AND who can sport that haircut. Too much to beat, methinks.

I do love Night of the Creeps dearly, but Creepshow is just so....Creepshow. With that cast added to the Romero factor (by the way, it's totally Romero Week over at Freddy in Space, check it out), there's no other choice I can make. Both movies should just be glad they weren't up against The Night of the Creeping Dead, because I'd drop them like Karen Allen.


Emily said...

Hahaha, I think a reference to The Blob should be obligatory in any post you do! It's addition just makes everything more awesome!

Now I must see Night of the Creeps, I can't believe I've never seen it, but I also blame it on not being on DVD until recently!

BTW, your last Random Horror Throwdown reminded me to check out flickchart which I had checked out back in the day (aka a few months ago-ish) when only select people could sign up, and now I am OBSESSED! It's taking over my life, and I also got my brother and his girlfriend obsessed as well.

Also, I love these random horror throwdowns!! I hope you continue this feature, as it's AWESOME :)

I Like Horror Movies said...

Fact. The Blob does deserve its place in every post. Great throwdown, and much more evenly matched this time! I would easily ahve to go with CREEPSHOW though as being the far superior film as much as I love me some NotC action

The Mike said...

Thanks you two. I have a feeling The Blob will play a role in many Random Horror Throwdowns in the future....

Unknown said...

Creepshow wouldn't have benefited at all from the addition of Ms Dannings twin talents when it already was blessed with the lovely Ms. Barbeau. If anything, the fast-acting "schwing" these lovely ladies would have caused if both shared the screen at once would have caused too many 12 year olds to pass out from lack of blood to the brain, ruining the movie going experience.