Scariest Things Found in Caves
13 hours ago
"The prostrate form of Mr. David Ellington - scholar, seeker of truth, and regrettably finder of truth. A man who will shortly arise from his exhaustion to confront a problem that has tormented mankind since the beginning of time. A man who knocked on a door seeking sanctuary, and found instead the outer edges of The Twilight Zone."
One of the first things that I thought of while watching this episode unravel for the first time was that iconic quote from The Usual Suspects: "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist." The catch of Charles Beaumont's story here is exactly what that movie was considering - the rise of skepticism in modern culture. When Jerome begins to rave about the problems of the world and the effects that man in the cage has had on the world, we understand completely why Mr. Ellington would doubt his main point. That point - that the man in the cage, devil or not, is dangerous - is lost in the details of the story that Ellington simply can't fit into his world view.
I won't say who's right or wrong in The Howling Man's conflict of interests, as that's something I hope you'll find out. But it's not a spoiler to say that the final scene of the episode accurately predicts a trend in society that continued after the war that was alluded to in the episode's opening and has continued in the decades since. Humanity, in total, has done a poor job of keeping the things that could be a danger locked away. Until we find a way to do so, we'll continue to go in circles. And while we're trying to figure out who's right and who's wrong, the deadly tools at our disposal will only lead to further conflicts.
Anything with Basil Rathbone as Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Watson - A lot of people are down on these flicks, produced between 1939-1946, for being a far cry from Arthur Conan Doyle's stories. Plus, if you think the Saw series is bad, you should know that there were a whopping FOURTEEN of these movies made in that seven year span. But I just love the dynamic between Rathbone and Bruce, and anything with Bruce, really. When I think of Watson, it's impossible to not picture him and smile.
Time After Time (1979, Nicholas Meyer) - What if, instead of Holmes, the person pursuing the Ripper was H.G. Wells, of Time Machine fame, and the setting was San Francisco, 1979. That's the question posed by this one, in which David Warner's Ripper is chased through time by Malcolm McDowell's Wells. It's one of my favorite films, thanks to the charming script and its original concept - which exceeds any expectations.
Jack The Ripper (1988, David Wickes) - I remember watching this TV miniseries when I was just a little tyke, and was entranced by not only the mystery of whether or not Michael Caine ends up finding Jack the Ripper, but also by some memorable scenes featuring an impressive portrayal of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Armand Assante. Looking back now, it's still an impressive TV achievement.
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother (1975, Gene Wilder) - Fresh off of one of my five favorite films, Young Frankenstein, Wilder teamed up again with Marty Feldman to make this spoof of the Holmes character. It's not entirely successful, sadly, but the chance to see Wilder and Feldman battle the diabolical Moriarty (Leo McKern of The Omen!) is too cool for me to pass up.
Despite the fact I grew up watching the now nonexistent Clownhouse on a weekly basis, my first experience with Killer Klowns from Outer Space occurred on Christmas Eve 2001. I received the DVD as a gift from my father that night, making it one of the first few horror films to land in my collection, and assumed a love affair was about to begin. Unfortunately, it didn't work out right away. The movie surely entertained me, but the goofy actors and the PG-13 status of the flick rubbed me the wrong way. When looking up info for this review on IMDB, I even found that I had scored the movie 2 stars out of 10 back then. Luckily, it turns out my younger self was kind of an idiot.
The story, if you really can't guess, follows a few teens (aged 26-29) who see an object fall from the sky and assume it's something worth finding. Of course, a farmer who probably didn't have much schooling and his dog (played by veteran character actor Royal Dano and a dog) stumble upon the crash site first, and are quickly spun into cotton candy by intergalactic circus folk. It's kinda like that play about racism called Spinning Into Butter, only with cotton candy and klowns instead of butter and racism. (Oh, and with an entirely different plot.)
If you're wondering what the difference between klowns and clowns is, I think it's that klowns a) come from outer space in a meteor/circus tent; b) are kinda bulbous, looking more like the lovechild of Charles Barkley and Jabba the Hut than any normal clown; and c) aren't so creepy as clowns are.
Like I recognized years ago, Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a movie that's no cinematic treasure from a technical standpoint. But with everything from the practical effects to the silly plot to the awesome musical score, it's clear that the Chiodo Brothers had a ton of fun making this movie. Looking back, I know now that if a filmmaker can succeed at having fun and at the same time produce something as memorable and goofy as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, that's a film I'm gonna keep coming back to, and that's a movie that should be a Midnight Movie of the Week.
2008, Dir. by Susan Montford.
As a new month begins, I'm again reevaluating where I'm at in blogging. The first two months of 2010 have been really exciting for me and the blog, and I thought I'd take some time to send an update from my underground lair, so you all can know what to expect as the blog rolls forward.

Don't get me wrong, there are a few black women in horror films I could have mentioned. Naomie Harris in 28 Days Later... was an obvious pick, but I wasn't comfortable calling that a historical entry when my first post on Jada Pinkett/Demon Knight covered the same things I would say about her performance. I considered a few more recent performances, like Halle Berry in Gothika or Aaliyah in Queen of the Damned, and maybe there was something to say about their performances - except the films are both pretty awful. There are other '70s blaxplotation horrors like Blackenstein or more stylish films like The House on Skull Mountain, but none really seemed to focus their attention on creating memorable female characters. I even grasped at last week's Midnight Movie of the Week, Dead of Night, looking at the lounge singer played by Elisabeth Welch who appears in the film's final segment, but that was a bit part only notable for being the earliest appearance of a black woman in a horror film (an English horror film, to be fair).

That winner is.....Cory from Cory's Crappy Cinema!
Overture Films' remake of The Crazies, out this weekend in theaters and starring two of my favorite people working (Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell), is set in a fictional small Iowa town called Ogden Marsh. The town used for much of the film, Lenox, has a recorded population of 1401 people, though the fictional town is listed in the film as having 1360 people. Somewhere, 41 God-fearing Iowans are pissed off. (As a random aside, there is actually an Ogden, Iowa - which is located about 120 miles from where the fictional Ogden Marsh would be and about 110 miles in a different direction from Lenox.)
When listing my favorite horror movies of all-time, the least known title I usually bring up is 1945's Dead of Night - which is to me the ultimate in horror anthology flicks. A production of England's famed Ealing Studios (a favorite of my Masha!) that's pieced together by a whopping FOUR directors (Alberto Cavalcanti, Charles Crichton, Basil Dearden, and Robert Hamer; if you're counting), it's the rare anthology that is seamlessly linked by a central story.
Each segment of the film has a distinct feel from the others, but they're arranged to build suspense well. There's a crescendo throughout the first three stories and the scenes that connect them, leading to my favorite bits in the final reels. Most well placed is the comedic ghost tale "Golfing Story" from Crichton, which is adapted from H.G. Wells. It stars the comedic duo of Basil Radford and Naunton Wayne, who'd been first paired by Alfred Hitchcock in The Lady Vanishes, and their legendary rapport works well in lightening the mood for both the audience and the characters.
Thus I present Dead of Night as this week's Midnight Movie of the Week. If you're a fan of classic horror tales, you can't find many with the haunting imagery and psychological depth of this one.
As the fine folks of Alcoholics Anonymous say, we keep what we have by giving it away. Thus, I offer up From Midnight, With Love's First DVD Giveaway!
Robots get a bad rap. Whether it's the T-800 and ups from the Terminator series or 2001: A Space Odyssey's HAL-9000, they're often the aggressors to some pretty noble dudes and dudettes. But somewhere aside from the metal terrors of films like Hardware and Runaway (I LOVE ME SOME RUNAWAY!), there are some robots who the ladies might say are pretty fly. With no further ado, I look at my Top 5.
Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still - If you have to ask which version of this movie I'm talking about, quit reading my blog and go watch the 1951 classic. Then, be quiet. Anyway, if robots were professional wrestlers, Gort would be the late-WCW superstar Goldberg - because when he shows up, he shuts EVERYTHING down. The unstoppable Gort is quite a menacing presence, but we know he's on the side of good and only steps into action when the noble Klaatu is at risk. If that doesn't Barada your Nikto, check your pulse.
Robby the Robot from Forbidden Planet - Look at that sly devil! If it can please Anne Francis, it's good enough for me. Plus Robby's got a ton of fantastic features and, like Gort, is only volatile when the situation requires it. And then there's the alcohol production thing, which isn't my style, but which many enjoy responsibly. Kudos to you, Roberto Roboto.
R2-D2 from the Star Wars trilogy (What do you mean "prequels"?) - Yes, this is too easy. But do you think you could put up with C-3PO for three movies? Yeah, I couldn't either. Plus he can always use the pickup line "Is that a holographic Princess Leia in my pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" 60% of the time, it works every time.
XG-7000 from Robot Repair, et al. (via Saturday Night Live) - OK, this one definitely has trouble staying cool. If you haven't seen the skit, it's the undeniably awesome Phil Hartman who plays the robotic star of "Robot Repair", a mistitled show in which he repairs everyday items - not robots. Like I said, he loses his cool as his producers continue to change the show's misleading title with disastrous results (my favorite is Let's Repair, Robots), but who hasn't wanted to kill the producers of a wronged TV show at some point? That's very cool.
GERTY from Moon - Voiced by Kevin Spacey, GERTY is one of the most shockingly cool robots of our time. Unlike the HAL-9000 types he resembles, GERTY really shows a care for Sam, his human companion, up to the point of making sacrifices on behalf of him. Plus, if you can find the DVD Easter Egg, he's a heckuva ping pong player!
2010, Dir. by Martin Scorsese.


First up we've got the Amicus produced And Now The Screaming Starts!, an anthology film that's been on my wishlist for a long time. It stars no less than the great Peter Cushing and the gorgeous Stephanie Beacham, so it was a must. It's followed up by David Lee Fisher's 2006 "remix" of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, which I've been told is a nice companion piece to the silent masterpiece. Then there's what might be the most exciting find of the bunch Jacques Tourneur's Curse/Night of The Demon, one of the most revered classic horrors I'd yet to see.
As the fine folks of Alcoholics Anonymous say, we keep what we have by giving it away. Thus, I offer up From Midnight, With Love's First DVD Giveaway!
One of the first old-school horror movies I encountered in my teen years was The Omen, a recommendation from my Aunt Kelly who knew that my sister and I were always searching for more "scary" movies. Around that time the film was nearing its 20th anniversary, which wasn't a big deal to me - I'd spent my grade school years watching black-and-white horrors and had already declared the (then) 40-year-old thriller Rear Window to be perhaps my favorite movie (it still is). The film struck me as fresh, original, and engaging despite its age (and the age of its star, Gregory Peck, in one of his final leading roles), and I'm glad to say that it still holds that power today.
As the film moves forward, it becomes evident that the "it" which Damien's first nanny referred to in her last moments is the world...and that Damien is possibly the son of Satan himself. This is the type of plot that could easily become cheesy or unbelievable, but The Omen, thanks to a strong sense of direction by Richard Donner and an excellent script by David Seltzer, stays conceivable throughout. A lot of the power comes from excellent performances by Peck and Trouhgton, especially when Troughton delivers this ominous warning -