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July 19, 2010

Midnight Top Five - Nerdy Dreams I Want To See Realized In THE FUTURE

You all know the truth of the world. The truth which states that "we are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives." I mean, it's the future. Anyone with a shred of decency knows there are great things in it. But when it comes down to it, and a guy like me looks at the future, I don't see moon rockets or time travel or even advances in SCIENCE. I see a few things that need to happen on the big screen to make this nerd happy as can be.
Jason Statham and Luc Besson (or at least someone who's being given ideas by Luc Besson) Take on Zombies - Yes, I know. The zombie movement has been driven into the ground, and isn't likely to rise again with fresh legs - pun intended. But I have to wonder: What if one of my guiltiest pleasures of the last decade, those films in that Transporter series, combined with a bit of Romero? And what if it didn't turn out like one of those middling Resident Evil films, because it had the kinda poetic eye of Besson or Pierre Morel or one of their chums behind it? What if they got the District B13 guys to do a bit of zombie parkour? Tell me that wouldn't be the most exciting attack on shamblers this side of Shaun of the Dead!Hammer Films' Return Actually Works - I've heard great things about The Resident - Hammer's first film back which will star Hillary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan(!), and (of course) Christopher Lee - from a source or two. I see today that they just signed 43-year-old Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe to star in The Woman in Black - which is supposed to be all spooky and ghastly. It's impossible to think that the Hammer Films we know from the middle of the last century - filled with gothic tales of monsters and Caroline Munro-esque beauties in corsets - will be back entirely; but the idea of a studio that loves and respects the horror genre making movies in the 21st Century kind of gives me hope for mankind.Someone Besides Rob Zombie Makes a Halloween Film (in the Next Five Years) - I honestly don't care if it's Uwe Boll. Just please, someone, put Michael Myers back in a shadow with a white mask and let my imagination do the rest. It will cost you no money, and it will make triple that on name recognition alone. Just keep that music making, film faking hack away. I can't deal with him trying to skullflunk my nightmares one more time. (If anyone mentions his name in conjunction with my Blob, they lose a pinky.)John Carpenter Returns - The Ward has supposedly been in post-production for over a year. It stars Amber Heard and Danielle Panabaker, two pretty young things with horror roots planted, and there's even an uninspiring raw clip out there. Carpenter's been attached to dozens of projects for the last few years - I was rather hopeful for that project with Nic Cage, Riot, which has apparently dissolved - but I don't have any reason to believe he'll put anything better than his last Masters of Horror episode together. Except for a fleeting hope, that is. Oddly, Carpenter too will reportedly rely on Ms. Swank, who is attached to Fangland, his "next" film.Flash Gordon Prevails Again! - If you're like me, watching 1980's Flash Gordon is occasionally the greatest moment of your life. We know the name's out there for a reboot - The Crazies helmer Breck Eisner is attached - and it's completely possible we could see the blonde bomber (OK, not Terry Bradshaw) back in action. Casting will be most important (I spent most of the last decade hoping an Owen Wilson/Flash Gordon combo would happen, but it's probably too late), but it's been too long since we've had this kind of cheesy hero to love. As an alternative (or as a bonus!), I will accept a Buck Rodgers film.

OK, so future events such as these might night affect YOU in the future. But for The Mike? They're the kind of dreams that keep this ever lovin' blue-eyed blog going.Why a picture of The Thing? Because, if this were a Midnight Top Six......


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Jinx said...

Fantastic, Mike!
I'm so excited about the return of Hammer I can barely contain myself!
And I’m completely with you on the awesomeness of the 80s Flash Gordon so I could also be on board with that. Off to consider who I want as Flash now.

Sarah E. Jahier said...

Love the blog!

I've given you a Versatile Blogger Award:

Stay Spooky!

AE said...

Oh oh oh, I LOVE The Woman in Black. Both the book and the British TV movie are fab. Come on, Hammer, we're pulling for you!