A Midnight Warrior Speaks! Are you next?

By this point, I'm sure everyone out there who's reading this is contemplating their entry in this month's Midnight Warriors festivities. R.D. Penning, the horror-obsessed mind behind a blog called Dead End Drive-In, has already offered up his take on the question I've posed. Below, he lists 10 things that assure his happiness when it comes to what Lady Gaga calls the horror game.10. Adam Green - He has the ability to make amazing horror or thriller movies, like Frozen or Spiral, and makes them semi-relatable to normal people. He always brings something fresh to the plate, whether it be realistic scenarios or unbelievably fun hack and slash ode to the 80's like Hatchet.

9. French Horror and its ever rising greatness - I'll admit, I thought High Tension was absolutely horrible, but lately they have blown my mind with flicks like Martyrs, Inside, Ils, etc. I hope they keep up the good work!

8. Let The Right One In - Amidst a slew of diamond sparkling pansy vampires, there manages to be a vampire film that blows me away, and that can still give me chills. With this movie, I hope we see a rebirth in quality vampire movies.

7. The Independent Horror World - Through blogging, I found a whole other world filled with bad-ass filmmakers and actors that have a passion for horror that shows in their films. I've seen amazing films from Jeremiah Kipp (Contact, The Christmas Party), Bart Mastronardi (Vindication), Dominick Sivilli (Contact, Vindication), and an awesome trailer for Distortion from Richard Diaz. Not to mention great actors, including Deneen Melody, Kaylee Williams, Zoe Daelman Chalnda, Julin Jean, Roxy Vandiver, Allan Rowe Kelly (also a great director), plus the people I have personally worked with - Wes Worthing and Jenna Giovanni. There are so many awesome people working on awesome movies out there, and I love it!

6. The occasional movie that keeps the creature feature title alive - Cloverfield, The Host, Feast Trilogy. The creature features that are worth it are few and far between, but man I love it when a good one comes together. (That A-Team quote's just for you, Mike.)

5. SyFy Channel movies - Anyone who doesn't like SyFy Channel movies should be shot, haha. How could you not like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, or Mega Pirahna, or Ice Spiders, or any movie Lance Henriksen is in these days? Every Saturday and Sunday, these movies make my world go round.

4. Horror Comic books - There used to be a time where I didn't watch many movies. I know, I know, hard to believe. When I wasn't watching movies I was reading good ol' fashion horror books. My time table for reading has gone down quite a bit these days, and so I turn to a short fix: horror comic books. They have come such a long way, and I am really starting to enjoy many of them. How could you not when you have stuff like Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash at your disposal?

3. Fellow bloggers - You guys frickin rock! There is nothing that gets me pumped more to see a movie than hearing about it from a fellow blogger. It is intense! Especially when you have opportunities like The Midnight Warriors!!!

2. Horror Conventions - While I don't make it to any of them, I wish I could. I have so many friends that do go, and the pictures they post make me jealous. I will make it to one one of these days. Just knowing there are so many other people out there who have a love for the genre makes me happy.

1. No matter what happens to me in life, I know that horror movies will always be there for me. They never leave. They never die. I don't have to feed them, even though they feed me. There is a type of horror movie for every mood that I am in. All in all, there is no need to split it up into sub-genres, for I just LOVE Horror.

A big thanks to Mr. Penning for his enthusiastic (you all don't have to do a Top 10, by the way!) participation in this month's festivities! To the rest of you, don't forget to send your response (or a link to a posted response on your own blog, if that's your fancy) to the Midnight Warriors assignment: "What's guaranteed to make you happy when it comes to Horror, Genre, or Cult cinema?" to The Mike at frommidnightwithlove@gmail.com by Monday June 21st!

Again, thanks to Mr. Penning, and to all The Midnight Warriors out there! I look forward to unleashing all your replies!

Random Horror Throwdown - Tremors vs. Rogue

OK, just take a look at the two posters below. If this were an Arnold Schwarzenegger film from the late '80s, I believe the one-liner would be "DALK ABOT AN UNDAHBITE!" (You know, because there's stuff coming up from below...and it's got teeth and looks mean...and...well, you know.) Point is, we've got monsters attacking all over your unders in this week's Random Horror Throwdown!

VS.

The Movies:
Tremors (1990, Dir. by Ron Underwood.)
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Victor Wong.
IMDB Synopsis: A small town gradually becomes aware of a strange creature which picks off people one by one. But what is this creature, and where is it? At the same time, a seismologist is working in the area, she detects _tremors_. The creature lives underground, and can 'pop up' without warning. Trapped in their town, the town-folk have no escape. (Note from The Mike: This is one of the few times I've ever seen underscores and apostrophes used for effect. As someone who also _abuses_ punctuation, I 'approve'.)

Rogue (2007, Dir. by Greg Mclean.)
Starring: Michael Vartan, Radha Mitchell, Sam Worthington.
IMDB Synopsis: An American journalist on assignment in the Australian outback encounters a man-eating crocodile. (Note from The Mike: Yup. That about does it.)

The Directors:
Ron Underwood hit his peak of popularity with Tremors and 1991's City Slickers, never making a huge impact after. He shows a lot of competence in these two films, but nothing really shines. Greg Mclean, on the other hand, has impressed me greatly through two films. His first feature, Wolf Creek, was unfairly panned by many - but I've always felt like it's one of the more effective films to come out of the "torture porn" movement of the mid decade. Rogue is even more impressive, and it's a film who's style I often compare to Jaws. Thus, I'm going with Mclean and awarding the first point to Rogue. (1-0, Rogue leads.)

The Casts:
Everyone loves Kevin Bacon. Everyone knows Kevin Bacon. But no one really knows why. Seriously, off the top of your head, what's Kevin Bacon's most popular movie. Don't say this one, and don't say Friday the 13th. A Few Good Men? That's not a Kevin Bacon movie, really. Flatliners? Sleepers? The Air Up There? OK, I'll give you Footloose. But I'm honestly confused as to how this guy is so well known. Anyway, he's in Tremors. So is the awesome Fred Ward, and the awesome Victor Wong of Big Trouble in Little China and Prince of Darkness. (It was seriously easier for me to think of two Victor Wong movies than it was to think of two Kevin Bacon movies.)

Rogue's got Michael Vartan, who I think I like even though I can't name anything he's in, and Radha Mitchell and Sam Worthington, who are kind of in everything. But Victor Wong's in John Carpenter movies, and thus I'm giving the point to Tremors. (1-1.)

The Plots:
I love movies about giant crocs/gators/snakes/etc. in the jungle/swamp/etc. They're just so fun. Heck, I even liked parts of Primeval that weren't Brooke Langton's cuteness. I even liked Anaconda 2. I even...you get the point. (By the way, was I the only person that had NO IDEA Primeval was a movie about a crocodile when it came out? That was possibly the most poorly marketed horror film of the last decade, and there have been some VERY poorly marketed horror films in the last decade.)

But Tremors is just so unique. It's got Graboids, man. Are they less real than a giant croc? Yup. Are they more fun? Yup. Tremors gets the point. (2-1, Tremors leads.)

I've always fathomed The Blob killing (and hopefully not chilling) in a desert or in a swamp. Which one sounds more fun?
Look, The Blob is a natural desert dweller, considering its only weakness. But I've always thought deserts are kinda boring. The Blob would munch on scorpions, cacti, weird naked indians, etc. That's dull.

Blob vs. Swamp Thing? That's freaking epic. Rogue has swampiness, Rogue makes me think of that battle, Rogue gets a point. (2-2.)

My Experience With The Films:
I really, really dig Rogue. It's as tense a natural horror as has been made in many, many years. I've seen it 3-4 times already, and even shown it to friends for a few smiles. Tremors is perhaps not as proficient, at least in technical terms, but it's so darn memorable. It's a perfect "party horror" flick too, which I always love.This Choice is Like:
I was a big fan of the WWF as a kid, and one of their all time great "throwdowns" occurred at Wrestlemania 3 between "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. Both men were among the greatest of their generation, but on that day Steamboat prevailed due to his techinical edge over Savage.

BUT, Steamboat's success in that match never really got him over in the WWF, and it was Savage - who had failed technically on that day - who ended up becoming a WWF Champion, Slim Jim spokesman, and all-around superstar.

Rogue is technically fantastic. But in the long run, I've got the feeling Tremors will always be the more important film to me. So, despite my confusion over Kevin Bacon and the projected Swamp Thing/Blob tie-ins, I'm gonna go with the flashier pick and give Tremors the "push" (3-2, Tremors wins.)

(Note from The Mike: Tremors 'held steady'? I was hoping it would _shake things up!_)

Midnight Top Five - Horror Connections in Lost

I know, I know. I'm about 47 pop culture years late to the party, but I just started watching that one TV show called Lost. I don't watch shows while they're on TV because I don't have the patience to wait a week for more of something I want - though I often use the excuse that, by not watching, I'm somehow rebelling against The Man. It's like everyone who's assembled and waiting is trapped in 1984, and I'm a much cooler Winston Smith who's smiting Big Brother by waiting 'til later to become a sheep.

I'm sure that my first reaction to Lost - which I'm now five episodes into - is the same one you had: "Wow, that Kate chick is reallllllllyyyy hot!" But after I got past that (OK, I'm so not past that yet. It's the freckles. So cute. OK, now I'm past it.) I started to notice some things that reminded me of horror movies. Based on those five episodes and 47 pop culture years worth of overheard conversations, TV promos, and out-of-context posts on the internet - these five connections to the realm of horror stick out to me.

(WARNING! This post may contain several "flash-sideways" moments.)
The Monster - Well, I doubt that The Host's genetically mutated tadpole is what's on this random island somewhere off of Australia, but I can dream. (By the way, it still bugs me that there are apparently "desert" islands out there. We got a lot of people up on this planet, we might be able to use that land! Didn't you all watch Superman Returns?) The point is, there's a monster on the island, and a lot of horror and sci-fi cinema is based on the idea of an uncharted place with a deadly force, both earthbound (see King Kong) and non (Alien). And the kind of monsters that can knock down trees always make The Mike happy.The Ladies - Both before the show started and after its reign of terror began, the ladies of Lost have had a spot in horror films. Maggie Grace graduated from the show to take the lead in the awful remake of John Carpenter's The Fog, while Emilie De Ravin starred in both the fantastic(ally bad) Santa's Slay and the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. Evangeline Lilly, who plays the oh-so-cuteness that is Kate (OK, I'm still not over that) appeared briefly in 2003's Freddy vs. Jason, as pictured above. None of these have been star-making roles for these ladies, but they all at least showed up in the horror scene.The Shape - There seem to be a lot of visions and flashbacks going on in Lostland. (Do they eventually name the island Lostopia? Is there a pig head and conch shell involved in this show?) But the most intriguing images so far have been of a man standing in the distance. A man who then disappears. Which immediately takes my mind to the dude pictured above, who's my personal boogeyman. Anything that makes me think of Michael Myers (the REAL Halloween Michael Myers, not the Rob Zombie crime against humanity), is immediately on The Mike's watch list.The Stepfather - Even before I watched the show, the TV ads and conversations I'd overheard quickly established Terry O'Quinn's John Locke as the most interesting character the show offers. In fact, I often found myself calling O'Quinn "Locke" despite having no knowledge of the show. O'Quinn's best cinematic work? 1987's chiller The Stepfather, recently remade, in which he is the titular enigma. It's one of the best horror films to come out of the 1980s; but I've got a feeling his work here will overshadow it, even in my horror obsessed head.The Limbo - OK, so I mean to discuss the more theoretical definition of limbo, but that picture wouldn't have been as entertaining as this one. In regard to Lost, I've seen enough horror films in which the characters have been trapped in a place where strange visions and flashbacks occur to doubt that there's a supernatural force ruling Lostopia, even after only five episodes. Will the show be along the lines of an In the Mouth of Madness, with a force keeping them trapped in this controlled place? Or maybe it'll more like a Hellraiser scenario, where a force has brought them to the island to pay for their pasts? Maybe it's just gonna be a really vague Cube type thing? Or maybe I'm completely wrong. But in the meantime, I'm gonna ponder whether there's a more spiritual reason these characters are together in this predicament. (If I can get past the fact that Kate is so darn hot, that is.)

A Study in Midnight Happyness + MIDNIGHT WARRIOR ATTACK!

(What? If Will Smith spells it that way, it must be cool. Right?)

So, I recently had one of those there blog awards bestowed upon me by the fine folks (really, there's two of them, this isn't another case where I project schizophrenia, I swear) over at CinemaObsessed.com. They offered up the Happy 101 award and, while I agree with their assessment that most blogs are ready for a more advanced course in happy, I am always ready to ponder some of the things that make me happyest (I'm sticking to that "y", The Fresh Prince can't be wrong) in regard to genre and cult cinema. So, here's a list of 10 things that are currently bringing the happy in FMWL's journeys to the darker side of cinema.

1) Italian Horror - I'd made a connection with Argento long ago, but it wasn't until the last couple of years that I really started to dive a little deeper into the likes of Fulci, Bava, et al. There's just something poetic about what these guys were doing over there back in the day. Whether they were slashing or just being gory, they brought their best every time. I rewatched Suspiria the other night, and can't begin to explain how much awesome that movie is. If you don't believe me, check out The Horror Digest's awesome take on the flick.

2) Bad Ronald - Finally got a chance to check out this fabled Made-for-TV horror recently, and fell for its charm darn quick. Young Ronald is an unsound boy forced into a secluded existence after an accident, and living inside the walls of his house drives him loopy pretty darn quick. It's a surprisingly gripping flick that still has me thinking days later. Good stuff.

3) Blobs - Enough said, really.

4) Red Dead Redemption - OK, the only way this is related to the site is that it's stolen my life. Addictive video games of genre rule.

5) Dr. Pepper - Because, like a lot of the movies I watch, I'm never really sure what exactly it is. 23 flavors later, it's a delicious flick companion.

6) Adding a copy of The House of the Devil to my sister's birthday present - Few things make me smile more than passing on flicks I love that most people missed. That's kinda this whole site's purpose. So when I saw a used copy of the flick sitting on a store shelf - and didn't need to buy it for myself - I figured I might as well spread the tension brought by the former Midnight Movie of the Week.

7) Great freakin' blogs - I could list names all day, because there are so many fabulous sites I frequent that make me smile. For now I'll just say that everyone linked over there (------>) is pretty darn awesome. Without so many great reads to inspire me, I wouldn't be able to keep going.

8) Well-written female characters in horror - Unfortunately, us males have done a great job of wasting women in silly roles over the years, but sometimes the stars align and something awesome happens. You could take a look at my recent tribute to 25 Amazing Women in Horror for some ideas of what I mean.

9) Blog Comments! - Borrowing this one from the Cin-Obs' list, because they're telling truths. I often feel like my posts are like a grape lost in Oprah Winfrey's canned ham buffet; and it's nice to see that others actually know what I'm talking about. (Or can at least fake it...)

10) Inside (aka, A l'interieur) - Just saw this French horror, which I'd avoided (because it's French, duh) for a while despite recommendations. I might write about it some day soon, but for now I just have to say that it was pretty much the most intense and affecting horror movie I've seen in a long time. I love it when a good shock comes together.

So, now that I've shared my recent Midnight Happys, I call upon those who once spoke and those who wish to join the speaking.....

MIDNIGHT WARRIORS: ASSEMBLE!!!

If you missed it first time out, here's what this Midnight Warriors thing means. It starts like this with me asking a question of anyone out there who will hear it (and free badges for your site, if you like!), and ends like this or this, with all who respond being featured on FMWL!

What's the topic, you ask? Simple, really: "What's guaranteed to make you happy when it comes to Horror, Genre, or Cult cinema?"

You can respond and join in by emailing frommidnightwithlove@gmail.com. Anyone is welcome, whether they participated previously or are new to FMWL. Bloggers, feel free to post on your site and just send me a link, if that's your flavor. Just respond and let me know by Monday June 21st.

Thanks to all my readers and all my colleagues in the blog world! I look forward to hearing what you all have to offer!

Midnight Movie of the Week #23 - Happy Birthday to Me

I've always been a big fan of finding meaning in random occurrences. When a movie comes on to my radar, I try to find a reason why it should stay there. This can get really confusing these days, as I study anything and everything cinematic, but when I was younger I viewed movies in a much smaller scope.

Which brings me to the wall outside of each of my childhood bedrooms. On that wall, wherever we were living, hung one of those "When You Were Born" things that parents like to grab up. It covered politics, news, sports, TV....and yes, movies, that were supposedly important at the time of my birth. The movies section consisted of this quote - "Popular movies were the horror films Friday the 13th and Happy Birthday to Me."

By the time I was old enough and tall enough to read this sign, my horror film obsession had started. But when I was old enough to ponder that comment, I began to wonder. Was it fate that horror movies ruled when I was born? Do they mean Friday the 13th Part II, since Friday the 13th came out a year earlier? What are the odds that one of the top movies on the day of my birth would be titled Happy Birthday to Me? And why have I never heard of this movie anyway?

Yes, I was an inquisitive child.
It wasn't until my late teen years when I, during my first trip to the video store in my college town that would shape 80% of my DVD collection, would notice an odd VHS box sitting on an island of Clearance Rental flicks. The box caught my eye by being older than anything else in the store, the kind of VHS box that was cardboard yet flapped open and had the cast listed inside. The film was, of course, Happy Birthday to Me, that grey ghost I'd always wondered about. I remember feeling a rush of emotions and looking around nervously, like that scene where Morgan Freeman finds the box under the rocks by the tree in The Shawshank Redemption. If there's ever been a moment when I felt like I'd opened a treasure chest, this was it.

I'd obviously never seen the film, but that wasn't stopping me from throwing down $3 and rushing home to view this mythical feature. And as I got into the movie, I found myself shocked at how much the film felt like it was made just for me.

Balancing the look and feel of an Italian giallo with the plot of an episode of A Pup Named Scooby Doo, Happy Birthday to Me makes up for its shortcomings (like bad acting, bad pacing, being too long, having a ridiculous backstory, and making me feel bad for Glenn Ford - a cinematic giant I love who was clearly slumming it here) via originality. The film's tagline boasts "Six of the most bizarre murders you'll ever see!"; and it's on the money. While these "bizarre" kills border on silly sometimes, it's at least a lot of fun to watch.
Speaking of slumming it, Director J. Lee Thompson had been kind of a big deal earlier in his career with The Guns of the Navarone and the original Cape Fear (which I freakin' love, and I will fight anyone who says Scorsese's remake is better); and he does bring a bit to the proceedings at times. There's a fantastic scene in the middle of the film where our perceptions are thrown for a loop that is handled perfectly, and it gives the final act a unpredictable edge on a lot of slashers from the '80s.

I've still got fond, fond memories of that first viewing of Happy Birthday to Me, which kept me on the edge of my seat and reminded me that any movie can overcome its faults by simply keeping you guessing. This isn't The Usual Suspects or the like - you know, the type of movie that keeps you guessing AND makes sense and seems plausible - but it's a lot of fun. (I also remember feeling that Scream borrowed a lot of plot points from this one, and revisiting the flick today kept that belief going in my head.)
Happy Birthday to Me has definitely lost the edge it had on me during repeat viewings. Once the tension's gone, the flaws jump off the screen and remind me why this isn't a horror classic that would have been on my radar back in those days of HBO and small town video stores. But I definitely get the feeling that Happy Birthday to Me and I were fated to have that one great viewing, and I think anyone else who's got an open mind for ridiculous twists could have the same experience with it.

Random Horror Throwdown - Dance of the Dead vs. The Ruins

Last week's RHT featured two movies made 50 years apart. This time, the randomly appearing films were released....well, zero years apart, in 2008. Randomness, like Bono and those other people in that one band, moves in mysterious ways. Let's get to the tale of the tape.

VS.

The Movies:
Dance of the Dead (2008, Dir. by Gregg Bishop.) (Hey, you can watch the flick for free right about HERE.)
Starring: Jared Kusnitz, Greyson Chadwick, Chandler Darby, Carissa Capobianco.
IMDB Synopsis: On the night of the big High-School Prom, the dead rise to eat the living, and the only people who can stop them are the losers who couldn't get dates to the dance. (Note from The Mike: Losers who can't get dates to the dance? I resemble that statement!)

The Ruins (2008, Dir. by Carter Smith.)
Starring: Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Laura Ramsey, Shawn Ashmore.
IMDB Synopsis: A group of friends whose leisurely Mexican holiday takes a turn for the worse when they, along with a fellow tourist embark on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle, where something evil lives among the ruins. (Note from The Mike: The movie apparently IS a group of friends. I did not know that.)

My Experience With The Films:
Both films have been around me for a couple of years at the longest, obviously, so there's no deep childhood happy that can sway this category one way or the other. Dance of the Dead was a film that exceeded meager adaptations for me, while The Ruins was a film I wrote off as another piece of Hollywood drivel...before finding it and ending up impressed with the results. I've seen each flick only a couple of times, but Dance is one I've shown to friends as a time passer, and it was also the second movie I ever covered on this site (back when it was BORING). So I guess I'll give it a point. (1-0, Dance of the Dead leads.)

The Casts:
The Ruins is one of the most well acted horror films starring young actors in recent memory. Jonathan Tucker (who also starred in Tobe Hooper's Masters of Horror episode ALSO titled Dance of the Dead, which is based on a great Richard Matheson story but sucks hard) is adequate as always, and Jena Malone and Laura Ramsey (who's really hot) do well as the damsels in distress. The film relies on its cast to sell its weird plot, and they work it well.

Dance of the Dead is on the opposite end of the spectrum, with a no-name cast who are second to the zombies in the film's pecking order. However, there is Greyson Chadwick, who's pretty much the cutest thing ever. She's so cute, she'd melt a Blob. And that's not even possible. But cuteness can't conquer all, and The Ruins wins a point based on the actors' ability to carry a silly plot with straight faces. (1-1.)

The Directors:
I know literally nothing about Dance of the Dead's Gregg Bishop or The Ruins' Carter Smith. Both have few credits to their name, and no other well-known films. But I really dug The Ruins (hehehe...archeology movie...dug...me so funny!) in regard to how it was put together, and Dance of the Dead comes off as just another indie zombie movie. It's more competent than most, but I'm gonna give Smith and The Ruins the point again. His film's a little more impressive visually and put together in a unique manner. (2-1, The Ruins leads.)

Have I Mentioned How Incredibly Cute Greyson Chadwick Is?:
Yes, I have, but it needs reiteration. She's so cute, she makes other cute things look like the infested victims in The Ruins by comparison. She's so cute that I follow her on Twitter, even though I've never met her or typed at her. (Seriously, last I knew she was "depooping her shrimp".) She's so cute that, despite the fact The Ruins features Jena Malone who I used to have a cutecrush on and Laura Ramsey (who's really hot), I need to give Dance of the Dead another point JUST BECAUSE SHE'S SO CUTE. (2-2.)

The Plots:
Have I told you lately how sick I am of zombies? I mean, I love zombies. Not like lust love (I've seen some of those zombie pin-up pics before and they're just kinda gross), but like I want them to do their best and will gladly follow them into the mists of Avalon on a majestic steed love. Yet I'm sick of them. Zombies are freakin' everywhere lately, and I'm the kind of guy who will start to dislike something that's cool just because everyone else says it's cool. I know, it's silly.

The Ruins has a unique setting, a villainous force who's kinda Blobby, and the force that's attacking our protagonists inspired a ton of thought in me. As much as I want zombies to reign supreme, especially when they like '80s music, I can't support them right now. So I'm giving The Ruins the final point. (3-2, The Ruins leads.) This Choice Is Like:
I've got a wicked stomach ache right now. Had a lunch meeting at work today, and ordered a random roast beef and white cheddar sandwich from an arbitrary menu. Nobody told me there were peppers on the sandwich. But there they were, and I've got a weak stomach, and they've been killing me from the inside ever since. On the flipside, I love cheeseburgers. I really want a cheeseburger right now. But my stomach's so wicked sore because of those tiny little peppers that there's no way I can support that cheeseburger. The peppers had that much of an impact on me, even if in the long run I love cheeseburgers and am kinda repulsed by peppers.

As the point totals say, The Ruins = peppers and Dance of the Dead = cheeseburgers. If it were a mega-awesome cheeseburger, with a blend of cheeses and some other tastinesses like a milkshake on the side that wouldn't bollocks up my stomach, maybe I'd give it the edge. In this case it aint, so I have to let the physical effect of The Ruins win me over and think of better cheeseburgers that I'll encounter in other situations.

A New Chapter in FMWL Awesomeness Begins!

(Note from The Mike: Y'all remember that scene in Armageddon, right? The one where that one dude says something that seems crazy and Billy Bob Thornton's like "He's the smartest dude in the world, I'd listen to him"? In reality, a fellow named Narcosleepy is to me as that dude (Jason Isaac, actually) was to Billy Bob - only I haven't even gotten to first base with Angelina. (Yet.) Narcosleepy is also a wicked cool dude who loves flicks like The Mist, Behind the Mask, and Triangle near as much as I do. He's my step brother from another mother, and he's gonna provide some posts at FMWL on occasion. Starting now. I'm proud to have him on board, and I'd listen to him if I were you.

Oh, and he likes to party.)

Close Encounters of the Horrific Kind

(A study in horror by Narcosleepy)

So…who am I? Well, I will tell you…I am some nerd who has been allowed the opportunity to give blogging a chance in your prestigious blogosphere. My goals are two-fold:: A) to party and B) to talk about, like, stuff. I add in this word “like” to add that special touch of informal class needed to maximize the main goal: A), to party.

But the big question is, why am I allowed to write about horror/sci-fi movies in the first place? This question has plagued most bloggers since the beginning of internet time. The only place to begin to answer this question is at the beginning of my story:

******A misty fog enters the room, and strange orchestral music floods the background. Somehow the lights dim.******

It all began when I was born in a village named Glenfinnan in the highlands of Scotland in 1518. Wait...that is Connor McLeod. I was born in a fairly liberal family, with an annoying sister and two chill parents. We grew up in one of those strange homes that had no cable or access to movies in general. In fact, the only movies I watched in the theater as a child were Honey I Shrunk the Kids and whatever Disney animated flick came out. Horror flicks were terribly foreign to my family. In fact, my parents quite possibly thought the word "horror" was a naughty word to describe a woman’s promiscuity.

Phase I - The Origin

One day when I was about 7 or 8, my cousins thought it would be hilarious to bust out Close Encounters of the Third Kind and take bets on whether I would crap my pants when confronted with the sheer magnitude of the horror ascribed to aliens coming to “get me.” This little nerd in the making lasted until the point when the little tyke gets abducted, whence maximum crappage occurred. Of course I am physically kidding, but I did have nightmares about it for weeks. My family banned all horror.

Phase II - Discovery of Awesomeness

Several years later, I had the great opportunity to watch Jaws. Yes, I realize I was like 10 when I finally saw it, I am indeed a noob-skillet. Spielberg’s movies are not considered horror films to most, but to me these movies heightened my senses to the possible, the uncontrollable, the intangible, and many other able’s/ible’s that invoke feelings of horror. After that, whenever I would swim in the water, I would fear a shark or shark-like fish coming up and nibbling on my toes. When I would ride in cars that had a moon roof, I would look up and fear a star suddenly moving toward me and snatching me up. These movies were horrific to me. But rather than bein' a little biatch about it, I decided to cowboy up... and eventually fell in love with the genre.

Phase III - Horror Pimpage

Here I am now, a nerd who is in love with the genres of horror and sci-fi and sci-fi horror and anything in between. I am fairly casual in the realm of watching flicks, unlike the awesome genius creator of this very blog who lives and breathes awesome movies. But with the help of great friends who've exposed me to fantastic horror movies, I have absolutely and whole heartedly fallen in love with horror.

I can’t point to a single reason as to why I suddenly like horror. In fact, everything about my personality would suggest that I would hate horror. My parents hated it, I often think too logically to accept the assumptions of horror movies, and I lack imagination - my background is deeply in numbers and research. So why in the balls do I like horror?

Horror gives me something no other genre can: a release from thinking. I watch a horror movie and I am engulfed by the world it creates; a world of differential physics, behaviors, and interactions. Everything I assume about reality is tested. What I ultimately fear in horror movies is the change in my perceptions of what I define as real. For example, take the classic: “oh balls, the villain is dead, all is cool…oh wait, he just sat up, run!” I make the assumptions the villain is indeed dead, and when he/she arises, I am both in a panic and pumped up. Horror taps into my "fight or flight" brain goodies, and how I normally think is put to bay.

At this point, everything I know no longer matters, and the only thing that does matter at that moment in time is that I am in a good chair/couch that can handle me sitting on the edge and have good friends whom I can high five when a zombie chews some dude or dudette's face off. Without good friends, I wouldn’t have been exposed to horror, and without great movies, I wouldn’t have liked horror.

Thankfully here I am, some nerd writing about how much I loves them horror movies.

****The misty fog clears and the sun sets. I have, like, a bloody hatchet or sword or something and I look like a fierce pimp.*******

End of Awesomeness. Narcosleepy out!

Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

2009, Dir. by Martin Barnewitz.

One of the formative terrors in my life came from a short tale I recall finding in a "scary" story book I devoured as a child. The book is long gone, though I can still picture a navy blue cover and can hazily remember another story about a phantom truck harassing a driver on a dark country road, but the memory of one segment stuck with me forever. In that simple horror story, a farmer becomes terrified of the scarecrow in his field, destroys it, and returns home later to see, from a distance, the scarecrow sitting upon the farmhouse's roof, waiting and watching over the land.

The image of this scene that I created in my mind has never left me, and I've always dreamt of finding it recreated on film. It didn't happen in the mega-fun Scarecrows, nor the low budget (and low intelligence) Scarecrow Gone Wild, but I've remained optimistic that I'd someday find my fear. My life-long hunt for evil scarecrows on film shall not stop until I find this terror.

So when I saw the trailer for Messengers 2: The Scarecrow - the direct-to-video prequel to a film I never saw - I was pretty pumped about the chance to continue my search. Having not seen the first film added to my intrigue, as I recall that Kristen Stewart flick looking more like a "more boring ghosts borrowed from Asian films" film than a scarecrow film, though the farm setting almost did nearly draw my interest. Alas, this was not the film to meet my fantasy.

Messengers 2 stars Boondock Saint Norman Reedus as the patriarch of a small family who is determined to make their family farm work. As a former farm child, I'm suggested from outside the screen that he might need more than one very small corn field to pay the bills for a family of four, but that's not what the film wants us to think about. The film's solution to all the family's problems is a mangled old scarecrow he finds in the barn, which his seemingly wise neighbor (Hatchet's Richard Riehle, whom I continue to mistake for Bill Murray's not-as-funny brother Brian Doyle Murray) insists will "plant the seeds" that will solve his problems. Despite his son's advice (and the fact that his primary problem lies in a broken irrigation system, and not in crows), Reedus' John props up the creepy old thing, and fortune follows.

Well, fortune doesn't exactly follow. The banker who's out to foreclose and the neighbor who's a threat to his relationship with his wife (a cute thing called Heather Stephens) aren't problems anymore, and a busty neighbor who's fond of shedding her inhibitions (if inhibitions = clothes) appears; but things don't really get better. In traditional father-driven-to-extremes fashion (the DVD cover references The Shining and I'd say that's fair, if only in regard to the plot's ideas) things at home get awkward. All clues suggest that the straw-filled culprit is pulling his strings.

From there on Messengers 2 follows the standard modern horror blueprint for befuddling the viewer. A series of surreal visions and auditory hallucinations occur, and the overworked papa begins to neglect his family. When he does get home his uncertainties and paranoiac behavior get the best of him, resulting in arguments and forced sex scenes. Doubts are born in those around him, and his behavior escalates. Blah blah blah, you know this story. Reedus does an adequate job by never going too far over the top in the role, but he never seems unhinged enough to really sell the film's plot either. The rest of the cast members manage stereotypical roles that include the faithful and concerned wife, the teen daughter who doubts her parent by nature, and the seductive and mysterious neighbor. They all make their way to a silly finale with a tacked on moment that probably has some correlation to that Messengers film I never saw.

(By the way, what kind of word is messenger? Ever sent anyone a "messenge"? I haven't. I've heard of messages, but I guess the forefathers of that there English language just didn't think messager would have worked. I'm getting confused just thinking about it, let's finish the review....)

I guess the film as a whole is passable, as there were few moments that really brought out severe dislike from me, but it's awfully forgettable. The titular scarecrow, which was prevalent in the advertising, is rarely a physical force in the story, and there are definitely none of the roof-climbing shenanigans that I'd dreamt of. Messengers 2 gets its point across, but there's not much to that point. We've seen it before, and it's nothing that's going to haunt my dreams like that story from youth still does.

Maybe someday I'll find my terror. Until then, I'll probably forget about Messengers 2.

Splice

2009, Dir. by Vincenzo Natali.

Though it's veiled by shiny colors and hip modern characters, Vincenzo Natali's festival-hit-turned-summer-sleeper Splice is at its core a tale we've heard before. Most will make a connection to Frankenstein mythology through the plot, and the fact that our primary characters are named Clive and Elsa will ring a bell for fans of a couple of films made by James Whale in the early 1930's. As a big fan of Mary Shelley's original novel and the films that built on its legacy, it was hard for me to not respect what Splice brought to the table. While the film isn't necessarily original, it is definitely a unique take on the classic tale.

Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley star in this minimalist tale (there are only seven credited cast members and most of the film is contained to three memorable sets) as a couple of geneticists who are science's biggest rock stars. They've created a new species by splicing together the DNA of several animal species and are loving the free range they've been given over their lab, but the pharmaceutical company that pays the bills is ready to move on to phase two (because we all know what phase three is: profit).

Unwilling to walk away from their work quietly, Clive and Elsa - mostly Elsa - decide to move on with their own experiments, and graduate to using human DNA. After a learning curve is overcome, we meet the resulting creature that Elsa names Dren. Dren is something viewers have never seen before, a creature that exists somewhere between Species' Natasha Henstridge and a non-assimilated portion of John Carpenter's The Thing; a small feminine being with a protruding forehead, knees that bend in an inhuman direction, and a probing tail that doubles as a stinger. She's also a child who grows and learns quickly, seeming to develop new talents by the day. While Clive is disturbed by the offspring's ability to build intelligence, Elsa takes on the role of protector and mother, allowing Dren to develop. Like most things created by nerds with intelligence, Dren becomes an obsession to those who study her.

Like Frankenstein, Splice relays the importance of looking at the morality of creation when humans tamper with the gifts of life. Clive is very grounded and offers up plenty of doubts regarding how "right" their work is, but Elsa seems to be driven by a greater calling. There's a moment early in the film where Dren, still incubating inside her mechanical mother, flatlines and is nearly lost in Elsa's eyes. When the machinery relays vital signs after moments of fear, she briefly glances up to the heavens, as if she's mentally thanking God for saving her creation. In her eyes this creation is a gift that is her responsibility, and from that moment forward motherhood becomes a recurring theme between our female characters.

As she evolves mentally and physically, Dren becomes more volatile. Natali's work to show her instability reminded me of a famous passage from Mary Shelley's novel, in which that creation exclaims that it has the capacity for love or rage, and that if it "cannot satisfy the one, [it] will indulge the other." These indulgences lead to a role reversal for Clive and Elsa, which works both as a statement on the difficulties of parenthood and to signify that their creation can not be fully explained by science.

Dren's loving side does lead to an unfortunate scene of intimacy which will probably gain infamy among many viewers, but her transformations throughout the film were the most interesting part of Splice's story to this viewer. Dren, portrayed by French model/actress Delphine Chaneac and a lot of special effects, is given just as much screen time as either Hollywood star, and the character's expressions and actions seem to control emotions in the viewer. Like Karloff's monster, this creation can look innocent and childlike at one moment, yet can inspire unease and dread the next.

Splice isn't going to set the world on fire, and I think a lot of the film's intricacies might be lost on most audiences. However, I do think the film will have staying power with horror and sci-fi fans who appreciate the theories behind their terror. At present, I think Splice will serve as great counter-programming to the mindless films of summer, and that any open-minded viewer who is up for a tale that pits morality vs. science could enjoy checking out Splice and piecing together their own conclusions.

Midnight Movie of the Week #22 - Kill, Baby...Kill!

Italian super-director Mario Bava may be most known for his Barbara Steele and Boris Karloff films Black Sabbath and Black Sunday, but relatively lost among his filmography is the excellent 1966 ghost story Kill, Baby... Kill! (which will be known as KBK for the rest of the review, because I already overuse punctuation as is). I suppose it's unfair to say the film is lost, since you can find it on dozens of bargain bin DVDs and "Horror Classics" collections thanks to its residence in the public domain. But there are only a couple of restored widescreen versions of the film out there (one is only in a box set with four other Bava films, the other was never actually released by Dark Sky Films and existing copies go for over $100 on Amazon), and their limited availability is what makes it difficult for a fan who really wants to experience Bava's film. Thankfully, the film is pretty darn good, even in a transferred-from-VHS-and-washed-out-in-full-frame presentation.

KBK (also known as Curse of the Living Dead or Operation Fear; the latter of which sounds like a G.I. Joe episode) opens with a coroner arriving in a small village to look at some oddly departed victims, particularly a young woman who is seen throwing herself on a gate's spires in the film's first minutes. His findings? Gold coins inside each victim, which turn out to be the work of a sorceress who jumps into the story. Also involved is the village redhead, a medical student played by Italian beauty Erika Blanc, who might be the next victim.
In comparison to most Italian horrors of the '60s and '70s, KBK has a relatively straightforward haunting plot. But anyone familiar with his work knows that Bava does succeed when the film veers into the surreal, including a fabulous scene where the lead (played by The Last Man on Earth's Giacomo Rossi-Stuart) runs through a repetitive series of rooms while chasing a doppleganger to each door. The film also benefits greatly from some unique lighting choices. Bava had perfectly harnessed black & white photography in earlier works like Black Sunday and I Vampiri, but here he offers a lot of blues and oranges that seem like a beautiful flash-forward to John Carpenter's Halloween to this viewer. (The DVD presentation I viewed doesn't do these justice, as you'll see in the trailer at the end of this post.)

Child ghosts with a vengeance have evolved to become quite a profitable subgenre in horror over the last 50 years, and it's easy to see the influence Bava's film had on future filmmakers in that regard too. The sets are rich with wafting fog and dimly lit hallways (reminding me of films like The Others), and off-screen giggling has become a mainstay in haunted house films as well. But while KBK offers up these future mainstays, it still feels fresh in comparison to the films that followed, thanks to the intensity Bava's eerie setting and aggressive musical score add to the film.
I lust for the day when a high quality version of KBK finds its way to my doorstep, because I would like to call this one of the most visually striking horror films I've ever seen. There's a contrast between exterior and interior shots that is most interesting - exterior scenes show deeper colors than the interiors, but when the spiritual forces at play enter a building these colors seem to follow them in. KBK bucks the trend of most film hauntings, as pure darkness is rarely shown in the film's most tense moments.

While it may be difficult to find the film in a proper aspect ratio with proper colors, Kill, Baby...Kill! should be a treat for any horror fan looking for something visually enticing. Also should be a requirement for anyone interested in Italian horror (and maybe even Asian horror, which has milked the "ghost of young girl" thing for all it's worth). It might just be Mario Bava's best work.

State of the Midnight Address: Vol. 4 - June is the Awesomest Month!

Hey everybody, it's that time of month again. There's currently a storm raging outside my windows, a fire burning in my heart (wait, what?) and a can of Ravioli calling me from my cupboard. That can mean only one thing...it's time for another State of the Midnight Address! Here's what's going on in FMWL's world right now....

• First up, as usual, I need to thank some people. Recently, FMWL hit 100 followers! And more over, we're now at 103! Am I overly excited about having three digits in that column? You betcha. Of course, now the pressure's on, as I've got more than five score people to entertain. I'll try my best not to let you all down. To all of you, who make me excited to post something new nearly every day (even when I don't!), I send out a hearty thanks!
  

• I want to send my condolences out to the late Dennis Hopper, and his survivors. Mr. Hopper was always a favorite actor of mine, particularly in Hoosiers (my favorite sports movie, by far), Red Rock West, Speed (Pop quiz, hotshot!), and True Romance. But of course, it wouldn't be FMWL if I didn't mention his darker turns in Blue Velvet, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and Land of the Dead. You were one of a kind, Mr. Hopper.

• May lagged a little behind the last three months in the number of posts I got out there, and I apologize dearly. It was a stressful month at my real world job, which doesn't look to be getting better immediately. But I won't let them keep me down, I assure you.

• I'm proud to say that my most recent new feature, the Random Horror Throwdown, has been a lot of fun for me to write over the past few weeks. I'm glad to see that many are pleased with these posts too, and I plan to keep it going on a weekly basis for the foreseeable future. The Midnight Movie of the Week posts have been my baby since the beginning of the year, but I'm glad to have this feature going forward as a counterpoint to it. (By the way, it might not always be a Random Horror Throwdown, I'm looking at some other genres I can debate too.)

• In addition to these Throwdowns, I'm also excited to say that I've been asked to contribute to Flickchart: The Blog because of them. I know I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to make sure that anyone out there who's unfamiliar becomes familiar with Flickchart; which is definitely the most addictive movie ranking site ever. Go there, befriend TheMike31 (aka, me), and put together a pretty awesome list of your favorite movies!

• Recently there was a bit of drama involving several horror blogs out there, and a lot of people, including myself, became very annoyed. As a writer I fight to be taken seriously, even in my silliest of posts, and the kind of behavior shown - which I felt reflected back on all horror bloggers in a negative manner - frustrated me considerably. However, I do not wish to spend my blogging time on matters such as these - except for addressing the fact that I will not be dealing with them here. If you're looking for something more scandalous in a blog, I'm afraid I won't be able to meet your expectations.

• What has two thumbs and is psyched out of its gourd for Splice to open this weekend? THIS GUY! A review will be up quicker than you can say Jack Robinson....or at least as quickly as possible.

• If you haven't checked out The Bloodsprayer yet, you're severely missing out. I predict big things for this site, which has amassed a Dream Team of writers from blogs across the horror scene. They'll make us all proud, and someday soon.
  

• On behalf of my family, I also would like to thank everyone who took the time to read my posts on The Masha on Mother's Day and Clownhouse on my sister Mamada's birthday. They very much appreciated the posts, and were excited to hear that several readers felt the same way.
  

And, the big topic...June. My favorite month. In fact, it's so my favorite that I'm proclaiming it AWESOMENESS MONTH at FMWL! I've got a few exciting things up my sleeve, which may include:

• The return of The Midnight Warriors!
• A celebration of The Mike's birthday!
• A new Audio Commentary!
• More inductions into FMWL's Hall of Fame!
• And, quite possibly....a Blogathon!

EXCLAMATION POINT! Again, thank you so much to everyone who's reading, and stay tuned! All you midnight warriors and lovers of justice might just make June so exciting that I'll be dancing on the bed like the kid in this picture!

(Yes, that's the first picture of myself unmasked that's ever appeared on FMWL. Don't act like you're not impressed!)

Random Horror Throwdown - Plan 9 From Outer Space vs. The Last House on the Left (2009)

When I promised "random" in these throwdowns of horror film justice, I meant it. I can't think of a sillier matchup to feature than this one, but the more I looked at the screen I began to wonder if there was something deeper to this odd pairing of films that were released a half century apart. Thus, I put on my thinking britches. It's time to investigate.

VS.

The Movies:
Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959, Dir. by Ed Wood.)
Starring: Bela Lugosi (kinda?), Vampira, Tor Johnson.
IMDB Synopsis: Evil aliens attack Earth and set their terrible "Plan 9" in action. As the aliens resurrect the dead of the Earth to destroy the living, our stupid minds are in danger. (Note from The Mike: This is seriously the best IMDB Synopsis I've ever read. No where else in the world could you write "our stupid minds are in danger" and have it be this bloody brilliant. Well done, IMDB user called "Qrrbirbel"!)

The Last House on the Left (2009, Dir. by Dennis Iliadis.)
Starring: Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter, Garrett Dillahunt, Sara Paxton.
IMDB Synopsis: After kidnapping and brutally assaulting two young women, a gang led by a prison escapee unknowingly finds refuge at a vacation home belonging the parents of one of the victims -- a mother and father who devise an increasingly gruesome series of revenge tactics. (Note from The Mike: Seriously, try to fit "our stupid minds are in danger" into THAT synopsis. Maybe it could fit after "two young women", but I don't think it works.)

The Plots:
Plan 9, as the fabulous synopsis (I wonder if I can get Qrrbirbel to guest post here?!?!) says has aliens, zombies vampires, and Solaranite bombs. If you can make sense of the plot, you might think it has something to do with humanity and its destructive capabilities, but the movie never really forms a coherent enough statement to say that. The Last House on the Left, as the not-as-great synopsis states, is a rape and revenge flick.

And here's where I start to ponder. On one hand we have a horror based on the spectacular and unknown (and yes, I probably should mention that I'm listing Plan 9 as horror in the loosest possible way) and a horror based on the incredibly real and brutal. Do I want to see more rape movies, or more vampire/alien/zombie movies? I think the answer to that has to be the latter, which means I have to give a point to Plan 9 From Outer Space, right? (1-0, Plan 9 leads.)

The Directors:
If you know anything about Ed Wood as a director, you know the reputation. And if you haven't seen Tim Burton's fantastic biopic of the director, do yourself a favor and FIND IT IMMEDIATELY. Probably one of my 25 favorite films of any genre.

Dennis Iliadis is pretty much the prototype for modern horror flash-in-the-pan directors. He got a relatively big chance to make a horror remake, and now is attached to another one - an update of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. He showed competence in Last House, which is more than can ever be said about Wood, so this point goes to The Last House on the Left by default. (1-1)

The Casts:
OK, I'm not counting Bela. Yes, he appears, but I don't think it's right to count him in this one. And, though I love Vampira and Tor Johnson, they weren't exactly members of the Guild. Last House, like its director, offers a lot of competency in its cast, with career character actors Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter alongside one of my favorite current "That Guy!"s, Garrett Dillahunt. He's cool, so another vote heads to the Left. (2-1, Last House on the Left leads.)

My Experience With The Films:
Like the plot category, this one ruffles my brow. I've only seen The Last House remake once, and it wasn't pleasant. I could see myself revisiting it in the future, but it's hard to come up with a good reason why I'd do that. Flipping the tables, I've had ten good years of "enjoying" Plan 9 From Outer Space - if you can call making fun of the silliness of it all "enjoyment", that is. So, I'm giving it a point. (2-2)

Normally I Throw A Silly Comedy Question Into These Things...But Really, How Do I Pick This One?:
Is it better to be mediocre and vengeful or terrible and silly? If I had to watch one of these movies with a film professor, which would be the choice? How about if I had to watch one with my Masha? Do I shred every bit of credibility I've ever amassed as a horror fan if I pick what is generally considered the worst movie of all-time over a middling modern remake?

I....I just don't know. Is Last House on the Left a better film in structure? Absolutely. Is Plan 9 From Outer Space a movie I've watched several times with people and had fun with? Yep, it is. Should I just take the easy way out and call it a truce? No way.This Choice is Like:
You play video games, right? It used to be that in video games you had a set path where you had to do things one way, or you had to try again. But nowadays, things open up to you as a player. And along the way in these games, you can occasionally choose to do really ridiculous things that don't make any sense with your character's heroic purpose....but sometimes you do it anyway, just because it's fun to run over a digital old lady with a car when there are no repercussions.

So About That Final Point?:
Well, The Last House on the Left remake....I just don't care about you. You don't matter, and in a few years the only time I'll remember you is when I go "Oh hey, remember when they made that Last House on the Left remake?" Plan 9 From Outer Space...you're awful, but you're kinda homey. I like having you around once in a while. So, you win my heart (or at least this final point). (3-2, Plan 9 From Outer Space wins!)

(Note from The Mike: This ranking has Plan 9 somewhere above the 50th percentile of my rankings? Maybe my stupid mind is in danger!)