March 26, 2011

FMWL's March Midnight Madness Tournament - Round One (Part Four of Four)

 
If you missed Part One of Round One, go here.
If you missed Part Two of Round One, go here.
If you missed Part Three of Round One, go here.
If you want to know who the selection committee for Round One is, here they are:
Last but never least, we move on to...
THE BLOB REGIONAL
What The Mike says: Ummmm...Hail to the King, Baby.  Ash wins the day for me.
What the Selection Committee says:
  • "There’s nothing scarier than a drunk and bitter woman, especially one that’s 50 fucking feet tall.  But Sam Raimi’s classic is one of the most entertaining movie “experiences” of all time." - B.Stank
  • "Listen sister, I know your movie if full of hoity-toity symbolism representing the women’s movement and the growing frustrations of the American housewife, but we’re talking about the king, Ash, baby, ya’ dig? Evil Dead II rocks this bracket hands (that went bad and had to be cut off) down." - TL Bugg
  • "You would have to realize that anyone that spent much of their childhood quoting things like, “Someone's in my fruit cellar!” and “I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul!” will probably pick the Evil Dead II. Guess what? That’s exactly what I’m picking." - Matt
The Vote: Evil Dead II 11, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman 0 - EVIL DEAD II moves on!
What The Mike says: I love my Hammer Films, and Curse of the Werewolf is one of their most unique offerings.  But The 'burbs has been a fave of mine for more than two decades, and I can never get enough of it.  It's one of my favorite movies in this tourney.
What the Selection Committee says:
  • "So I love The 'burbs with a burning passion, and while The Curse of the Werewolf may be a unique take on werewolf lore, and stars Oliver Reed, that's not enough to make up for that fact that it's not The 'burbs.  I suppose that's not The Curse of the Werewolf's fault per se, but it's enough to make it lose this particular battle." - Emily C
  • "Hanks is just freaking awesome as your typical fed up, tightly wound suburban dad in this nifty little black comedy. Man I wish he still did comedy instead of just fishing for Oscars." - Mike S.
  • "The Curse of the Werewolf - Because it shows some teeth." - R.D. Penning
The Vote: The Curse of the Werewolf 6, The 'burbs 3 - THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF moves on!
What The Mike says: I'm at the toss up point on this all-vamp battle, but I'd like to point out that 7 Golden Vampires is the sixth (and final) Hammer production in this tourney.  I voted against Curse of the Werewolf, Night Creatures, and Captain Kronos, so I feel like I better vote for it to even the Hammer score.  
What the Selection Committee says:
  • "Martin: “He could be the boy next door...”  The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires: “Black belt vs. black magic!  One vampire wannabe vs. 7 GOLDEN vampires, come on. I’m sorry Romero, but you should probably stick to zombies. The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires wins because they are actual vampires. And there’s kung fu." - Liam
  • "Aside from the opening scene on the train, martin’s never managed to fully capture my interest. In fact, I’ve dozed off both times I’ve tried to watch the film. Still, I have to give Romero kudos both for attempting something outside his wheelhouse, and also putting a unique spin on the vampire tale by getting it out of the romantic European castles and villages and crafting a plausible tale that wouldn’t look too out of place in the headlines." - Mike S.
The Vote: Martin 8, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires 2 - MARTIN moves on!
What The Mike says: I feel bad for Vice Squad - as I did for Raw Meat, Gary Sherman's other film in the tourney - but it's just not up to Death Proof's standards.  Kurt Russell is now three for three in the first round by my vote, and deservedly so.
What the Selection Committee says:
  • "DEATH PROOF. The only thing VICE SQUAD deserves is a bruisin' once I'm tappin' that ass!" - Fred [The Wolf]
  • "There was a time when Starz HD would show Death Proof like ten times a week, and every time I would happen upon it, I just couldn’t change the channel. The rewatchabilty is so high for me, especially that amazing car chase that goes on for like half the movie. Love the soundtrack, love Stuntman Mike, love both sets of stories, love Mary Elizabeth Winstead in a cheerleader uniform, LOVE Death Proof! I’d totally make out with it while a rock ballad plays in the background." - Matt
  • "Two awesome things about this Death Proof. First-it absolutely through me for a loop when the girls we’ve followed the whole first act get unceremoniously wiped out at the midway point. I was 100% not expecting that at all. Second, how awesome is it when Kurt Russell plays against type and just becomes a quivering ball of goo the moment Zoe Bell and Rosario Dawson (**swoon**) turn the tables on him and start running him down. Oh Stuntman Mike, you poor bastard. You messed with the wrong group of femme fatales." - Mike S.
The Vote: Death Proof 8, Vice Squad 1 - DEATH PROOF moves on!
What The Mike says: Man....I gotta vote against Caroline Munro again.  Sad face.  But Phantom of the Paradise is just so unique and fun and catchy.  It wins my pick.
What the Selection Committee says:
  • "Phantom of the Paradise: Think horror and musicals are two genres that don't mix? Ever try peanut butter and chocolate? That's what you get with Brian DePalma's insanely entertaining and unique bit of magic, with Paul The Muppet Movie WIlliams' music to boot!" - Emily
  • "Straight up debauchery, right down to the poster’s shot of the massive boner that our killer gets from holding a decapitated woman’s head. 501’s can barely keep that thing contained." - Mike S.
    "This is the toughest match-up this season for my money. In one corner, you have Brian DePalma, the songs of Paul Williams, and the greatest retelling of the Phantom of the Opera since Gaston Laroux drunkenly reenacted it one night in a French pub using shadow puppets. In the other corner, you have William Lustig and the buckets and buckets of sweat pouring off Joe Spinell. It’s a slight edge, but I’ve got to give this one to Maniac. Phantom of the Paradise has the moves, but Maniac has come prepared to fight dirty." - TL Bugg
The Vote: Phantom of the Paradise 3, Maniac 7 - MANIAC moves on!
What The Mike says: Well, that depends on which part of The Mike you ask.  His brain says The Descent...but something inside wants me to pick Killer Klowns.  I think...yup...it's my heart.  I must follow it blindly. Killer Klowns get my vote.
What the Selection Committee says:
  • "One of the most frighteningly claustrophobic movies ever made against cotton candy cocoons and balloon animals. Winner: The Descent" - B.Stank
  • "I don’t know why there are so many clowns in the league these days, but I don’t care if the Killer Klowns are from Pluto or Boise, I’d rather try and run away from alien bozos than be trapped in a cave with killer mutants. Plus, let’s all be honest. Killer Klowns from Outer Space sucks. There. I’ve said it, and we’re all better for it." - TL Bugg
  • "Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuch. This one positively hurts me. I adore both films with the same amount of love I bestow upon Mounds Bars or English Bulldog puppies, but Killer Klowns is a film like no other, one that has such incredible amounts of go-for-broke spirit that I can't ever let it lose. I'm riding this one to the championship baby!" - Emily
The Vote: The Descent 5, Killer Klowns From Outer Space 7 - KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE moves on!

What The Mike Says: WOW.  The only way this matchup could be more abusive toward women is if it was covered by Marv Albert with Charlie Sheen on commentary.  Both movies manage to make my skin crawl, but The Stepford Wives is a bit tighter and a bit more moving, even if The Entity has the best final line ever spoken by a paranormal entity.
What the Selection Commitee says: 
  • "Knowing that (The Stepford Wives) came out right in the middle of the woman’s liberation movement, I wonder how many men saw this film and walked out of the theaters thinking they’d just witnessed an epic fantasy that  brought the world back to “The way it should be”." - Mike S.
  • "I love the idea of “reprogramming” my girlfriend to do as I say…like mow the lawn on 90 degree days or pretend that I’m at least slightly interesting.  But there is something so unnerving and genuinely scary about watching a woman getting violently beaten, molested and raped by an unseen entity, or demon.  Seriously intense and ridiculously underrated." - B.Stank
  • "The Poltergeist-esque nature of The Entity really appeals to me, and the booming score during the rape scenes got under my skin, but the creepy nature of an entire town where women are replaced with robots because apparently normal women aren't good enough, is much more eerie to me than an invisible malevolent entity targeting one woman." - Emily C
The Vote: The Stepford Wives 5, The Entity 6 - THE ENTITY moves on!
What The Mike says: I think these are probably the two smallest killers in this tournament.  The Pit won my love rather quickly, but it's no match for The Incredible Shrinking Man, which is a truly iconic sci-fi tale.
What the Selection Committee says:
  • "The Pit - Because of its off the wall bizarro-ness." - R.D. Penning
  • "The Incredible Shrinking Man: “Victim of weird mist ! Day by day he shrinks! Science is baffled! Cat becomes monster! Terror at every turn! Deadly spider attacks! Lost in a flood's fury!”  The Pit: “Down in the pit there's something alive. Half-human, half-monster half-crazed. Pray to God it only kills you."  I imagine it must be quite terrifying constantly shrinking, but I also imagine finding a half-human half-monster half-crazed thing is far scarier. That doesn’t even add up to a whole. That’s MORE THAN a whole. It doesn’t even make sense, and therefore, The Pit wins." - Liam
  • "The Incredible Shrinking Man: Ah, The Pit, a lovingly awful movie about the world's most obnoxious little boy ever (and his kind of maybe evil teddy bear, plus, trollogs). Um. Right, While I love The Pit's poster art, The Incredible Shrinking Man is an oddly disturbing and way smarter than it should be slice of '50s sci-fi terror." - Emily
  • "And….I’m spent." - Mike S.
The Vote: The Incredible Shrinking Man 4, The Pit 6 - THE PIT moves on!
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I'm spent too.  The first round comes to a close with a barrage of unexpected upsets, which should set up an interesting bracket as we move forward in this regional!  Join us soon for Round Two!

SECOND ROUND MATCHUPS - The Blob Regional
#1 Seed - Evil Dead II vs. #8 Seed - The Curse of the Werewolf
#5 Seed - Martin vs. #4 Seed - Death Proof
#11 Seed - Maniac vs. #14 Seed - Killer Klowns from Outer Space
#10 Seed - The Entity vs. #15 Seed - The Pit
at

2 comments:

  1. Emily8:50 AM, March 27, 2011

    NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I can't believe The 'burbs lost. I think I might cry a little bit.... and I'm really shocked actually that The Descent lost as well. Oh well, maybe it's for the best as I probably wouldn't have voted against either one if they had moved on, making it unfair to the rest of the movies. They're still winners in my book. I'm gonna go watch The 'burbs now so that it knows I still love it.

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  2. The Mike1:47 AM, March 30, 2011

    Saddened me also, Emily. Before I decided to bring in voters I was gonna do it all based on my preference, and The 'burbs would have gone all the way to the championship matchup under that format. :(

    Alas, it was not meant to be.

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